Though professional wrestling is "sports entertainment" rather than legitimate competition, the NBA could learn a thing or two from the WWE.
The ominous gong of the Undertaker.
The screeching guitar riff of Bret "The Hitman" Hart.
The energetic strains of "Real American" that signified the immortal Hulk Hogan was on his way.
As much as the wrestling superstars themselves entertained us, their entrance music was what got adrenaline pumping and sent waves of excitement through the crowd.
The use of entrance music could accentuate the NBA's most unique personalities and further build the anticipation of a fan favorite or hated villain checking into the game.
Granted, the likelihood of the NBA adopting this seems to be a long shot, but it's still a fun exercise in thought pairing the most unique NBA players with the perfect anthem that tells their story.
To kick things off, I've actually chosen a wrestling theme song for LeBron James.
"My Time is Now" is John Cena's theme music and is rapped by Cena himself along with the legendary Trademarc.
I actually see a lot of parallels between Cena and James. Both are at the top of their respective athletic professions. Both for a time tried way too hard to win over fickle fans who detested them for somewhat dubious reasons. And both finally embraced their detractors and used that hate to fuel them higher.
Aside from the parallels between the two, is it even up for debate that James' time is right now? Is anyone even close to him in terms of being able to utterly dominate a basketball game with sickening ease?
up in here up in here
Y'all gon' make me go all out
up in here up in here
Y'all gon' make me act a fool
up in here up in here
Y'all gon' make me lose my cool
up in here up in here
I don't mean to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty proud of this one. Is there a better musical parallel to good ol' Boogie Cousins than DMX? Both have a ton of raw talent but can't seem to string together enough moments of lucidity and self-control to avoid doing head-scratchingly stupid things.
Look at those lyrics. Taken individually, couldn't you see a surly Cousins snarl that to reporters who question why he got thrown out for verbally abusing officials or why he got an obvious flagrant-2 and got thrown out when he was dominating the paint?
Does this one really need any explanation?
I have the same thought while trying to figure out Metta World Peace's thought process that I had when I first watched Cypress HIll's "Insane in the Membrane" video.
"What the hell is going on here?"
The odd visual effects and strange high-pitched rapping done on "Insane in the Membrane" resonate with me much in the same way World Peace's offensive game does.
Aesthetics are nowhere to be found, and you're often wondering what in the world just happened, but there are a reasonable amount of good things that inexplicably result.
Then again, for a guy who went into the stands to brawl with basketball fans and then later changed his name to Metta World Peace, none of this is surprising; just insane.
No, this is not a reference to the movie of the same name Kevin Durant questionably decided to attach his name to.
AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" is one of the greatest sports anthems of all time. It is a pre-game fixture at nearly every NBA arena. The wicked guitar riff that starts off the song instantly sends pulses racing and boldly trumpets the rapid approach of game time.
From the frenetic pace of this song to the name, it fits Durant to a T. One could even say victims of one of Durant's patented 20-point quarters would feel "Thunderstruck" after the effortless beatdown Durant can unholster at will.
While the song "Ol' Man River" from the musical Showboat fits Tim Duncan perfectly, I have to admit the song was partially chosen due to the hilarity I find in an 80-year-old showtune being included in any list with DMX and Cypress Hill.
Duncan has never been known as the most electrifying or exciting player, yet he has put up consistently impressive stats and has played basketball the right way on both ends of the floor since he was selected first overall in the 1997 NBA draft.
In this way, Duncan is very similar to a river. He says little, but is strong and wise. He relies on an exceedingly high basketball IQ to continue to hide the fact that he's lost a few steps.
Like "Ol' Man River," Duncan just keeps rolling along.
Steve Nash has played on very good teams nearly his entire career. Though Nash has had some playoff success, he's always come up with the short end of the stick as far as a title goes.
This past offseason, Nash agreed to a sign-and-trade that dealt him to his once-hated rival, the Los Angeles Lakers. Even the biggest Laker hater understood Nash's decision to join the apparent juggernaut Lakers in hopes of snagging that elusive championship ring.
Cut to today, when the Lakers are coming off a blowout loss to the Suns, with no guarantee of even making the playoffs.
"Pinch Me" by the Barenaked Ladies is an upbeat song that deals with the doldrums of depression that can come with not being in an ideal situation. I can picture Nash nodding sadly to the tune sung by his fellow countrymen.
Blake Griffin, pictured here slow dancing with Jamal Crawford, is known for his feats of world-class athleticism such as his earth-shattering dunks.
While I have a healthy respect for Griffin's physical ability, sometimes his constant complaining to the refs and perpetual disbelief that he committed a foul drives me up the wall.
Shaggy's "It Wasn't Me" tells the tale of a man caught cheating and is asking for advice. Despite the mountain of evidence witnessed firsthand, Shaggy gives the philanderer the worst advice ever. Deny everything! Regardless of if she caught you red-handed, just say you didn't do it!
I can't help but think of this song as I see Griffin and his constant disbelief/denial when he's whistled for a foul, and even when he doesn't get a call to go his way. It wasn't a foul on him, despite the ref seeing Griffin hacking someone at point-blank range.
Each is a little bit old-school, but still hold up.
Each can make performing their amazing talents seem effortless.
Each gives fans an exceptional sensory experience.
Like Wonder, Pierce is in the later years of his career but is still going strong. Pierce is widely overlooked when the conversation is made regarding the best players in the league.
Some may even not realize the Hall of Fame-worthy career Pierce has had, or that Pierce and not Larry Bird has the all-time Celtic scoring record.
Supremely talented, underrated and downright enjoyable, Wonder and Pierce make a perfect combination.