Gems from the Web: April 2

• Brian McNamee is having a yard sale for his Clemens merchandise. Now even you can be the proud owner of your own set of butt needles!

• Joel Zumaya is keeping up his off-field regimen intact with Guitar Hero. In other news, Todd Jones is still confused with how the television remote works.

• Man, Marcus Giles is thinking about retiring. That takes away almost 50 percent of our Giles joke inventory (Hang in there Brian!)

• Piazza is taking it to all “gutless fans” of the baseball world. Just wait until the “throwing Pert Plus bottles” becomes fashionable, Mike.

• Finally, a utility infielder who can sing AND dance. Take that Ozzie Smith!

• We’ll post both of these Yankees in our high school lockers any day of the week.

• Finally, Steve Bartman is still going to baseball hell, no matter what Moises Alou says.

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