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When all else fails, do something totally random. I have had my five-year-old daughter pick a bracket every year since she was two. She had Butler in the Final Four both years they made it. Turns out she just liked saying the word "butt" without getting yelled at.
People put the teams on a dartboard, which would be fine, but I am terrible at darts, so I'd constantly aim for one team and end up with the other.
However, my favorite random bracket is…wait for it…the "Ultimate Mascot Fight Bracket."
What if every mascot in the NCAA tournament fought to the death? Who would win it all? Let's find out!
The Midwest would have the Liberty Flames get through the North Carolina A&T Aggies, the Louisville Cardinals and the Missouri Tigers before losing out to the Duke Blue Devils, who one would think must be adept at handling flames.
Duke would beat the Michigan State Spartans on the way to the Final Four, assuming a Spartan can defeat a Memphis Tiger or whatever the flying horse is at Middle Tennessee State.
In the West, we run into that old Simpsons line, "Who are we? The Wildcats! Who are we going to beat? The Wildcats!" for the first time, as there are a lot of Wildcats in this bracket.
Could a Kansas State Wildcat defeat a Pitt Panther? I mean, seriously, if Kansas State changed its name to the ThunderCats like its logo suggests, maybe.
No matter, as Iowa State is totally making it out of the West. A Cyclone would destroy any cat, dog, bear or leprechaun in its way.
In the South, we have some must-see fights, including a Michigan Wolverine against a VCU Ram with the winner taking on yet another Wildcat from Villanova. I'm assuming a Wildcat can thwart a Tar Heel, but maybe I'm wrong on that.
The other side of that region is fascinating, as the UCLA Bruins would face the Florida Gators in the second round with the winner likely facing the San Diego State Aztecs. OK, it seems as though this fight has actually happened, and the winner was…anyone who just clicked that link to watch a bear fight a gator. (Winner: Bear, in extremely violent computer-generated fashion.)
Now, is there a video of an Aztec Warrior fighting a bear? I'm going with the warrior, who would beat the Bruin and take out any Wolverine or Ram in his path.
In the East, we have an interesting decision, because the Montana Grizzlies could face the Cal Bears in the second round. The winner is Montana, mainly because Cal's website said its bear is "lovable," which is code for soft.
The Grizzlies could destroy the N.C. State Wolfpack, but none of them—not even the Fighting Illini—would be a match for the Miami Hurricanes. (And yes, I know the mascot is technically an ibis and the nickname a Hurricane, but you try to make your mascot a giant wind storm and see how that works out in your gym, OK?! OK.)
With that, the mascot Final Four would be the Duke Blue Devils, Iowa State Cyclones, San Diego State Aztecs and Miami Hurricanes. The Hurricanes would surely make the title game over the Aztecs, and the winner of the other semifinal would depend on if you think a Blue Devil is more powerful than a natural disaster.
Never bet against the Devil. Duke is probably a safe bet on this one.
What did we miss? What's your favorite way to fill out multiple brackets?