Michael Owen has announced his decision to retire from football at the end of the 2012/13 season. Although this news may have been expected due to his lack of playing time and history of injuries, it is certainly a blow for all the Owen-ites out there.
Having played for great clubs such as Liverpool, Real Madrid and Manchester United as well as OK clubs such as Newcastle United and Stoke City, the 33-year-old Owen has been a part of our lives for the last 17 years.
Some of you may now be looking at the bench—sorry, football pitch—and thinking "there seems to be a gap in the market here." But it's not an easy route to becoming the next Michael Owen.
Despite the odd "splinters" joke—OK, the numerous "splinters" jokes—that have followed him around, he is still best known as that little chap who scored some stupendous goals for both club and country.
Here are 10 simple steps to replicate Michael Owen's career.
Pen and paper at the ready.