Does anybody else find it funny Mick Foley is wearing a Leopard print suit coat? Foley has never been one to dress up, but he’s always had a few loose screws anyway. Jeff Jarrett declined Mick Foley’s "offer" to come down to ringside and watch the match, so it’s going to be Sting and Sting only outside the ring.
Foley was standing outside the ring, and gets hit with a dropkick to the arena floor from Chris Sabin. For an encore, the Guns hit Foley with a double Suicide Drive right into the security rail. Just when things are starting to get good, they go to commercial.
You know what that is? It’s a marketing ploy. They know you’re going to want to see what happens next, so they force you to sit there and watch five minutes of boring commercials, just to see a few more minutes of their programming.
This time it wasn’t so bad as they showed a sneak peak of Seth Rogan’s new movie Observe & Report. Dozer will let them off the hook this time, but next time…they WILL feel the wrath of Dozer and The Assassins!
We come back from commercial to see Mick Foley punching Alex Shelley in the face. Then they throw Foley into the ring post shoulder first. Then Shelley lands a top-rope missile dropkick right on Mick Foley.
Outside the Ring, Sting hits a Scorpion Death Drop on Chris Sabin. Foley takes advantage and hits a Double Arm DDT and pulls out his sock and clamps on the Mandible Claw on Shelly.
When he pulled the sock out of his mouth, there was a little bit of blood on the sock. The referee tried to stop the match, but Mick Foley wouldn’t let him, saying that he wanted to bust somebody open. So the match continues.
Then Foley grabs the barbed wire baseball bat and starts to rake it across Alex Shelley’s face in the ropes. At that moment, Sting hits Foley in the face with a steel chair. Shelley fell down but covered up his face to hide the fact he was bleeding.
Mick Foley didn’t think to do anything like smart like that. The referee saw Foley was bleeding from the chair shot, and he called for the bell.
Foley lost the match, but it didn’t quite live up to Dozer’s standards and expectations. He’s not saying it wasn’t a good match, he just wanted more because he’s a greedy bastard and wants everything to go his way.
Winner: Motor City Machine Guns (Still IWGP Jr. Tag Team Champions)
This marks the premier edition of "The Assassination Following the Impact!"
Will there be more in the future? There you go again wondering about the future.
What will it take for all of you to quit worrying about the future?
Don’t you realize it won’t get you anywhere in life? Obviously you don’t or else you wouldn’t be asking Dozer if he’s going to be writing another edition of "The Assassination Following the Impact!" next week.
You’d be going over this edition over and over, admiring the skill and craft that makes up an article written by Dozer.
You saw the Impact!, now you’ve seen the ensuing assassination; that’s all you’re going to see at the present time.
~Dozer~ (The Present)
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