The Milwaukee Brewers are missing one Italian sausage with a penchant for running races. If you have seen him, please alert the authorities!
The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports the Klement's Racing Italian Sausage has gone missing, but still managed to entertain fans at a recent barhopping extravaganza recently.
Update: Thursday, February 28, 1:05 p.m. ET
The Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel reports we can all take down our candlelight vigils for the moment, because Guido, the Klement's racing Italian sausage, has been found.
The hot sausage reportedly was dropped off at TJ Ryan's bar in Cedarburg.
Two men - one wearing a hoodie pulled tight over his face - lugged the larger-than-life link into the bar just before 8 p.m. Wednesday, plopped him on a bar stool and warned staff, "You did not see anything," said bartender Jen Mohney.
Officials say they are not going to comment until they are through with their ongoing investigation, which we assume is after lunch.
---End of Update
The last anyone saw of the sausage character, it was carousing around the Cedarburg area, taking pictures with fans and granting the joy only a gigantic Italian sausage personified can.
Then things took a turn for the unfortunate.
The 7-foot-long weenie was lying unused in a backroom at the Milwaukee Curling Club's new Cedarburg location during a fundraiser on Feb. 16 with beer-tasting and curling, and a witness saw the sausage walk out of the south door about 7:45 p.m., Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz said Wednesday. The Italian walked into TJ Ryan's in Cedarburg an hour later and also made an appearance around midnight at The Roadhouse Bar and Grill.
Someone get Liam Neeson on the case, because I hear he is a man with certain skills who can solve such matters.
The costume, along with the Bratwurst, Polish Sausage, Hot Dog and Chorizo are property of Klement's and are available for rent.
However, merely taking them at will is apparently frowned upon.
It seems there is an audacious fan who spotted the costume and decided to take it for a joy ride. Well, their time is up and the authorities are ready to pounce on the evil genius who took the Klement's mascot.
Cedarburg police Detective Jeff Vahsholtz issued this stern warning to you thugs, "We thought it was funny at the time. Now we're just hoping someone returns it."
OK, it doesn't sound like there will be any road blocks thrown up anytime soon, because the report also issues there is debate whether there will be any charges levied.
Still, there is a tremendous reason to return the suit if you find it lying around, most likely with the aroma of beer and elated fans still stuck to it.
Mustard Girl All American Mustards has offered a year's supply of mustard to anyone who returns the Italian Sausage costume.
That's right. You will apparently get a full case of mustard a month, 12 bottles. Not sure what one does with that much mustard. Then again, not sure what one does with a seven-foot sausage costume once the thrill of the chase dies.
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