The 2013 NFL draft is less than a month away, and we have officially entered silly season. Smokescreens are choking the draft atmosphere, and mock drafts are in full swing.
What if we made a film based on some of the top draft prospects? Which actors would play them?
Amber Lee from the Swagger section here at Bleacher Report was my co-casting director for this endeavor. Her twin-finding skills are top notch.
Each slide will feature a snippet of dialogue from that character.
Kellan Lutz got his start as a model, and his acting career didn't take off until he won some Teen Choice Awards for his role in the Twilight saga.
Matt Barkley's NFL career is about to take off if he has anything to say about it.
Both [can be] blonde. None of this is coherent.
Barkley: "Sanchez keeps calling me. I don't know what to tell him."
Matt Leinart: "Don't look at me!"
Oh, the drama E.J. Manuel might face on draft day. And who better to play that dramatic role than Lance Gross, of Tyler Perry fame?
Depending on who you ask, the Florida State product could be taken anywhere from the late first round (per a report by Jim Corbett of USA Today) or fall into the fourth or fifth. Whatever happens, Gross will do his best to capture Manuel's draft day emotions.
Manuel: "For the last time, it's M-A-N-U-E-L, not 'manual.'"
Shawn Zobel (played by Jonah Hill): "So your name is Juan Manuel?"
Who better to play an Estonian mauler than a Norse god himself?
Chris Hemsworth, better known as Thor from the Marvel filmverse, would make a great Margus Hunt. Hemsworth is clearly used to playing big, burly man on screen, so he should slide into the football role quite nicely.
Hunt: "FOR ASGARD!"
Teammate: "Dude, you're not Thor. This is a football game."
Hunt: "I had more fun in the shot put."
The Keenan Allen portion of the film will be marked by anguished scenes by the receiver, who has had to deal with a terrible quarterback that happens to be his half-brother.
Zach Maynard: "Hey, bro. I know we suck, but it's so good to be here with you. We'll get through this."
Allen: (wisftully looking into the distance) "Yeah...yeah."
Maynard: "...wanna play XBox?"
Edi Gathegi might be best known for playing Darwin in X-Men: First Class. He might need to bulk up a little, but Geno Smith is a good role for the actor.
Smith: "But I threw eight touchdowns in one game. EIGHT!"
Matt Barkley: "Come on, man. That was Baylor."
Smith: "4,200 yards. 42 touchdowns. Zero respect."
Barkley: "You know the Jaguars just took you second."
Smith: "Like I said, no respect."
Like Margus Hunt, Bjoern Werner hails from another land. There is only one man for the job of playing him in an upcoming fictional NFL draft film: Channing Tatum.
Werner: "Oh, you don't wanna know what I have to do for twenties."
Director: "CUT! How many times do I have to tell you, Channing, this isn't Magic Mike 2."
What can we say about Ryan Nassib? He might not have the stunning good looks of a Matt Barkley or E.J. Manuel, but we can certainly find him a doppelganger.
He might be 10 years older than Nassib, but Simon Woods is the perfect celebrity comp for the Syracuse product. A little Hollywood magic and you'll never be able to tell the age difference.
Nassib: "But you said you'd take me in a heartbeat, coach..."
Doug Marrone: "Look, kid, Tyler Paulsen beat you out and he had never played football before. I'd take you in a heartbeat, sure...just not in the first round."
He might be a relative unknown—after all, how many Hollywood actors have just 433 followers on Twitter—but New Zealander Fasitua Amosa might have the best look when it comes to playing Manti Te'o on the silver screen.
The role will not be easy, though. As we all know, Te'o is more than the typical football player. His catfishing story will run the gamut of emotions.
Te'o: "What do you mean she's gone?"
(The phone clicks, and he hears a dial tone—because he is inexplicably using a public phone.)