Continuing on last week's "Stupid Sports Cliches: Volume One," a couple more hit me this week. As usual, feel free to add your own in the comments section.
Now on to installment No. 2 of Stupid Sports Cliches...
4. When sports talk personalities ask, then immediately answer their own yes/no questions.
I feel like this is a relatively new cliche, but it has quickly become just as annoying as the "rookie mistake" and "fatigue factor." Sports talk personalities frequently use this technique to "straddle the fence" when it comes to controversial topics. Barry Bonds is a topic for which this tactic is commonly used. For example:
"Do I think Barry Bonds used steroids? Absolutely. But has he failed any drug tests? No he has not. Do I think he should have the right to play baseball this year? Of course I do."
So um...what's your stance? If I'm hearing you correctly, your stance is "kinda sorta maybe a little bit sometimes, it depends." Did I get all that right?
Do I hate it when sports talk personalities do this? Absolutely. Do I wish they would stop? You bet. Do I think they ever will? Of course not. As soon as I hear someone start this ridiculous exercise on TV or radio, do I change the station? Every time.
5. The "lunch pail" guy.
Sometimes referred to as the "blue collar" guy, this cliche is most often used in basketball and is attributed to athletes that fit a particular profile.
Contrary to its implication, "lunch pail guy" rarely refers to anybody's socioeconomic status or upbringing. It's more a testament to their work ethic. Lunch pail guy "earns his playing time in the gym."
He's the guy that "works overtime" to maintain his spot on the team. He "punches in and punches out" each day. You'd better "bring a lunch" when you go up against lunch pail guy because "you've got a long day ahead of you."
Enough with the sugar coating.
Lunch pail guy is untalented. Seriously, he's not good from a skills standpoint. He was not blessed with exceptional athletic ability. He's not fast. He's not agile. He's not smooth. He's not a high riser. He can't dribble. He's not coordinated. He's not an NBA prospect. He's not a lot of things.
However, lunch pail guy is a few things. He is freakishly strong. This is due to all of the "overtime" he puts in hitting the weights. He's often undersized (e.g. 6-foot-3 power forward).
He's often oversized (e.g. 5-foot-11, 230 pound point guard built like a linebacker). He's very seldom "just right" sized.
Whatever he lacks in height, he makes up for on the leg press. He's not afraid to scrap, either. Lunch pail guy tends to go into personal training when his eligibility is used up.
Calling a big, untalented, uncoordinated meathead a "lunch pail" guy breaks one of Beavis & Butthead's cardinal rules: You can't polish a turd, Beavis.
More to come...
comments (15) write a comment »
write a new comment
3 months ago
Yeah you get 5 points just for mentioning Beavis and Butthead.
3 months ago
So you think the Utah Jazz role players are turds?
from 3 months ago
Yes, literally.
from 3 months ago
sorry that your teams aren't physical enough to handle them...
from 3 months ago
Not your fault. No need to apologize.
3 months ago
haha ..do i think barry bonds used steriods? absolutley
3 months ago
Good work.
3 months ago
The 2005 Detroit Pistons were the original Lunch Pail Guys. It didn't mean that they were undersized or oversized but that they "went to work everday" and didn't take games off. It may be overused now but back then it meant a ton to the city of Detroit that their team was just like them.
from 3 months ago
There are exceptions to every rule, apparently even the lunch-pail guy rule.
I'm just trying to make some semi-entertaining and arguably humorous observations here. These are just generalizations, people. No need to bring to my attention real-life examples that "disprove" my generalizations. I'm aware of them.
Sorry for the confusion.
3 months ago
Gotta agree with BigReg here. A lunchpail guy is someone you can count on to bring it every game. This doesn't necessarily mean that they're not skilled. The pistons, in particular, seem to be a team that cultivates the lunch pail ideology. I would agree that it is generally not applied to super-stars, because it is assumed that someone with that pedigree IS bringing it consistently. Great defenders and rebounders (such as Dennis Rodman, Bruce Bowen, etc.) generally earn this tag. I'd pick either of them very high, if I was putting together a championship team.
3 months ago
Jeff, it is a good article, I laughed, I cried. I just wanted you to know where the saying came from. I agree that it may be overused now and even now I don't think these Detroit Pistons truely fit the mold of that but it did mean alot to Detroit in '05. That's all.
from 3 months ago
Thanks bro. I was hoping it would make someone cry.
3 months ago
If the lunch pail guy brings "foot speed" and "velocity" to the game, I'm sure that when the team is "under the gun" and in need of a "motor that won't quit" the team just needs to go to the man who will "carry the mail" "under pressure" to "drive the rock" to the "hot shooter" so that they lose by only 13 as opposed to 16 points. Great article.
2 months ago
HAHA lunch pail guy; great call.
You should also consider:
"the next michael jordan"
"genius" - this term should not be given to anyone professionally playing sports, as it is generally reserved for scientists, scholars, etc.
"shooting from downtown" - i recommend everyone to read Hunter S. Thompson's article on this; it can be found in PAGE 2 archives in ESPN
"cinderella teams"
from about 1 month ago
genious...as in Eric Man-Genius...as in the Man-Genius that got the Jets that great record last year!!!
write a new comment