The Doctor's WWE Main Event/SmackDown Recap: Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistMarch 22, 2013

Picture by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)
Picture by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly Main Event and SmackDown recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.
The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.
I try to interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the things we learned, loved and hated from the show.


Main Event

1. R-Truth comes out in his ridiculous new attire for the first match.
2. I don't think Michael Cole understands what the phrase "Get got" means.
3. Wade Barrett comes out as his opponent.
4. Barrett is being wasted in the mid-card scene. He would be such a good heel World champion.
5. Truth uses his quickness to get the early lead.
6. Truth gets dropped on the apron and Barrett takes control.
7. Miz talks about his feud with Barrett and he actually puts Barrett over a little.
8. Barrett kicks Truth's head off his shoulders as we head to a commercial.
9. I hate that they have to advertise that the WWE champion will appear on Raw. It shouldn't be a special occasion.
10. Truth picks up the pace a bit after the break and turns this into an exciting match.
11. Barrett kills his momentum with a big boot to the face.
12. Truth counters Wasteland into a Russian leg sweep.
13. Barrett ends up yanking Truth's arm through the ropes and then he hits the Bull Hammer for the pin and the win.

14. That was a decent match, but it was pretty standard stuff from both guys.
15. It is a shame Barrett doesn't have a WrestleMania match yet.
16. After a quick video highlighting his success, Barrett talks about his barrage and how it is still a thing.
17. He talks about beating Chris Jericho and Miz on Monday, calling Miz a ponce in the process.
18. That is a word I wish would become more popular in America. I like it.
19. Barrett mocks Miz to his face and pushes him a little and Miz loses it and attacks him.
20. Miz makes Barrett retreat up the ramp.
21. This is a scene that would make Zeb Colter happy. An Brit retreating from an American.
22. Ohhh! Colonial burn.

23. A very green video package highlights the Brock Lesnar and Triple H feud after the break.
24. Maybe Stephanie can fight Brock for Trips. That video of Steph boxing was impressive.

25. Look, everyone. Alicia Fox is a heel this week.
26. Natalya and Layla are facing Aksana and Alicia Fox.
27. Alicia Fox talks about her trip to Rwanda with Natalya and she gets some cheap heat when she talks about Nattie.
28. Aksana and Nattie start things off and Nattie takes her down quick.
29. Once Foxy and Nattie get in the ring together things pick up a little.
30. Alicia Fox has improved a lot since debuting in WWE, but she still has a long way to go.
31. Nattie gets the submission win with a Sharpshooter on Foxy.
32. They replay CM Punk dropping the urn while mocking Undertaker.
33. Nice. Prime Time Players come out for the final match.
34. I think WWE has done well with PTP. They do not overuse them, they have built them up slowly and we have seen clear progression from both Young and O'Neil.
35. The Usos make their way out to face them and I just got a little more excited.
36. I like both of these teams and hopefully someday these two teams will be facing off for the tag titles.
37. Young takes control early, but the Usos quickly turn the tables and hit some quick tags and double team moves.
38. Titus barely avoids a Superkick when he comes in and drags Young to their corner.
39. I am starting to think the Ion channel they play Main Event on only shows crime dramas when Main Event is not on. Every commercial features a promo for a police procedural I have either never heard of or forgot about.
40. And yet, they have not started playing Jake and the FATMAN or C.H.I.P.S. Ridiculous.

41. After the break we see Titus in control of the match, but the Usos quickly regain control with some hard back chops.
42. Titus hip tosses Jimmy into the turnbuckle and he rolls to the outside to recover.
43. I am enjoying this match more than the so-called main event match.
44. Titus runs into a huge boot in the corner and Young takes the Samoan Drop and the Superfly Splash to give The Usos the win.
45. That was a fun match and it was nice to see The Usos get the win.
46. It seems like they have been picking up some more wins lately. Maybe WWE is planning to do something with them after WrestleMania and they want them to appear strong before they start a program.
47. One can hope.
48. Tonight's show has turned into what I have come to expect from Main Event. There was a good match, a so-so match and a boring match. I will let you figure out which match goes with which description.
49. I also have to point out that Jimmy and Jey Uso have some of the coolest tattoos in the WWE.
50. Hopefully SmackDown is good. We are on the road to WrestleMania, after all. That means they need to step it up.



