The NBA's All-White Team: Our Favorite Icons of Pale

Kevin McHale had overbearing knee pads, a freakishly squared frame and and a general Gumby-like aura that gave him an overall kooky court presence.

He also possessed the straight-up strangest post moves know to man. Perhaps compensating for his white vertical mobility, McHale became the master of pivoting his way around the post and then using his eel-like arms to navigate through seas of outstretched defenders—somehow usually finding the hole.

McHale played for the Boston Celtics from 1980 - 1993, winning three championships.

White basketball players are usually considered "good guys." Fans assume they spent their basketball camp days winning sportsmanship awards.

Bill Laimbeer spit in the face of such assumptions, all while spitting in the face of nearly everyone he came across on the court. He loved subjecting opponents to hard, flagrant fouls and was despised nearly league-wide for his cheap play and simply unbearable attitude.

Even the insufferable Denis Rodman called Laimbeer "more than a thug."

Laimbeer played 14 years in the NBA—12 with the Detriot Pistons. He won two championships.

Chris Mullin's trademark flattop haircut may have transcended race, but his on-court M.O. was conspicuously white.

He was a serial spot-up shooter who lacked speed. His deadly outside shooting, deficient running, and overall style of play drew comparisons to Larry Bird.

Mullin lasted an impressive 15 years in the NBA, spending almost all of his career with the Golden State Warriors.

He never won an NBA championship.

John Stockton is one of the NBA's all-time great floor captains. He quarterbacked his teams with authority and creativity, averaging a career double-double at 13.1 points and 10.5 assists per game. He holds the current all-time NBA records for both assists and steals.

He is bronzed in front of the Delta Center, and will always be remembered as one of the greatest point guards to ever play the game.

He will also always be remembered as white.

Even after the majority of basketball players followed an urban trend in short-wearing, switching to a longer, more comfortable style of shorts, Stockton continued to wear the obscene bottoms of a 1970's tennis pro.

His uniform preference showcased pasty thighs that still haunt fans' minds to this day.

He played in the NBA for 17 years, all with the Utah Jazz. He never won a championship.

The Mt. Rushmore of white basketball players, in whatever galaxy that might exist, certainly has an image of Kurt Rambis chiseled into its peak.

"Goofy" is an adjective usually reserved for white basketball players—and perhaps no one in the history of the NBA has embodied downright goofiness like Kurt Rambis.

His mustache impressed law enforcement and scared children. His squat, black specs looked more like protective gear than eyeglasses.

But goofy isn't the only white adjective Rambis was flowered with over his career.

Descriptions that are the very antonyms of "natural talent" and "athletically gifted" are used when talking about Rambis. He was a "hard worker" and a "team player." He played his role and played it well.

In other words—he was a white player.

Rambis cleaned up a lot of garbage around the boards and maintained a high field goal percentage because of it.

The majority of his 14-year NBA career was spent with an extremely talented Los Angeles Lakers team.
Rambis won four championships.

Larry Bird is to white basketball fans what Barack Obama is to black voters—a success story for the race, a source of pride.

Seldom, if ever, has there been more fan interest and star power bestowed upon a white basketball player.

The "Hick from French Lick" began his NBA career by signing a contract that made him the highest paid rookie to date. He finished the year by beating out the immortal Magic Johnson for Rookie of the Year honors.

Over the course of his career, Bird won three consecutive league MVP awards, three championships, and two Finals MVP trophies.

He was also voted an All Star in each of the 12 full seasons he played.

Bird's numerous battles with Magic Johnson in the NBA finals helped jolt a withering National Basketball Association back into relevance.

Larry Bird is the only true white superstar to ever play in the NBA.