The Doctor's WWE Main Event/SmackDown Recap: Things We Learned, Loved and Hated

The Doctor Chris MuellerFeatured ColumnistFebruary 23, 2013

Picture by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)
Picture by Natasha Farley (Images property of WWE, BBC and Bleacher Report)

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to my weekly Main Event and SmackDown recap list. I always appreciate my loyal readers, but for those of you who are new, each week I recap SmackDown with a long list.
The entries are made up of equal parts observations, humor, recap, play-by-play, revelations, speculations, questions, answers and anything else I notice during the show. I sometimes comment on commercials, too, just because I get bored during them.
I try to interject some fun into these lists, so I hope you have fun reading this week's list of the things we learned, loved and hated from the show.


Main Event

1. Miz is back on commentary for tonight's show.
2. Cole and Miz go over some stills from Alberto Del Rio beating Big Show, and this brings out Big Show to complain about the announcers making him look bad.
3. Big Show always sounds like he has a loogie to hock up.
4. Show says nobody in the locker room has the guts to come out and laugh at him to his face.
5. The Usos come out to take his challenge.
6. The bell rings, which means Big Show has the right to make a match whenever he wants.
7. Both Usos get their butts handed to them by Show for a little while.
8. Big Show misses a Vader splash and The Usos try to double-suplex him.
9. They struggle back and forth a few times before The Usos finally hit it.
10. I know it took two of them, but that was impressive.
11. A double superkick to the jaw and a pair of diving headbutts get the Usos a two-count.
12. Big Show gets up and throws Jey over the top rope before turning Jimmy inside out with a shoulder tackle.
13. The Usos get double-chokeslammed to give Big Show the pin and the win.
14. Brodus Clay's music hits right away and he comes out solo looking like he means business.
15. Clay looks like he has dropped a few pounds.
16. The two lock up and Show shoves Clay off.
17. They lock up again and this time Clay shoves Show.
18. Show calls for a test of strength, but he takes a cheap shot instead.
19. Clay hits a series of body shots to get Show in the corner.
20. As we head to commercial, I cannot help but think that this is a segment that would have done well on Raw or SmackDown.
21. Show looks like a monster right now, and this is how he should be looking to an audience larger than Main Event will get.
22. There is something I wonder about sometimes. If Big Show had gotten into MMA instead of pro wrestling, he might have been unstoppable.
23. His conditioning was much better when he first came to WCW. Imagine that athlete in the octagon at his prime.
24. We return from break to see Show just absolutely owning Clay.
25. He talks plenty of trash about making the people laugh as he beats on him.
26. Clay is selling this like he is getting the beating of his life.
27. Clay manages to break free of a hammerlock and he starts to build a head of steam, until he runs into a side kick from Big Show.
28. Show misses an elbow and Clay hits his finisher, but Show kicks out at two.
29. Clay runs right into a KO punch from Show for the pin and the win.
30. Khali's music hits, and it looks like Big Show is running a gauntlet.
31. I hope Show just punches him as he's on the apron and ends this.
32. No such luck.
33. Khali hits a few chops, which is really his only form of offense these days.
34. We head to a break, and Show is taking a break outside the ring after Khali knocked him down with a clothesline.
35. What I originally liked about this segment is starting to fade.
36. Show should have knocked out Khali with one shot. That would have made him look intimidating without the match we are seeing slowing things down.
37. After the break, we see Show hit a huge spear to take Khali down.
38. Khali hits a chop to the skull and Show bails again.
39. Khali follows and throws Show into the steel steps.
40. Big Show does what he should have done in the first place. He knocks Khali out while he is trying to get into the ring.
41. Khali gets counted out and Show wins three in a row.
42. Miz stands up and says he is going to make the show "must see."
43. Miz rushes the ring and start taking it to Show with punches and kicks.
44. He takes Show down with a dropkick to the knee and then he hits four running boots to keep him down.
45. Show rolls out of the ring, and when he tries to get back in he gets dropkicked from the apron by Miz.
46. Show bails for good and Miz stands tall in the ring.
47. It's easy to look awesome when you are someone's fifth opponent.

