BREAKING NEWS!!

Manchester United have been knocked out of the UEFA Champions League after a 2-2 draw with FC Porto at Old Trafford on Tuesday Night. United have decided to abolish the second leg in Portugal, with Sir Alex quoted as saying:

"No one has ever gone there and won, so we've figured we may aswell just not bother. Although we are the Champions of England and Europe (only for the time being), it just will not happen with that record in place. Forget it."

United fans have already started making predictions on who will make the final, some claiming that Barcelona will face Arsenal. An outside bet is sure to be a Porto V Chelsea Final, however bets are suspended following this breaking news.

Support for United has been rather hard to come by, with Liverpool being crowned Premier League Champions (title No. 19) following their 1-4 win at Old Trafford.

With Ronaldo signing for Real Madrid, there is a renewed buzz around Manchester, however, this is coming from the blue side who have pipped the red half to signing Messi and Ribery for a combined fee of "two and a half Kaka's."*

Giggs is also set to retire post-season.

Oh my, who would have thought?

*One Kaka = One Hundred Million Euros.