Athletes Who Are Just Too Big

Eric NewmanCorrespondent IIIApril 3, 2013

Athletes Who Are Just Too Big

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    More poundage, more power. More muscle, more might. Over the decades athletes have jacked up in nearly every sport. But isn't body mass like ice cream in that the more the better... until it isn't? You know what I mean, the whole law of diminishing returns thing. Eat one scoop and you feel terrific; eat 10 and you end up with a puked-up puddle of Chunky Monkey in your lap. And with your body, get ripped, feel terrific; get über ripped and you can't even wipe your own behind.  

    Click on to see the beyond-shredded, the massive, the ones who fall the hardest.

Colin Kaepernick

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    Although Colin Kaepernick is far from the most jacked player in the NFL, Coach Harbaugh is worried that the QB's bulging biceps are going to start interfering with his pigskin tossing abilities. 

    Perhaps Kaepernick is just trying to grow those muscles so he has a bigger palette for his tats.

Shane Watson

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    The Aussie cricketer Shane Watson was reportedly a workout junkie. He kept beefing up, but his body kept revolting in the form of injuries. Finally a physiotherapist told Watson to downshift the working out and spend more time stretching. It worked!

    While he might fade from the most-jacked lists, he may once again regain his 2008 glory

Bryant McKinnie

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    Bryant McKinnie is the biggest of all in a sport chock full of Goliaths. In the Raven's 2012 post season, big Bryant served as Flacco's blindside protector. Not a bad thing to boast on your resume.

    But he also has a reported inability to stay in shape that even led to a $1 million pay cut in September 2012. 

Anna Watson

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    Hey, good for you Anna Watson. You've effectively shattered the dainty cheerleader stereotype. Those are some impressive guns. No doubt you could beat half the Bulldogs in an arm wrestling match. Just be sure when you are launching the flyer, you don't send her up into the stratosphere.

Jared Veldheer

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    The gamma-radiated Kraken you see in the picture was once Raiders offensive tackle Jared Veldheer


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    Ryback is a shredded beast, an "unstoppable monster." He should be a perfect fit for the world of wrestling. The problem is, the great minds behind the WWE don't seem to know what to do with him.

Emanuel Yarbrough

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    Hey, I get that sumo is a real sport and that though the wrestlers are blobbish, they are truly powerful. But come on, once you've topped 700 pounds, you are no longer an athlete.

    You are a planet.

Elijah Earnheart

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    Elijah Earnheart may only be 12 years old, but he tips (careens?) the scales at about 300 pounds. The folks over at Pee Wee football deemed he was too large for the league.

    Lucky for him, the rejection led to a spot on the middle school team, and an invitation to train at an elite camp for young athletes in San Diego.

    Coaches see big things in this kid's future. 

LaRon Landy

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    LaRon Landry's freakish strength could, of course, be an asset as an NFL safety, but there has been speculation that his musculature may in fact have slowed up the demand for his services.

    If his football career fizzles, he could always make a few bucks juggling Buicks on the subway platform.

Mariusz Pudzianowski

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    Mariusz Pudzianowski is a former strongman with multiple titles to his name. He's now part of the MMA scene.

    But many think his gigantic muscles are a hindrance in this sport. All those muscles use up a lot of oxygen and slow a fighter down. So the leaner, sinewy fighters can just wait for the giants to get gassed, and then work them over at their pleasing. 

Tim Tebow

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    Reportedly Tim Tebow is beefing up so that he can "take hits under center." But his new Te-bulk might not do him right. General QB wisdom is that adding "size cuts down on precision and flexibility." 

    And for a guy already reputed to be lacking in passing ability, well, a loss of precision and flexibility just might not be such a good thing. 

Courtney Lenz

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    The lovely Courtney Lenz, a five-year veteran Ravens cheerleader was not invited to shake her pom-poms at the big show this past February.

    Why the benching? She claims it was a penalty for the whopping 1.6 pounds she had put on

Tiger Woods

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    Tiger Woods' former swing coach thinks that the making of Tiger 2.0, (you know the barrel-chested, bazooka-armed Tiger that started emerging around 2009) resulted in a hampered swing, and a worsening of injuries.

    Sure did help him with the ladies though, didn't it?

Denis Cyplenkov

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    Denis Cyplenkov is an arm wrestling champion who most recently won the Absolute Open Championship of Russia

    He may not be too big for his sport, but with pipes that gargantuan, you have to wonder how much oxygen-rich blood is actually making it up to his head. 

Serena Williams

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    Serena Williams is not too big for tennis. Obviously.

    The only way in which her powerful physique hampers her, is in how she sees herself. In an interview for People magazine, Serena confessed that she felt her arms and her legs were "too muscular." 

    And cyber trolls everywhere with nothing better to do than discuss Serena's femininity collectively typed, "See, even she thinks so."

This Kid

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    Dear young athlete in lane 6,

    Your physique by no means rules you out of the world of athletics. There are plenty of competitive sports that can appreciate and utilize your heft. The 100-meter dash is not one of those.