The Doctor's WWE Main Event/SmackDown Recap: Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistMarch 8, 2013

Photo by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)
Photo by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly Main Event and SmackDown recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.
The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.
I try to interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the things we learned, loved and hated from the show.


Main Event

1. WWE opens with a graphic paying respect to William Moody, aka Paul Bearer.
2. I really hope Undertaker does something special at WrestleMania to pay tribute to him. Wearing his old attire might be cool.
3. Randy Orton comes out at the top of the show for the first match.
4. Miz is back this week for commentary.
5. Wade Barrett comes out with a mic in his hand. He talks about being in Dead Man Down.
6. I would like an actual tally of how many times Orton and Barrett have faced off on TV or pay-per-view. It has to be dozens of times by now.
7. They show an extended look at Dead Man Down during his entrance. Shameless.
8. Barrett talks directly to Miz for a second, but Orton attacks Barrett and rolls him in the ring.
9. The bell rings once the ref gets them apart and Orton keeps control of the situation.
10. This match gets off to a slow start, with Orton keeping Barrett grounded.
11. Barrett gets up and starts taking hard shots at Orton before he gets clotheslined over the top rope.
12. After a break, we see Barrett in control of the match.
13. I just cannot get excited about this match anymore. We have seen it so many times already that unless a title is on the line, it means nothing.
14. They have good chemistry, but they haven't had a really great match in a while.
15. After a second break, we see Barrett still in control.
16. Orton manages to go to the outside to get a break, and when Barrett follows, Orton slams him into the barricade.
17. Barrett reverses an Irish whip and sends Orton into the steel steps.
18. Miz had a little Freudian slip. I think I heard him say "As much as I go down on Barrett" when he meant to say "As much as I get down on Barrett."
19. Orton comes back and hits all his signatures to set up Barrett for the RKO, and Barrett escapes to the outside.
20. He pulls Orton's neck down on the top rope and then comes in and hits a running boot for a two-count.
21. Barrett lines up for the Bull Hammer.
22. Orton hits a snap powerslam when Barrett tries and then he hits an RKO to pin Barrett and get the win.
23. I wonder how many fans would have even noticed if they had just shown one of their previous matches and put in new commentary?

24. Cody Rhodes is shown backstage walking toward the ring as we head to break.
25. They managed to show him on screen without mentioning his mustache a single time. Progress.
26. Zack Ryder gets the jobber entrance for this match.
27. They don't even make it 30 seconds without mentioning the 'stache after the break. Forget what I said about progress.
28. Ryder gets the upper hand early on.
29. Miz mentions the Internet championship on Ryder's trunks.
30. Since his show is no longer around, does that mean he is no longer Internet champion?
31. Ryder misses a Broski Boot and Rhodes hits the Disaster Kick and Cross Rhodes to get the pin and the win.
32. This show is so boring. Two predictable matches in a row.

33. Sin Cara is out before the next break. Maybe he will be entertaining.
34. Antonio Cesaro comes out to face him, and I just got a little more excited.
35. Whenever I see Cesaro face a smaller wrestler, I try to imagine how he will hit them with that nasty uppercut of his.
36. Sin Cara gets in some offense before Cesaro whips him across the ring by his head.
37. Cesaro hits the delayed gutwrench for a two-count.
38. Sin Cara turns a tilt-a-whirl into a small package for a near fall.
39. Wow! Cara hits a perfect rolling sunset flip for a two count.
40. Sin Cara hits some cool offensive moves sending Cesaro outside the ring.
41. Sin Cara goes for a suicide dive and Cesaro nails him with the uppercut. Awesome.
42. Sin Cara tries for a top-rope huracanrana and Cesaro catches and holds him.
43. When Cesaro tries to turn it into a powerbomb, Cara manages to hit the move anyway and gets the pin.
44. WWE just surprised me. I did not expect Cara to get a win over Cesaro on this night.
45. That was a fun match. Cesaro and Cara worked well together, and I would be fine with them feuding over the US title.
46. The promo video they show for The Undertaker is pretty cool.
47. I haven't said this in awhile, so I will say it again. WWE has the best video editing team in the business.
48. Any time they show a recap video, it is always really slick and manages to make uninteresting angles seem important.
49. The way things are edited together with specific music and sound effects can really enhance the events of the video.
50. WWE shows quite a few recap videos this week, but it still managed to have three matches in one hour.
51. I think I have made up my mind on the new title. I don't like it.
52. I get why the concept is supposed to work, but I have always felt the WWE/World title should have some kind of globe on it. All the best belts have had a globe in some way.



