Imagining John Cena as a 1980's WWE Superstar

Travis TaylorFeatured ColumnistFebruary 20, 2013

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John Cena is a larger-than-life persona in the WWE. But his persona is so over the top, at times he is more superhero than wrestler.

With his looks, moves and entrance theme, he would fit perfectly as a 1980’s WWE Superstar.

The Cena WWE fans have grown to love (or hate) would have been an instant fan favorite with his current gimmick. For those too young to remember the WWE in the 1980s, it was a time of extreme cartoonish characters. It was also a very PG time, though it wasn’t labeled as this. Family fare was all the rage.

Wrestlers during that time, most of it referred to as the Rock ‘n Wrestling Era, were all non-threatening. Hulk Hogan was the ultimate hero, the great American. He told kids to train, say their prayers and take their vitamins. 

Other good guys included Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake, who had a penchant for cutting hair. Also Hillbilly Jim, the Junkyard Dog and The Killer Bees.

Rapper Cena wouldn’t have worked. Rap was in its infancy back then and not as popular as it is today. Sure, there was talent like LL Cool J, The Beastie Boys and Run DMC. But the style of rapper Cena portrayed early in his career didn’t start to emerge until NWA showed up in the late 1980s.

Cena could keep his current look and theme, Super Cena, only with the usual 1980s twist. Gone would be the jean shorts, replaced instead with acid wash jeans.

Cena hasn’t sported a gold chain since his thuganomics days. But in the 1980s, it would be a must. The 1980s were all about glitter. But unless he wanted to be a Mr. T clone, Cena would wear a flat gold chain that would fall on his collarbone.

He would also keep the sneakers, only this time they would be either Airwalk Prototype or Converse Star Tech.

But the perfect fit doesn’t stop there. Cena’s move set, roughly five different moves, is big and showy—perfect for the 1980s. The WWE during that time had a plethora of large men who would kick, punch, slam and throw.

Throw in an exciting rap song, non-threatening and performed by Cena himself, and the package is complete.

There would have been no boos for Cena back then. Wrestlers were meant to be over-the-top good guys or bad guys, unlike today. The good guys were so strong nothing the bad guys did could stop them, their moves would bounce off of them.

Good guys always won when it mattered the most. And Cena, either today or in the 1980s, is the ultimate good guy.