Complete Guide to NBA All-Star Weekend Prop Bets
No sports mega-event is complete without a plethora of wagers for all of us degenerate gamblers to lose our money on, which means an endless stream of prop bets for the NBA's All-Star Weekend.
Sure, you can go anywhere and bet on who is going to make the most money balls during the Three-Point Contest, or which guy or gal in the Shooting Stars Competition makes the first half-court shot, but sometimes that gets a bit dull, doesn't it?
Maybe you're like me and want to throw a few bucks down on who will have the best chance at embarrassing themselves this weekend, or who is going to be the most annoying person all weekend long?
Well then, my friends, you're in luck. I've gone out of my way to throw together a beautiful list of brand new prop bets for you to throw down with your friends.
It's going to be a fun weekend now that we got the more ridiculous events out of the way, so get ready for it with a bit of a look at what to expect with these props.
Odds for Most Annoying Presence at All-Star Weekend
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For whatever reason, stars know that cameras are going to be rolling nonstop for the entirety of the weekend, giving people plenty of time to make fools of themselves.
It's become a bit of a tradition of sorts to make it to the All-Star Game on Sunday night and be completely fed up with a particular person's presence.
This year's names shouldn't be a surprise.
Kevin Hart: 2/1
Kenny Smith: 5/1
Shaquiile O'Neal: 8/1
Tim Duncan: 10000/1
Kevin Hart was last year's Celebrity Game MVP, and the most annoying person of the weekend, as he continually showed up throughout the weekend screeching out some pseudo-comedy here and there but mostly just annoying the pants off viewers.
Meanwhile, Kenny Smith is capable of shouting his way through the Slam Dunk Contest to the point that I never want to hear his voice again, while Shaq seems to be a moody dude who can turn into annoying Shaq at any moment.
In a year-old tradition, however, Tim Duncan has the long odds of the weekend. It's more likely that we don't even realize he's there.
Over/Under Number of Dunk Contest "50s": 3.5
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It's been over a decade since there were six players in the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, when Desmond Mason won it back in 2001, and there were a grand total of zero perfect "50" scores in that particular contest.
There were five the year before that.
Really, there's no way of telling how the contest is going to shake out beforehand, so the best way to really judge it is to keep the number low and hope for the fireworks.
Of course, the final round is going to be a fan vote, as is the new normal, but with three dunks apiece in the first round, there's a very good chance of a few 50s being tossed out.
Over/Under Number of Times Dikembe Mutombo Is Shown Laughing: 17.5
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After watching the NBA's Celebrity Game on Friday night, one thing is very evident: we're going to see a lot of Dikembe Mutombo.
Whether it was a lull in the action, the necessity of a reaction shot from Kevin Hart doing something annoying or just because it's just been more than five minutes since we last saw him, Mutombo was constantly on camera.
A conservative estimate would say that nine times out of ten, Dikembe had an ear-to-ear smile and was completely hamming for the camera.
I'm not sure if it's that he knows how much the world loves him and just wants to show his appreciation or that he's just the largest, happiest man in the world, but he's constantly got a grin on that mug of his.
He'll be a judge at Saturday night's Slam Dunk Contest, so he's got another chance to be caught on camera with a smile strapped across his face.
Over/Under Number of People Who Care About the Shooting Stars Competition: 12.5
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Every time I watch the Shooting Stars Competition, I always find it to be a fine filler of time before the Skills Competition really kicks off All-Star Saturday Night.
It would be best replaced by a properly done game of HORSE or a few one-on-one matches between current or former players, but it's not a terrible competition.
That being said, I don't care about who wins, and neither do you.
The only people who care about the outcome are the guys actually playing in the thing, and even then they might only be half into it.
This has turned into a competition that could easily be done before the cameras turn on to entertain the crowd as they settle into their seats.
Odds on the Guy We're Happiest to See
Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports
Dikembe Mutombo: 3/1
Yao Ming: 4/1
Muggsy Bogues: 5/1
David Stern: 193,203,283/1
There are a few former NBA players showing up on Saturday night that will give us all a warm, fuzzy feeling when they show up on camera.
Of course, Dikembe Mutombo has already made his presence felt, showing up at the NBA Celebrity Game on Friday night, but he's also ready to be a judge in the Foot Locker Slam Dunk Contest.
