The Nursery Rhymes Sports Fans Sing to Their Kids

Baa, Baa, Fed Weeps,
Have you any tissues?
Yes Rafa, yes Rafa,
Three packs from which to choose.

One for the Masters,
One for the Slams,
And one for the time when,
You win the calendar Slam!

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Cutler,

How I wonder, is your fur,

A Mile above the sea so high,

Like a bullet, your throws used to fly,

Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Cutler,

How I wonder, is your fur.

PS: For those who didn't get the fur bit, he's now a 'Bear' and bears have fur, of course.

1, 2, Boys in blue

3, 4, Rack up the score

5, 6, Zizou's in a fix

7, 8, Pass it straight

9, 10, Domenech's old men!!!

The Itsy Bitsy Diffuser,

Climbed up the Brawn GP car,

Down came the rain,

And Brawn was ahead by far,

Out came the sun,

And Kimi crashed his Ferrari,

So the Itsy Bitsy Diffuser,

Re-climbed the Brawn car in a hurry.

Humpty Bayern, sat at the top,

Humpty Bayern, then turned in a flop,

All the Kaiser's choices,

And all of Klinsmann,

Couldn't take Bayern to the top again.

These blind batsmen. These blind batsmen,

See how they run. See how they run.

They all run without hearing the call.

They keep napping and watching the ball.

Funniest way to lose their wicket of all.

For these blind batsmen.

Stamford Bridge is falling down,
Falling down, falling down,
Stamford Bridge is falling down,
My dear Roman.

Build it up with "Special" Jose,
Special Jose, special Jose,
Build it up with "Special" Jose,
My dear Roman.

Special Jose will run away,
Run away, run away,
Special Jose will run away,
My dear Roman.

Build it up with Luiz Scolari,
Luiz Scolari, Luiz Scolari,
Build it up with Luiz Scolari,
My dear Roman.

Luiz Scolari will bend and bow
Bend and bow, bend and bow
Luiz Scolari will bend and bow
My dear Roman.

Build it up with Mr. Guus,
Mr. Guus, Mr. Guus
Build it up with Mr. Guus,
My dear Roman.

Mr. Guus will be stolen away,
Stolen away, stolen away,
Mr. Guus will be stolen away,
My dear Roman.

Barry had a little 'roid,
Little 'roid, little 'roid,
Barry had a little 'roid,
It juiced him up, ready to go.

And every time that Barry hit,
Barry hit, Barry hit,
Every time that Barry hit.
The ball disappeared up the rows.

It took him over to court one day,
Court one day, court one day,
It took him over to court one day,
As home-run king, he still rules.