I want to play a game...
Relax, no one is going to get jigsawed, although the game I’m suggesting in no way lacks weird, surreal moments that will leave you shaking your head.
What I’m suggesting is a bit extreme—it is a test of willpower and obscure sports knowledge that asks you to sort out fact from fiction without scratching your Googlepedia itch.
What I’m asking you to do is read the following bizarre Metta World Peace stories and figure out which one is the lying rat of the bunch—without consulting your search browser or making a run for Mount Wikipedia.
That being said, the game is on. May the Metta oddness be forever in your favor.
After tweaking his ankle in a recent game, Metta World Peace tweeted he had hurt himself doing a new (increasingly insufferable) dance called the Harlem Shake during the game:
“I hit a three and just thought I’d do the Harlem Shake. But it’ll be okay. We’re soldiers.”
Peace was joking, however, and said the injury came after landing on Serge Ibaka’s foot during the Lakers' matchup with the Oklahoma City Thunder.
Metta World Peace once claimed in a 2009 post-game interview that a childhood friend of his had been skewered through the heart with a table leg during a basketball game and died right there on the court.
Peace told reporters this story in the locker room after being ejected from a game for a confrontation with Kobe Bryant and was attempting to explain how he’s no stranger to physical play on the basketball court.
The real world (the one outside of Metta’s head) remained skeptical, that is, until some intrepid sports bloggers uncovered a New York Times article concerning the death of a young man at a YMCA-sponsored basketball tournament that matched Peace’s description of the event.
During the 2011 NBA lockout, a pre-Metta Ron Artest spent his time off honing his speechcraft and supplementing his income via a nationwide stand up comedy tour.
His act became so popular that Peace ended up doing an opening act at Caroline’s—a prestigious comedy night club on Broadway in New York City.
Peace also claimed he made more money doing stand-up than he would’ve playing basketball overseas, and that he’d keep doing it until the lockout ended.
Metta World Peace (then Ron Artest) proved he was an equal opportunity partier after tweeting pictures of himself partying with Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane and other members of the Chicago Blackhawks in downtown Chicago in June of 2010.
Peace and the new Stanley Cup Champions were spotted in a VIP section at Spy Bar dancing and ordering bottles of champagne.
“I told them ‘We’re the best in the world,’” Peace said to reporters. “[The Blackhawks] won their championship, [the Lakers] won [the NBA Finals]. We’re on top of it.”
Peace said the group visited several different bars before ending up at Toews’ home, where he tweeted a picture of he and Toews posing with hockey sticks in front of a Canadian flag with the caption “Warriors.”
Peace allegedly ended up leaving the apartment with the flag and another small treasure—a handful of coffee K-cups from the kitchen.
“I told him [the flag] was cool, and [Toews] gave it to me,” said Peace. “Don’t tell him about the cups, though.”
In keeping with his complete 180 degree turn toward playful goofiness, Metta World Peace has announced his plan to produce and star in a television prank show sometime in the near future.
The show’s tentative title is “Metta World Pranks,” and will feature Peace and other professional athletes pulling off practical jokes on unsuspecting strangers, family members and fans as hidden cameras film.
Before being drafted by the Chicago Bulls, Metta World Peace majored in mathematics at Saint John’s University.
But despite his mathematical background, Peace was once unable to answer what “nine times six” equaled while trying to buy an entire tray of hot dogs from a street vendor in Houston.
Knowing a good role when he reads one, Metta World Peace agreed to play the role of “Garlan Finch” in the Lifetime cop-drama The Eleventh Hour.
Peace’s character, Finch, is a detective who announces his plans to retire from the force to serve his country in Afghanistan. Finch is the sidekick to Hailey Dean (Jennie Garth), the series protagonist.
Dean and Finch are on the trail of a dangerous serial killer—who, in turn, is on the hunt to find them.
Finch’s impending departure for the military leaves Dean feeling alone, vulnerable and struggling with another deadly enemy—her addiction to prescription drugs that only Finch seems capable of helping her fight.
After a long day in Los Angeles filming an independent film about life in the streets, Metta World Peace was woken up at his home by the pounding of police officers at his front door.
Officers told him that local residents had seen several men near his property brandishing guns at one another, and wanted to ask him some questions.
Peace told reporters that he had just finished watching a movie and had fallen asleep when officers arrived and he believed he was dreaming when he saw 20 cruisers on his property and a police helicopter circling overhead.
“I was like, ‘What the hell is going on?’” World Peace said. “I just got finished watching Zero Dark Thirty, or whatever that movie is. I’m like ‘I’m dreaming. Is there a terrorist in the building? Do y’all need my help?'”
The Los Angeles enforcer proceeded to put on his Cookie Monster pajamas and cooperate with officers, who had locked down the entire surrounding city block after finding Peace’s nephew and several actors from the movie goofing around with fake guns from the set.
Peace confirmed the guns were BB guns and no one was charged.
Metta World Peace (then Ron Artest) had his dogs taken from him and kept in the pound for a total of 77 days when neighbors complained about the pooches running loose and not being nourished properly.
Neighbors claimed to have visited the house to feed and water the neglected animals before they were impounded by Animal Control officers.
Peace’s maltreatment of his dogs cost him nearly $2,000 in boarding and impound fees, and seeking contrition for his act, he shot a commercial for PETA imploring dog owners to “Have the balls to spay or neuter your dog.”
After the infamous “Malice in the Palace” incident that ended Peace’s 2004 season, it would seem highly unlikely that Ron Artest would ever put himself within 10 feet over another Detroit Pistons fan.
But then there came the Metta World Renaissance. Ron Artest became Metta World Peace, and with that came a newer, (somewhat) calmer demeanor for the former NBA villain.
And part of Peace’s complete turnaround was his decision to reach out the fan who threw the beer that triggered the Motor City Meltdown and mend their nonexistent ties.
Peace reached out via Twitter in 2012 to find the man, tweeting “Anybody that can find me this guy’s number or information, I’ll take you to lunch."
As it turned out, Peace found the fan—a man named John Green—and the two shared a conciliatory phone call and are now friends.
“That’s what it’s all about,” said Green, who says Peace is “good guy.”
“It’s getting over the hurdles in life and getting past them and using what we’ve done as a mistake.”
Metta World Peace became an advocate for style and substance after appearing in an advertisement for iCellWatch.
“I’m an athlete,” said Metta World Peace. “I can shoot, dunk, pass... I can check the weather while I’m playing basketball
The answer is in the next slide. Make your choice now, and be honest—Metta will know if you're lying.
Got it? Alright, click on for the answer.
If you said #4—YOU WIN ALL THE SOUR PATCH KIDS. Or Werther's Originals. Whatever you're into.
No, unfortunately, Metta World Peace did not go on a bender with the Chicago Blackhawks. But Lord, would that would've been beautiful.
He did, in fact:
1. Claim he twisted his ankle Harlem-shaking.
2. See a guy get stabbed over a basketball game, (though some people question if he was there or not).
3. Go on a nationwide standup tour that included opening at Caroline's.
5. Plan to shoot a prank show.
7. Play a detective in a Lifetime TV show.
8. End up in a police lockdown over the fake guns from a movie he was filming.
10. Become friends with the fan who threw beer on him in Detroit.
11. Do commercials for Cellphone watches.