48. We get a replay of The Rock unveiling the new WWE title.
49. I am still undecided on the new title.
50. We also see Mr. McMahon challenge Paul Heyman to a fight for next week.
51. Also, who does Brad Maddox have dirt on? I figure blackmail is the only way he gets featured this much.
52. Matt Striker and Maddox talk about his new role in WWE.
53. As they show the crowd watching this on the big screen, my eyes immediately get drawn to a guy wearing a Duck Dynasty shirt. I don't know why.
54. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter are shown talking about immigrants.
55. Too bad about Swagger getting in a little trouble recently. I wonder if it will kill this gimmick.

56. Justin Gabriel is shown talking to Striker about a match with Titus O'Neil.
57. I love how Titus gets pissed when Striker won't do the "millions of dollars" dance with him.
58. Gabriel makes his entrance for the match looking more and more like a 2005 Posh Spice.
59. Seriously, what's with the haircut?
60. Titus comes out after the break.
61. I think this guy is going to break out of PTP soon.
62. I hope they stay together for at least one title run, but Titus is streets ahead of Darren Young in a lot of ways.
63. Gabriel and Titus both get in some good offense in this match.
64. Titus and some fan at ringside have some words with each other as Titus beats on Gabriel.
65. Gabriel avoids a shoulder block in the corner and Titus hits the corner harder than I have ever seen.
66. The way he snapped back to the mat looked ridiculous.
67. Gabriel ends up hitting the 450 for the pin and the win.
68. I like matches like that. These guys weren't in a feud, and they probably won't be following this match. It was just two guys doing a good job in the ring.
69. Every once in a while, it is nice to get a break from all the storyline drama with a good ol' fashion fight.
70. On an unrelated note, congrats to Miz and Maryse on getting engaged.

71. Since last week's inclusion of Chuck Norris fighting a bear seemed to make some people happy, I decided to include his top 10 moments as picked by Pay special attention to No. 9.


72. The show opens with a recap of Elimination Chamber results.
73. Ricardo Rodriguez kicks off the show by bringing out Alberto Del Rio.
74. Del Rio addresses Swagger and Colter's promo about immigrants from Monday.
75. Del Rio's go-to insult is to call someone a jackass.
76. Instead of Swagger coming out, Randy Orton makes his way to the ring.
77. Orton says Swagger stole the win from him at EC.
78. Orton says he wants to face Swagger tonight, and this brings out Booker T to do his usual "Let's make a match" speech.
79. Book makes Del Rio vs. Wade Barrett and Jack Swagger vs. Randy Orton.
80. After the break, we get Damien Sandow vs. Sheamus.
81. These two usually put on a good match together, but I would like to see Sandow win once, even if it is was a dirty win.
82. Sandow and Sheamus have a very physical fight. Lots of strikes with very little actual wrestling.
83. After the break, we see Sandow in control of the match.
84. Sandow is someone who has not even come close to tapping into his full potential yet.
85. Sheamus comes back with a head of steam and hits some signature offense, but Sandow gets a boot up in the corner and he takes back control of the match.
86. Both men counter each other several times before Sheamus hits White Noise.
87. The match ends with Sheamus hitting the Brogue Kick for the pin and the win.
88. That was a very fun match. Both guys looked very tough and Sandow really looked like he belongs in the ring with main-event stars.

89. I am getting really tired of these Fandango promos.
90. After a cool video package showing The Shield's recent wins, we get a Divas tag team match.
91. Good. I had to go to the bathroom anyway.
92. We see a video of Cody Rhodes and Kaitlyn flirting a little backstage. She likes his mustache.
93. Layla and Kaitlyn are facing Aksana and Tamina.
94. Layla and Aksana have a little dance-off to kick things off.
95. Layla won.
96. I think the state of the Divas division is illustrated by the fact that these are the top four women right now.
97. Layla and Kaitlyn get the win.
98. I don't mean to take anything away from any of these women. All four of them are very athletic and have loads of talent, but the Divas division is in shambles at the moment.
99. Maybe if WWE didn't take two of their best in-ring workers and pair them with male superstars, we wouldn't be in this mess.
100. As we re-watch Rocky unveil the new title, I cannot help but notice that there is no nameplate on the center piece, which could be explained by the custom side plates.
101. How symbolic that John Cena was knocked out with the title he introduced on the night it was retired.
102. Maybe Hacksaw Jim Duggan will find it in a trash can and start defending it.

