WWE Worst of the Week: Kane, Sheamus and More

Andy Soucek@Andy_SoucekFeatured ColumnistMarch 3, 2013

WWE Worst of the Week: Kane, Sheamus and More

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    Did I say that right?

    Mr. Fandango (is that a first or a last name?) helped cap off another strange week in WWE.

    Punk and Cena put on one of the greatest matches in Raw history, but we had to sit through a lot of shenanigans, rifraff and a bit of tomfoolery to get there. 

    Besides overdosing on movie trailers and Zeb Colter, we also got to see Triple H live out his boyhood fantasy again by pretending that he's the toughest man on the planet.

    Overall, it felt like kind of a throwaway week in wrestling. With the Old School Raw scheduled, we may have to wait another week before the true WrestleMania hype begins.

    With that lack of hype, we were left with quite a bit of garbage to sort though, and that's what this article is for. Let's take a look back at WWE's most confusing, embarrassing and downright horrendous moments of the week!

    After you're done reading, let's meet up at Sonic's for some Spicy Jumbo Popcorn Chicken and tots!

Damien Sandow's Breath

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    Has Alberto Del Rio been stealing material from John Cena and Sheamus lately? 

    As Damien Sandow was doing his entertaining form of trash talking, Del Rio simply laid out this dud for him in response to Sandow's "unwashed masses" remark:

    "I think you need to wash your mouth... because it smells like caca!"

    Caca? Okay then. 

    So let me get this straight, Sandow made fun of Del Rio and the audience for not being as smart as him, so for a comeback Del Rio made a poop joke.


    After Del Rio's line, Jerry Lawler jumped in on the fun with his own breath-related jokes. But really, that's just Lawler being Lawler.

    The last thing WWE needs right now is another top-level babyface with a bottom-level sense of humor. 

They're Talking, but Their Lips Aren't Moving

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    Thanks to the wonders of technology, we got to see a wrestling show that was taped on Tuesday air on a Friday.

    But what was a bit sketchy about this week's episode was that it wasn't as "live" as WWE was promoting for their Social Media SmackDown.

    Now, I'm no big city lawyer, but I do believe that is false advertising.

    Basically, the announcers just did the announcing in post so they could throw in more current event talk than usual. This didn't quite work out, as during the show there were various shots of the announcers in the background and they weren't talking.

    The whole Social Media aspect of the show was basically non-existent. It was just tweets scrolling across the bottom of the screen at various points in the show. 

    Those hoping for random fans Touting, instead of actual wrestling, must have been sorely disappointed. 

WWE Proudly Presents: Commercials

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    Do you want to see Dead Man Down or The Call?


    Well then, how about the straight-to-DVD sequel to the Ted DiBiase classic The Marine 2, The Marine 3?


    Well, do you want to buy some Sonic right now?

    Yeah, me neither.

    Sure, it may be WrestleMania season and five weeks away from the absolute biggest show of the year, but the company would rather convince people during their own TV show to leave the house and go buy some tater tots and a sundae. 

    What kind of business are they running? 

    Maybe next week they can give Jerry Lawler and Michael Cole the night off and just let the Sonic guys do commentary for the night—at the very least their jokes would be more current. 

Sheamus, Just Lay off Okay?

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    As soon as the graphic for Sheamus' Oscar segment was shown on the screen, a Worst of the Week entry was all but guaranteed.

    The only question was, "How bad will this be?"

    Sheamus did not disappoint as he took part in another atrocious segment that only someone like The Rock could have even possibly pulled off. 

    And seriously, what the hell is Sheamus’ problem?

    First, he interrupted Wade Barrett twice without any provocation last week, and then on Monday he came out with his Oscar segment solely to embarrass him.

    He went through the trouble of renting a tux and setting up a fake awards ceremony just to make fun of someone else.

    That’s borderline psychotic.

    Barrett is not the heel in this feud. Whatever Barrett does to Sheamus, he clearly has it coming.

The Primetime Players Buried

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    What did Titus O’Neil do to deserve this?

    Which member of Vince McMahon's family did he accidentally walk in on while they were naked?

    The tag team revival died a sad death recently, and every other team has become jobbers for Team Overexposed and No Longer Funny... I mean Team Hell No. 

    Perhaps in the biggest upset in wrestling history, a one-armed man and a blindfolded man successfully defeated two trained fighters in a matter of minutes. 

    Team Hell No gained absolutely nothing by beating these two, and the Primetime Players lost every last remaining shred of credibility they had left.

    Sure, they won the rematch on SmackDown, but they had to do it by rolling up a one-armed man. 

    With the lack of true stars in the WWE, it boggles my mind that O'Neil hasn't been given a chance to shine after he showed great personality on commentary a couple of months ago. 

    It's almost like he was punished for being entertaining.

    Maybe he should have stuck to the caca jokes.


    Well, that's all for this week. Agree? Disagree? What was your worst of the week? Sound off below!