Ranking NBA's Most Eligible Bachelors

Sean Hojnacki@@TheRealHojnackiFeatured ColumnistMarch 31, 2013

Ranking NBA's Most Eligible Bachelors

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    There are several chief qualities that can help attract a mate. Being good-looking, rich and athletic are all very useful.

    Professional athletes tend to be all three, so it's not surprising that most NBA stars have been locked down by a ball and chain already. 

    Even the youngsters can't remain bachelors. Imagine my surprise when I learned that 21-year-old Kyrie Irving is dating Brazilian model Natalia Garibotto and referring to her as his "wife." She's already getting a little clingy

    This is in stark contrast to the Derek Jeter school of bachelorhood. There's absolutely no need to rush into marriage. At least not until after your fifth championship.

    Plus, the hectic life of an NBAer can put a strain on relationships, so some of the league's biggest stars are still on the market. 

5. Russell Westbrook

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    This guy has got an Olympic gold medal and a closet full of crazy clothes. If you answered in the form a question—"Who is Russell Westbrook?"—you are right.

    He's averaging over 23 points per game for the second straight season and proving to be one of the most versatile point guards in the league. Sure, he is sometimes guilty of ball-hogging and questionable shot selection, but that just makes him more fun to watch. 

    The main benefit of dating Westbrook would have to be the potential for wardrobe sharing. He's fairly slender, so a tall woman could practically double her dresser in one fell swoop. And sharing eyeglasses would be a cinch because most of his don't have lenses.

4. James Harden

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    James Harden marches to the beat of his own drum. His pantomimed high fives after a technical foul shot fully confirmed his quirkiness. 

    But this man knows what he wants and does what is necessary to get it.

    He opted out of a powerhouse team because he wanted a proper max contract. The trade to the Houston Rockets also brought him a five-year $80 million deal. Not bad for a 23-year-old.

    While it's true that he's had some tumult in his love life in the past (recall the whole Trina love triangle that got Lil Wayne kicked out of his courtside seats), it's hard to pass up a beard that would make even the great Barry White proud.

3. Jeremy Lin

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    Jeremy Lin combines his squeaky-clean image with a gritty style of play that sends him clattering to the hardwood on a regular basis. 

    After becoming a global sensation with the New York Knicks last season, Lin has proved that he was no fluke by posting very similar numbers through 73 games with the Houston Rockets (12.9 PPG, 6.0 AST, 2.9 TO with Houston, 14.6 PPG, 6.2 AST, 3.6 TO with New York). 

    He's also a man of faith, so suitors had better be in it for the long haul. Be prepared for charity work and perhaps even chastity.

    But ladies, he's a Harvard graduate. And by the time Houston has to pay him $15 million in 2014, he'll already have surpassed that from endorsement deals with Nike and Volvo.

2. Dwight Howard

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    Dwight Howard is a three-time Defensive Player of the Year. He's also banking just shy of $20 million this season.

    It's fitting that he's landed in L.A. as he's shown a flair for both drama and humor in the past.

    There was his Superman-spoof commercial for SportsCenter, and his Sarah McLachlanesque plea to "Save the Centers." And who could forget his soap opera with Stan Van Gundy?

    But ultimately, behind all the verbal sparring and vacillating over what team he wants to pursue a title with, Dwight just seems like a nice guy. He enjoys eating cookies off his own face, so perhaps some lucky lady can help him out with that.

1. Kevin Durant

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    Kevin Durant is steamrolling his way to a fourth consecutive scoring title. Aside from that, it seems there's nothing this man cannot do.

    In his spare time, he's a movie star and a rapper known as Trey 5 (skip to 1:40 of the video). And he loves his grandmother, so you know he's wholesome too.

    Durant is a great American story in the mold of Rudy.

    Despite seeming undersized for the pros while he racked up accolades at Texas, KD has erupted into the NBA's most prolific scorer since Allen Iverson. (Kobe Bryant has only two scoring titles, mind you.)

    Durant just needs a wife and some championship trophies to complete his Norman Rockwell painting.