103. Wade Barrett is shown complimenting Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter.
104. Colter says Barrett is just as much a part of the problem as Del Rio.
105. For anyone who is curious as to what that seemingly meaningless segment accomplished, it covered WWE's ass, is what it did. Now Swagger and Colter aren't racists, since they hate all immigrants.
106. It is a brilliant move by WWE to make sure they have an explanation when questioned about the gimmick.
107. Ball's in your court now, Glenn Beck.
108. And why is nobody bringing up the fact that JBL once tried to actually physically send people back to Mexico as a heel? Since the video isn't on YouTube, here is a link to it on DailyMotion.

109. Jack Swagger and Zeb Colter come out after the break.
110. I like Swagger's new music more every time I hear it.
111. It's like his own personal Darth Vader music.
112. Swagger and Orton have a pretty standard match before the break. Nothing special to note.
113. Orton is in control when we return, until Swagger throws him into the steel steps.
114. The ref waited forever to start counting them out.
115. Why would JBL not know Smurfs are blue?
116. Swagger gets run into the steel post and it looks like Orton is heating up.
117. Swagger hits Orton with a thumb to the eye and then rolls him up for the upset win.

118. After a brief interaction between Wade Barrett and Sheamus, we get Miz out for a match with Cody Rhodes.
119. Rhodes is now calling his mustache a love-stache.
120. Is he trying to act like a '70s porn star or is it just happening naturally?
121. Cody is one step ahead of Miz in the early going after ripping him from the top rope and pulling his arm down across the top rope.
122. Rhodes puts Miz in a very unique submission that puts pressure on Miz's hand, wrist, elbow and shoulder all at once.
123. Miz ends up hitting a boot to the face for a quick near fall and some breathing room.
124. Miz counters an Alabama Slam into a passable Figure Four Leglock for the submission win.
125. After the match, we get the immigration video from Swagger and Colter.
126. They have posted a few more. Here is one where they call out Glenn Beck.

127. I think it's great that WWE made a video like this to defend themselves using their most controversial character. It's edgy and still PG.
128. Two Fandango promos in one night. If WWE is trying to make me hate this guy before he debuts, then mission accomplished.
129. Wade Barrett is out for the main event after the break.
130. After ADR comes out, Jack Swagger's music hits and he makes his way out to the ramp with Zeb Colter.
131. Del Rio and Barrett go back and forth until Del Rio hits a hard kick to Barrett's back and he has to go outside the ring to recover.
132. Del Rio catches Barrett with a kick when he goes for Ricky after making fun of him.
133. I have been curious about something. What's with the bucket?
134. I bet Colter is pissed that the main event features two immigrants.
135. Del Rio gets his dome slammed into the steel steps and then his shoulder whipped into the other set of steps.
136. Barrett's back kick hits Del Rio square in the bread basket and he follows up with a pumphandle slam for a two-count.
137. Barrett hits a trio of elbow drops for a two-count.
138. This match has been pretty good so far.
139. This would be a fresh feud after WrestleMania, and both men could pull it off.
140. Del Rio hitting Barrett with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker was impressive. Barrett is a big dude.
141. Del Rio hits a running sidekick for a close near fall.
142. Line of the night from JBL: "Never fight an ugly guy, he has nothing to lose."
143. Barrett hits an awesome-looking Winds of Change out of nowhere for a two-count.
144. Del Rio answers back with a back stabber.
145. Everyone is stealing someone else's finisher tonight.
146. As Del Rio goes for the Cross Armbreaker, he gets distracted by Swagger and almost gets rolled up for a pin.
147. JBL compares Barrett to Stan Hansen as he lines up for the Bull Hammer. That's a big compliment.
148. ADR avoids it and locks in the CAB for the submission and the win.
149. Swagger and Del Rio have a staredown to end the show.
150. There were a couple good matches, but tonight's show was the definition of average.
151. After the show, we get a special look at Chris Jericho's Robot Combat League.
152. This show is the first step towards the world becoming just like sci-fi movies.
153. I will leave you this week with a rarely seen clip of Chris Jericho and Steve Austin having a long back-and-forth after Raw went off the air back in 2003.


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