So Wayne Rooney is a freckled Mancunian devil, is he? And all his fans are noisy beer drinkers ready to crash through the gates into the Bernabeu, eh?
OK, so that last part might be true. But Spanish newspaper Marca certainly raised eyebrows with its, er, unusual characterization of Rooney ahead of Manchester United's trip to Real Madrid on Wednesday night.
That story leads this Wednesday edition of the B/R World Football Gossip Roundup. Inside, we also have stories on Jose Mourinho's next job, Joan Laporta's recent dealings in England and a young Argentine striker who's becoming a hot commodity in Italy.
Read on for all the details.