Fish Fell from Sky at Nationals Spring Training, Scaring Denard Span
For the Washington Nationals, spring training is all about getting in some hacks, throwing some long toss and clearing a fish off the field.
The Washington Post reports on one of the more peculiar events from the early goings at Nationals Spring Training from Viera, Fla.
It seems a bird lost its lunch for just long enough to interrupt practice. You see, a fish fell from the sky, giving us a great opportunity to find out some things regarding the Nationals' Denard Span.
For example, he hates birds and fish.
We will let Span describe the event of a fish raining down from above in his own words.
As it came closer we could tell it was a fish, or some type of animal from the water. And then he dropped it. And that’s when everyone huddled around the fish and started looking up and it was entertaining. Entertaining for Viera.
Yes, we are sure they will be talking about this one for years around the small community. Well, the bird started acting like John Kruk after he drops a fry on the ground, circling around and looking for its lunch.
That’s another reason why I was kind of squealing a little bit. I kept thinking, that’s his dinner. That’s his food. As I was looking down at the fish, I didn’t want him to think that I was trying to take his dinner and have the bird come from behind me or come from the sky and try to attack me. I kept my head on a swivel and made sure the bird didn’t catch me slipping.
I would like Span to describe every event in the history of the world. We could sell audio recordings on his descriptions of the most mundane events, because he is amazing at making them sound remarkable.
I’ve never seen that on a baseball field. I’ve seen it on T.V., you know, bird carrying their dinner. I’ll tell you what, that bird definitely didn’t have good hands. He dropped his dinner.
I’m from Florida, but I’ve been fishing maybe twice in my life. I’m scared of fish, scared of birds. The only thing I’m not scared of is probably, like, an ant or something like that. I don’t know what it is. I don’t like to get my hands dirty, other than clay and dirt.
Don't bring your wildlife around this ballplayer, because the man gets uneasy around fish and birds. I am sure he is just fine with Marlins, because they are relatively harmless.
If you are wondering how this sudden fish quandary was solved, manly man Ian Desmond threw the fish over the fence where the bird is presumed to have eaten it.
In case you are wondering, this is not the first time an animal fell randomly from the sky. You might recall back in October of last year when a live shark fell from the sky at a California golf course.
In that instance, the working theory was a bird picked it up and dropped it off on the course. So we can blame lazy birds who keep leaving their damn lunch everywhere.
All I know is there is no way this bird was a swallow, because those things can't even transport a one-pound coconut.
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