51. SmackDown opens with a video package highlighting Jack Swagger's attack on Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez.
52. Miz is in the ring with Sheamus and Randy Orton for MizTV to kick off the show.
53. They talk about including Big Show in their match against The Shield at WrestleMania.
54. Miz brings out Big Show, who gets a mostly negative response.
55. I am curious if this will lead to another babyface turn for Big Show or if he will keep being a heel after Mania.
56. Miz recalls how Show ended their partnership and Big Show says he has dated women bigger than Miz.
57. Sheamus questions Show's commitment and Orton has to get between them.
58. This segment is taking a little longer than I would like.
59. Booker T comes out and puts the three of them in a match with 3MB.
60. After the break we see a replay of Ryback being destroyed by The Shield and Mark Henry from last week.
61. Zack Ryder gets the jobber introduction for his match against Mark Henry.
62. I am a little surprised to see a three-man booth tonight with JBL, Cole and Mathews. Usually it's just JBL and Mathews on SmackDown.
63. Henry finishes Ryder in about two minutes with the World's Strongest Slam.

64. Henry hits two more WSS on Ryder after the match is over.
65. Whatever happened to referees reversing decisions? Did they all forget they could do that?
66. Ryback's music hits and he comes down to the ring.
67. Henry screams at Ryback before the two run at each other, with Henry taking a clothesline and rolling out of the ring.
68. I enjoyed that encounter. Other than Henry's trash talk, they did more without words than they could have with a promo.
69. Booker T seems upset with Teddy Long for making the match between Ryback and Henry.
70. I wonder if they are turning Book heel. He seems to be acting irrational with Teddy lately.
71. Dolph Ziggler makes his way out with AJ and Big E Langston after we watch the Hall of Fame video for Booker T.
72. AJ sits up on the commentary table when she joins Cole, JBL and Mathews.
73. I am sure JBL doesn't mind the view.
74. Kofi Kingston comes out to face Dolph. This should be good.
75. Kofi tries to get the upper hand early, but Ziggler drops him with a neckbreaker.
76. Kofi comes back with some of his signature offense and hits the Boom Drop.
77. He lines up for the Trouble in Paradise, but he gets distracted by Langston allowing Ziggler to nail him with a dropkick for a two count.
78. Kofi gets taken down from the top turnbuckle the hard way for a two count.
79. Ziggler hits another dropkick for another two count.
80. AJ is doing really well on commentary.
81. Ziggler's shoulder hits the ring post when Kofi moves out of the way and Kofi starts to come back with signature back chops.
82. Kofi comes off the top rope with a cross body for a near fall.
83. Kofi springboards off the middle ropes and Ziggler gets his knees up.
84. Kofi misses a TIP and Ziggler locks in a Sleeper.
85. Kofi hits the SOS out of nowhere for a close near fall.
86. AJ kind of reminds me of Melina tonight for some reason.
87. Kofi ends up taking out Langston with a big dive off the top rope to the outside, but Ziggler hits Kofi with a Famouser outside the ring.
88. I am so glad Cole is finally calling that move by its rightful name.
89. AJ has kind of a funny line when she says "I am going to have that man's babies, and they will have glorious hair and abs like a Greek god."
90. Ziggler rolls Kofi in the ring and hits the Zig Zag for the pin and the win.

91. That was a really good match. This will be the World Title match at WrestleMania 30 or 31. I am calling it now.
92. After the match, Langston grabs Kofi and hits his finisher.
93. We see a replay from Monday when Bon Jovi met Ricky Martin.
94. We go backstage and Orton is still trying to convince Sheamus to accept Big Show as a member of the team.
95. Cole echos Miz's point about Orton being the voice of reason being odd.
96. After the break, we get a promo from Swagger and Colter.
97. Colter does his usual thing while Swagger stands there completely motionless.
98. Swagger's only contribution to that promo was saying "We the people."
99. Jericho's music cuts in and he makes his way out for their match.
100. Jericho forces Swagger to go to the outside and regroup after controlling the first minute of the match.
101. Jericho follows him and keeps up the offense.
102. Swagger takes out the knee of Jericho as he gets back in the ring and then he begins to focus on the leg.
103. Jericho hits a beautiful dropkick for a two count.
104. Swagger catches Jericho in mid-air and slams him into the corner.
105. Jericho keeps getting the better of Swagger as we head to a break.
106. We return to see Jericho run right into a boot from Swagger for a two count.
107. Swagger misses wildly in the corner and Jericho starts to mount some offense.
108. During the match Fandango's set comes down and he does his entrance on the ramp.
109. Jericho is distracted long enough to allow Swagger to surprise him with a slam.
110. Jericho tries for a Codebreaker, but after some counters he ends up almost locking in the Walls of Jericho instead.
111. Fandango takes out Jericho with a kick while the ref is distracted and Swagger follows up with a Swaggerbomb for the pin and the win.