53. SmackDown opens with a graphic honoring Paul Bearer as well.
54. The guy who does the opening videos sounds like Don LaFontaine.
55. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter come out at the top of the show.
56. Michael Cole talks about JBL climbing Mount Death this week.
57. I really admire that guy for doing something like that to raise money, especially after a long career abusing his body in wrestling.
58. Colter looks like he washed his mustache for the first time in weeks.
59. Swagger and Colter do their usual thing where they talk about their version of patriotism.
60. Colter wants to write a new Bill of Rights.
61. Swagger says he is drawing a line in the sand and taking America back.
62. Alberto Del Rio makes his way out, of course.
63. These two have been saying the same things back and forth for weeks. Let's just see them get into some fights.
64. Ricardo Rodriguez and Del Rio do a video mocking Colter and Swagger's recent videos.
65. Ricky looks more like a Wookiee than he does Zeb Colter.
66. I just learned that Mexican food is a delicious plot to destroy America from Alberto Del Rio.
68. This video was actually kind of funny. Ricky was the star, which was the best move.
69. Del Rio will be facing Dolph Ziggler later after fans voted to see it.
70. 3MB are in the ring when we return from break.
71. Team Hell No make their way out to face them.
72. 3MB really hasn't helped anyone involved. They have turned into a team of jobbers.
73. Cole talks about Bryan's Beard-Off challenge with Josh Reddick of the Oakland Athletics.
74. My money is on Bryan.
75. Kane takes it to Drew McIntyre and Heath Slater until he tags in Bryan for a running dropkick.
76. Slater tries to dump Bryan over the top rope and Bryan takes him with him.
77. Jinder Mahal helps get Bryan off his game which allows Slater to take Bryan down with a clothesline.
78. Quick tags allow 3MB to keep Bryan cornered.
79. Bryan reverses a move by D-Mac into a side suplex.
80. Kane gets the hot tag and he takes it to Slater.
81. Kane hits an uppercut to Slater as he comes off the middle rope for a near fall.
82. Slater and Kane have a sloppy exchange, which leads to Bryan tagging in and applying the No Lock to Slater for the submission win.
83. See? Jobbers.

84. We see some photos from a recent trip to Rwanda by Natalya and Alicia Fox.
85. I know a lot of people might think WWE does all this charity work to look good in the press, but the fact is it's getting done and that is the important part. WWE deserves a lot of credit for giving back in a lot of ways.
86. Ziggler's new shirt reminds me of the '80s.
87. He gets interviewed by Matt Striker about his match with Del Rio.
88. They show Ryback running into Mark Henry backstage and they have a staredown.
89. Henry snorts a little and walks away.
90. Damien Sandow is in the ring when we return and he talks about facing Ryback.
91. I kind of laughed at the remark about Darwin's theory forgetting Ryback.
92. Ryback's music cuts in while he is talking.
93. Why is Brad Maddox on commentary?
94. They lock up after the bell and Ryback easily backs Sandow into the corner before whipping him across the ring by his head.
95. I hate seeing Sandow without something to do. This guy deserves a feud.
96. Cole says he wants JBL back for the first time ever since Maddox is so bad.
97. I see on the crawler at the bottom of the screen that they are coming out with yet another Bret Hart DVD.
98. Unless it is mostly different matches than the last DVD, I won't need to buy it.
99. Ryback hits the Meat Hook and Shell Shocked for the pin and the win.
100. Sandow jobs to Ryback again. What a shocker.
101. I think the best opponent for Sandow both on the mic and in the ring would be Antonio Cesaro, but one of them would have to turn face and I don't want that to happen.

102. We get a replay of what happened to Big Show at the hands of The Shield.
103. Big Show is backstage, and he says he will knock out whoever gets in his way, whether it is Sheamus or The Shield.
104. Ricky is on the ramp to bring out Alberto Del Rio.
105. I wonder where Del Rio would be in the WWE ranks had it never given him Ricardo. Ricky has really added a lot to Del Rio over the years they have been together.
106. Del Rio gives his scarf to someone at ringside before we head to break. How long has he been doing that?
107. I wonder if he has the same scarf guy as Homer?

108. Oh great. More Fandango video packages. Just what we need.
109. Ziggler makes his way out with AJ and Big E after the break.
110. This match should be Match of the Night.
111. They lock up and Ziggler takes the first couple shots. He gets Del Rio in the corner for some body shots before the ref makes him back away.
112. Langston takes a cheap shot to Del Rio when the ref has his back turned and Ricky throws something at Langston, which only pisses him off.
113. Ricky tries to apologize and AJ stops Langston.
114. Ricky tries to hit him with a bucket of water and he ends up drenching AJ.
115. Now it's Big E who has to hold AJ back.
116. She crawls through the ring to get to him and chases Ricky around the ring.
117. Langston grabs AJ to stop her and the ref boots both of them from ringside.
118. That was the first time AJ has been somewhat interesting in weeks.
119. Ziggler and Del Rio were literally doing nothing the whole time the other three were messing around outside the ring.
120. After the break, we see Del Rio in control until Ziggler hits the best dropkick in wrestling for a two count.
121. Swagger and Colter are shown watching the match backstage.
122. Ziggler misses wildly in the corner and Del Rio takes advantage by pounding on the back of Ziggler before hitting a reverse superplex.
123. That looked awesome.
124. They both make it up and start trading shots in the middle of the ring.
125. Del Rio hits a kick to the gut that gives him the upper hand leading into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.
126. Del Rio hits a running side kick for a two count.
127. Del Rio calls for the cross armbreaker, but Ziggler counters.
128. Ziggler ends up sitting on the middle rope and Del Rio gives him a Back Stabber.
129. Del Rio comes off the top rope and Ziggler hits him in the face with a dropkick for a close near fall.
130. Ziggler misses the Famouser and Del Rio hits a German suplex for another close two-count.
131. They have picked up the pace since AJ and Big E got booted from ringside.
132. Oh My God! Del Rio goes for the running Enzuigiri and Ziggler jumps at him and hits a tornado DDT out of nowhere. That was really cool looking.
133. Ziggler counters a CAB into a roll up for a two-count.
134. Del Rio turns a tilt-a-whirl into a CAB for the submission win.
135. Like I said. Match of the Night.