However, he's joined by former teammate and fellow enormous human being Yao Ming as a judge in the contest. Yao is a guy that people always dig seeing, if only because he is such an incredibly large man.
On the other end of the spectrum sits Muggsy Bogues, the only person that's got me interested in the Sears Shooting Stars Competition.
There's something about seeing the teeny tiny dude ambling around the court that always brings a smile to my face. Look out for Muggsy as the dark horse in this bad boy.
Odds of What the Dunk Contest Will Be After Saturday Night
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Every year, we get a narrative following the Foot Locker Slam Dunk Contest that declares that it's either back from the depths that it's now crawled out of or a dead format that needs a serious face-lift if it's going to hang around for the future.
The most interesting thing over the past four years is that it's been alternating between being "back" and "dead", all depending on the outcome.
So what will it be this year?
"Shut Up": 5/1
With the guys in the competition this season, I've got to say it's more likely that it's back, as opposed to dead.
However, it's also received an incredible amount of hype after last season's stinker.
I may just put a buck or two down on the long-shot, however.
It's about time that we turn on the notion altogether.
We should take the dunk contest for what it is and decide not to create a narrative for the future of the competition because of what happened over the span of a few dozen dunks.
Odds for Biggest Saturday Night Embarrassment
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This is easily my favorite award of the year to give out, as it doesn't always need giving out: the semi-annual "Chris Andersen Award".
If you recall, Andersen tried the same dunk roughly 184 times back in 2005, permanently enshrining himself in the Embarrassing Sports Hall of Fame and slapping his name on this award.
Last year, the Dunk Contest as a whole won the embarrassment of Saturday night.
But in 2011, there was no discernible winner, so be careful throwing money around on this one.
The Field: 2/1
James White: 7/1
Jeremy Evans: 10/1
Matt Bonner: 20/1
There's no real favorite this year, so the field has to be standing out above everyone else.
However, James White has received an insane amount of hype, and if he fails to deliver, he could end up completely embarrassed.
Returning champion Jeremy Evans has a chance based solely on the fact that he could easily end up dead last in the competition, and Matt Bonner is just goofy in general.
He's completely capable of doing something like falling down during the Taco Bell Three-Point Contest.
Odds for Weekend's Biggest Complaint
Every year, we have to find something to moan about, even though the NBA's All-Star Weekend is one of the coolest, most unique sporting events of the year.
Lately, we've settled on a favorite (and completely legitimate) thing to vote on. Fans are idiots, and they shouldn't be picking the winner of the Slam Dunk Competition.
Fan Voting: 3/2
East-West Split: 6/1
Chris Bosh Starting: 10/1
However, there are a few new contenders to the field.
The Eastern-Western Conference split means that the two best performers might not face each other in their respective competitions.
For all three competitions, we'll get a stellar first round, but the finals will pit the top performer from the Eastern Conference against the top from the Western Conference.
Of course, there's also the possibility of complaining about Chris Bosh getting the starting nod for the Eastern Conference All-Star Team, thanks to Erik Spoelstra's blatant nepotism.
"Star of the Weekend" Odds
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In general, we walk away from a weekend thinking, "Man, _______ owned that weekend."
It could be a story line, a duo or a guy who just had a huge weekend.
Last year, it was the narrative between LeBron James and Kevin Durant.
2011 was Blake Griffin for winning the Slam Dunk Contest (whether we like it or not).
In 2009, it was the Kobe-Shaq reunion, and perhaps most memorable, 2000 was Vince Carter, for his heart-stopping performance on Saturday night.
This year we've got a long list.
LeBron James: 5/2
Kyrie Irving: 4/1
Kobe Bryant: 6/1
Kevin Durant: 10/1
Paul George: 15/1
James White: 30/1
LeBron's got the chance to take his momentum coming into the All-Star Break and extending it, Kyrie Irving could perform well three nights in a row, Kobe Bryant could win his fourth All-Star Game MVP Award and Kevin Durant could do Kevin Durant things.
Outside shots go to Paul George, who is in the Three-Point Competition and the All-Star Game, and the Internet sensation James White, who many think has a chance at having a Carter-esque Slam Dunk Contest.