Author's note: After much deliberation I decided against my original title "Who Lives In A Pineapple Under The Sea" due to this not being a humor article, other than the first section.
The day after No Way Out I received a text message from my cousin. It read, “Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?”
I thought about my reply carefully.
“Far ken Mike Knox!”
That was the start of what became our war cry for the next three weeks.
“Chunky and fearsome and bearded is he!
He’ll cut someone’s toes off if that is your wish
Throw them down to the floor
And go looking for Bisch!”
You get the picture.
Truth be told after Shane has us playing "What’s in Mike Knox’ Beard?" my friends and I all shaved, crowning Knox as the winner of that round of “Beard.”
All of this got me thinking, reversing the reverse-reverse psychology, what would the “Desert Destroyer” have to do to get some gold around his waist?
WWE have done some strange things with Knox since he’s been with the company. He gave us all hope whilst dating Kelly Kelly, got under our skin doing the same thing. Then there was the break up, with Mike playing the jealous boyfriend.
That angle had both Knox and CM Punk on the stick more in three shows that they have both had since moving to Raw. I had nearly forgotten Knox had vocal chords until he started beating up poor little Rey.
If you want to talk about angles going nowhere, Knox/Mysterio should be a prime example. That angle was as weird as it gets in wrestling. It never really got moving, and never really finished. I’ll get to that a bit later.
Why Knox has had so little mic time since moving to Raw is unclear. He showed during his time on ECW that he can be effective on the stick.
The only thing I can think off that could be causing his lack of mic time is his voice itself. His voice is not what you’d expect from a man his size.
It is a similar story to Punk, yet while Punk has now won two MITB matches and has held a major belt, Knox is languishing in wrestling purgatory.
The man who told the world he didn’t know why he doesn’t like Rey Mysterio, looked great in the Raw Elimination Chamber. Fans or not, most people thought his performance in the match was fantastic.
The next night had me screaming and throwing anything within reach at the TV. After putting in a stellar performance at NWO Knox put a shaky and obviously tired Mysterio over. I felt screwed, and the trend continued.
After being defeated by Kane in a qualifying match for Money in the Bank, Knox has been on Raw once. While his opponents in that match went on to WMXXV; Knox himself was merely a lumberjack for a match the company didn’t feel was good enough to be shown live.
With the draft said and done, things are looking up for Mike Knox. Moving Knox to SmackDown! along with the likes of Morrison, Jericho, Kane, and Mysterio is a wise move by WWE’s creative team.
I’m looking for Knox to go after Mysterio once again, considering that Rey is the Intercontinental Champion. It would be big business considering it’s the top title on SD! right now.
The other option would be to team Knox with Kane as they did before NWO and have them go for the Tag gold, with the Champions on Raw, I’d say that the majority of title defences will occur on the new “Superstars” show.
Which ever way creative choose to go, it looks likely we’ll see Mike Knox with gold around his waist sooner rather than later.
Footnote: I went to the WWE stand at the Sydney Royal Easter Show yesterday with the intent of getting a photo of myself and a cut out of Knox for this article.
When I was told they didn't have Mike Knox I proceeded to enquire as to why they claimed that you could have you picture taken with your favorite superstar when the didn't have a lot of the talent on the roster.
The response I got from the girl.... "Knox is your favorite? You CAN NOT be serious!"
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