136. AJ is drying off backstage and Bryan walks up to her.
137. Hahaha! Line of the night from Bryan. "What happened to you? You look like a Shetland pony."
138. I really like that WWE is calling back to their relationship this long after it ended. They rarely do that these days.
139. AJ says she is with Dolph Ziggler because he will be a World champion.
140. I never realized how much I missed these two interacting together.
141. Wow! Line of the night No. 2 from Bryan in response to AJ reminding him he lost the title in 18 seconds. "With Dolph Ziggler, you should be used to things lasting 18 seconds."
142. The look he gives her before walking away was hilarious. That was a great little filler segment.
143. We get a preview of the new Bret Hart DVD, and it looks like it will be a lot of unreleased and unseen matches.
144. I might have to get it now.
145. Mark Henry is facing Yoshi Tatsu after the break.
146. Tatsu is the worst-booked WWE Superstar of all time. He has so much ability and they just waste him.
147. Why is Brad Maddox still on commentary?
148. Henry wins with the World's Strongest Slam in about two minutes.

149. After the match we get another look at Donald Trump being inducted into the Hall of Fame this year.
150. Donald is the worst. He is human tennis elbow. He is the pizza burn on the roof of the world's mouth. He is the opposite of Batman.

151. It sucks that both guys involved in the Hair vs. Hair match they feature so heavily in Trump's video are gone from WWE.
152. Rest in Peace, Umaga.
153. Layla is in Kaitlyn's corner for her match with Tamina.
154. Cody Rhodes is shown watching the match backstage as Kaitlyn takes a hard fall and hits her face on the middle rope really hard.
155. Layla tries to help Katie outside the ring and Tamina throws her into the barricade.
156. Layla tries to get in the ring to attack Tamina and the distraction gives Tamina the chance to hit the Samoan Drop for the pin and the win.
157. Sandow walks up while Rhodes is watching and he makes fun of the local restaurants.
158. Rhodes asks what Sandow thinks of Kaitlyn and he says she is good performer.
159. Rhodes asks what he thinks of her as a woman and Sandow says she does the best with what she has.
160. That was another effective, quick backstage segment. I liked it.

161. Another Fandango promo plays hyping his debut after the break.
162. I think it would be hilarious if WWE brought back Rico to manage Fandango.
163. Fandango says Lilian Garcia got his name wrong and tries to correct her.
164. Fandango calls her Jilian and says he won't be wrestling since they can't get his name right.
165. Booker T is backstage with Teddy Long and he tells Teddy to go tell Fandango to make sure he wrestles the next time Booker puts him in a match.
166. Sheamus is in the ring for the main event against Big Show.
167. Show and Sheamus trade offense until Big Show sends Sheamus to the outside with a huge spear.
168. After the break, we see Big Show still in control.
169. Big Show hits Sheamus with something like a reverse powerbomb. The real name of the move escapes me.
170. Show hits Sheamus in the chest repeatedly with chops in the corner.
171. Sheamus builds a head of steam and hits a series of signatures on Big Show.
172. Sheamus counters a chokeslam into a DDT for a two-count.
173. Show avoids a Brogue Kick and Sheamus leaps off the apron to take him down outside the ring.
174. Sheamus hits the Brogue Kick as Show tries to get back in the ring.
175. The Shield's music hits and they make their way through the crowd.
176. Randy Orton comes down to stand next to Sheamus and The Shield attack them both while Show is still knocked out outside the ring. The match is over at this point.
177. Big Show sees what is happening and he gets in the ring to go after The Shield.
178. He evens the odds and The Shield all get thrown over the top rope.
179. As Sheamus turns around he gets hit with the KO Punch from Big Show.
180. Orton hits Show with the RKO and he is the last man standing.

181. If The Shield were smart, they would go back and take out Orton now that he is alone.
182. So Team WWE is going to be these three guys at WrestleMania from what it appears.
183. The angle of them not being able to get along might help sustain the storyline a little, but it will get repetitive if they keep attacking each other after taking out The Shield.
184. This night's show was pretty textbook. Nothing major happened.
185. Ziggler and Del Rio had the Match of the Night by a huge margin.
186. Lately, I have been ending the recap lists by including a video that is semi-related to what is happening on the show. This week, I decided to leave you with the Survivor Series match between Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels in celebration of Bret's new DVD.

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