The Five Worst Jobs in MMA
Mixed Martial Arts is filled with glamorous positions. From announcers to fighters, matchmakers to presidents, the list goes on.
But what about the other jobs, the ones that you would have to be crazy to take?
I've compiled a list of what I think are the five worst jobs in MMA. Think I missed some? Post them in the comments section, I would love to see what everyone comes up with.
Kimbo Slice's Chest Hair Groomer
I remember watching Kimbo Slice walking down the aisle to the ring and noticing something odd. No, it wasn't that he was headlining a card that would become one of the most watched MMA events of all time.
Some fighters have tattoos, others have dyed hair, but to my memory, Kimbo is the first fighter to have his chest hair groomed.
I just hope that whoever was forced to take a lawnmower to his chest was wearing protective gloves and goggles at the time.
At least Kimbo hasn't fought lately, giving that poor sap some well earned time to wash their hands over and over again.
Owner of the Ultimate Fighter House
By now we all come to expect that twice a year, 16 fighters will live in a house, train, fight, and after about four weeks, destroy everything they can get their hands on.
It's common practice in reality television to rent the houses used on television. Owners probably expect some damage, but nothing like the hurricane that usually rips through the entire property (pool included).
After nine seasons, you know what to expect.
But you have to feel bad for the poor dope whose house was used is Season One. Nothing like watching Chris Leben put his head through your wall!
On the surface, being the president of an MMA promotion is a pretty sweet gig. That is, unless the promotion is EliteXC, and you throw your promoting behind a guy who shaves half his chest (see: Kimbo Slice).
Jared had his share of memorable moments as EliteXC President. From ridiculous quotes about his place in the sport, to screaming in terror on camera as his poster boy was beat in under 40 seconds.
Considering that his job requirements today are bankruptcy court appearances and trying to convince anyone who will listen that he's not the reason the company folded, would you take his job? Didn't think so.
The Producer in Charge of "Bleeping" Dana White
I'm positive that the UFC has hired somebody solely for this responsibility: Wherever Dana goes, a steady stream of "F-bombs" will follow.
The famous "do you want to be a f*cking fighter" speech from Season One of the Ultimate Fighter was just a warm-up for things to come.
The only reason that the UFC even let Dana's blog rant about Loretta Hunt go through unedited is because his "bleep" man was getting treated for carpal tunnel syndrome.
Anderson Silva's Next Opponent
He is unbeaten in the UFC.
He moved up in weight class, and knocked out his opponent in under one minute.
Only one fighter has made it into the third round with him, and that fighter was so surprised that he tripped and blew out his knee.
If you look up 'Thai Clinch' in the dictionary, there are pictures of Rich Franklin's shattered Middleweight career.
Bottom line, if you fight Anderson Silva, you are going to lose.
And worse, it's probably going to hurt a lot.