Because every single second of every single day needs to be filled with fun and frivolity, the Triple-A International affiliate Lehigh Valley IronPigs will institute a urinal video-game system into their men's bathrooms at Coca-Cola Park starting in April, according to CBS Sports.
High scores will now be a badge of how much you had to drink.
This urinal gaming system has been developed over four years by UK-based Captive Media and presented exclusively by Lehigh Valley Health Network.
For more on what in the world a "urine gaming system" might be, consider this from the club's website.
When a user approaches the urinal, the video console flips into gaming mode, using patented technology that detects both his presence and stream. Algorithms then allow the user to engage with the screen by aiming in different directions to test their agility and knowledge.
The games are 100 percent intuitive and custom-built to provide a unique user interface along with an easy and seamless experience. Because your day just isn't complete without animated urine, here is the video explaining it all.
I love it, only because peeing is such a drab endeavor that really only needed the addition of modern video-game technology to spice things up a bit.
This video-game system is a simple twist on an old classic. Like putting ice in the urinals, companies started putting a little fly on the wall of urinals a few years back to help direct streams.
Apparently, some of you can't unload four beers worth of urine without spilling a bunch on the floor. As NPR reports, that little fly was meant to capture the attention of the simplest of animals, the human male.
And now, instead of a silly insect sticker, we have a kick-ass video game.
I have to say, I love where things are headed. Soon, we may be able to direct our own symphony or play a round of virtual golf, only needing to hit the concession stands a few times before.
As the video above points out, men love to play video games, which means sales at bars using the system have seen an increase.
The moment I come back from taking a whizz where I just played a video game with my pee is the moment I am buying double the beers and making sure my buddies are over-ordering on the domestic brews as well.
The only real danger should be rather obvious. In one case, you have the fly we mentioned that serves to direct our urine into the drain as if we were kids.
In this case, you steer the video game with your pee. The last thing I want is some random dude twisting and turning while he tries to maneuver in a virtual world.
"Hey, sorry I got your leg."
I love this idea. I think it's grand and wonderful and would make the world a much better place and everyone very happy.
It just might be a bit messy —which defeats the whole purpose, no?
Hit me up on Twitter for more high-brow discussion.