112. After the match, we see Fandango go nuts and assault Jericho.
113. Fandango hops right up to the top rope and hits a flying leg drop to Jericho.
114. Big Show is interviewed and he says he is going to do what it takes to earn the trust of Sheamus and Orton.
115. That is the first time in months that Striker did not look scared out of his mind to be near Big Show.
116. After another break, we get the same video we have seen several times for John Cena and The Rock.
117. Rhodes Scholars are in the ring with The Bellas after the break. Excellent!
118. Brodus Clay and Tensai make their way out with the Funkadactyls for a tag team match.
119. Why in the blue hell is Tensai wearing a raccoon skin cap?
120. Tensai and Rhodes kick things off and Rhodes uses his speed to stay one step ahead of Tensai.
121. Clay tags in and takes it to Rhodes.
122. Naomi stops the Bellas from interfering and all hell breaks loose, causing the ref to call the match.
123. Antonio Cesaro is in the ring when we return.
124. It feels like it has been too long since he had a match.
125. Miz comes out to face Cesaro and Barrett is on commentary.
126. Cesaro gets in the first real offense with a hard knee to the face for a two count.
127. The delayed gutwrench leads to another two count for Cesaro.
128. Miz ends up coming back and locking in the Figure Four to get the submission win.

129. I am a little shocked that Miz got such a quick, clean win over the US champion.
130. After the match, Miz locks Cesaro in the FF again to make a point to Barrett.
131. I just had a great idea. Miz vs. Cesaro vs. Barrett in a triple threat, two fall match where both titles are on the line.
132. It opens up the possibility of Cesaro and Barrett trading titles, somebody leaving with both belts or nobody winning or losing anything.
133. They did something similar with Jericho, Kurt Angle and Benoit some years ago and it was an awesome match.
134. After some more recap and promo videos we finally get the main event of 3MB vs. Sheamus, Orton and Big Show.
135. I am shocked 3MB got a full entrance. I do not think we have seen that in months.
136. Orton and Mahal starts things off, with Orton taking Mahal down with a pair of clotheslines right off the bat.
137. Sheamus comes in off the tag and hits Mahal with the rolling senton.
138. Sheamus takes a page out of Big Show's book and shushes the crowd before hitting a chest chop.
139. Big Show smiles as Sheamus tags him in and he takes out D-Mac with ease.
140. Big Show hits the Irish Hand Grenades to return the favor.
141. Slater ends up in the ring with Orton and Orton gets the crowd going before hitting a big jumping knee drop.
142. Orton hits the snap powerslam, but Slater is able to come back and pull Orton down over the top rope and then hit a kick for a two count.
143. Hahahaha! Mahal didn't know who the legal man was and he tried to cover Orton and Slater has to tell him to leave.
144. Slater comes off the top rope into a dropkick from Orton and Big Show tags in and starts taking out everyone in 3MB.
145. Sheamus tags himself in and hits Mahal with the Brogue Kick for the pin and the win.
146. Big Show doesn't look entirely happy about what happened and he confronts Sheamus after the match is over.
147. The Shield's music hits and they make their way through the crowd.
148. Show and Sheamus get into a fight before The Shield can even get to the ring.
149. Orton gets in the middle of it, but the regroup before The Shield can attack them.
150. The Shield leave through the crowd and the show ends with Sheamus, Orton and Show standing in the ring staring at them.
151. I enjoyed the show tonight, but there was nothing spectacular happening at any point.
152. I am actually quite happy The Bellas have returned. Their natural snarkiness makes them good heel valets.
153. Kofi and Ziggler has an outstanding match that would have been more memorable had it happened later in the show.
154. Thanks for reading. I will leave you with this week's JBL and Cole Show, which features a huge upset in the Superstar Search.


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