Swiss Soccer Player Bitten by Wild Animal During Match
Because this kind of thing happens in Switzerland.
A Swiss Super League game between FC Thun and Zurich was stopped on Sunday when a furry intruder scurried onto the pitch and sank its teeth into a player’s hand.
The field crasher in question was a pine marten, a ferret-like mammal, and its entrance onto the green led to the Great Swiss Marten Chase of ’13.
The little devil was incredibly agile, dashing under benches and parkour-ing off sidewalls to avoid capture from security personnel brandishing nets (of course).
Being the fastest people in attendance, players eventually took it upon themselves to try and bring the marten down. Zurich’s Loris Benito managed to snag a hold of the wild animal, which repaid him by biting into his finger (an unpleasant experience, based on the look of its teeth).
The animal then snaked loose, shot up into the stands and eventually showed up on the field again behind one of the goals. The beast was at last captured by Zurich goalkeeper David Da Costa, whose gloves protected him from the weasel-like creature's fangs.
Naturally, a few hours later, the priceless chase footage was set to "Yakkety Sax" and uploaded to the Internet.
As God intended.
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