The 10 Sports Jobs I'd Love to Have
We've all dreamed of being professional athletes. We yearn for the days of glory and big paychecks, but in all reality, there's a very small percentage of people that are actually talented and lucky enough to make it to the big time.
So what's the next best thing, besides writing about sports?
Here's a list of 10 sports jobs I'd love to have.
MLB Bullpen Catcher
This is as close to making it to the big leagues as you can get, without actually making it.
You travel the country with the team, sharing in the glory (or failure) without actually having to take any of the blame.
You simply lounge around in the bullpen, cracking jokes and pulling pranks, not getting up until usually the seventh or eighth inning, at which time you play catch for 20 minutes, then sit back down.
Sure, it could probably get depressing never actually getting into the game, but if you can get over that tiny factor, there might not be a cushier job in sports.
If you can get past the horrific uniforms, this is probably the easiest referee/umpire job in all of sports.
With a complete lack of having to call such nuisance fouls as traveling or carrying, your workload is cut almost completely in half during the games!
Plus, deciding whether to call a charge or a block is completely up to you, seeing as how there's almost no distinctive guidelines between either any more.
Plus, you get to buddy up with some of the game's elite, and so long as you throw a few loose calls their way, the bling-bling you get in return is probably pretty nice.
NHL Goal Judge
This is the guy whose job it is to flick on the red light after goals are scored.
Prime seating at every home game, plus the fact that you're the guy who gets to tell the whole crowd when a goal has been scored and get the whole arena rockin'!
Scoreboard Guy at Fenway Park
If my memory serves me right, Fenway is one of the last parks to use a manual scoreboard.
Here, you've got one of the best seats in the house at arguably baseball's greatest park. You get to man an iconic piece of baseball history, all the while getting the occasional visit from some of the players.
John Madden's Bus Driver
Traveling the country with the NFL's most popular analyst might become a little wearisome (how much Brett Favre talk can you handle?), but there's probably some bad-ass Madden tournaments that go down on this baby.
Plus, when he's sleeping, you can pull the old pretend-crash-swerve on him. I'd pay to see that.
Second String Quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts
Quick, name the backup quarterback on the Indianapolis Colts?
If you said Jim Sorgi, you're either:
A) A member of the Colts organization
B) A fantasy football player
No other job in football is as easy as this (aside from maybe Favre's backup, but he retired...allegedly).
The only time Peyton doesn't play is when the game has zero meaning, so there's absolutely no pressure on your shoulders to win if you get in the game.
You can go out there and throw 10 interceptions, and nobody would notice!
The only pitfall here is having to simulate the opposing quarterback during weekly practices. Even then, you're wearing one of those red jerseys that prevents you from being hit.
Wow, Jim Sorgi, I salute you.
Whatever It Is Mel Kiper Does
This guy's job is—seriously—to guess what player NFL teams are going to draft.
There's absolutely no pressure here, because it's not like the NFL teams are taking his advice or anything.
It's merely filler for the time period in between the Super Bowl and Draft Day—so you get to b.s. for two-and-a-half months, and then nobody remembers what you said when the real thing actually gets under way.
On a list of pretend jobs that mean nothing, this is definitely at the top.
NCAA Tournament Selection Committee
Can you feel the power?!
What other job is so scrutinized, yet so satisfying, in all of sports?
After all the Conference Championships, half your job is done for you, and then it's just a matter of opinion!
Who do I think should make it? I'll tell you, and then I get to seed 'em!
No other job influences an annual downfall in work production as much as this cushy position.
Plus, you could always try to fix it so you can win your bracket!
Tiger Woods' Caddy
You get to play golf on some of the world's premier courses, insult Phil Mickelson, and take a cut of Woods' winnings—all for carrying his clubs!
Seriously, it might look like this guy might have some input into the clubs and shots that Tiger uses/takes, but in the end, the conversations probably go something like this:
Caddy: "Yeah, I think an eight-iron would be best here"
Tiger: "An eight? I was thinking seven, and I'd chip it in for eagle?"
Caddy: "Hmm, seven might work, but I really, really, really think an eight is best here"
Tiger: "Hmm, you might be right...but I'm Tiger F*cking Woods. Give me my seven-iron."
And after Tiger does chip in his eagle, you still get a cut of the money. Wow.
Erin Andrews' Camera Guy
You can get paid to follow her around with a camera for two hours?!
I know guys who have gone to jail for this.
Wow, what a dream job this is, filming this beauty, all the while getting free access to some of the best games in sports.
What could possibly top this?