I’m just a cranky jerk who hates fun, basketball and the whole college experience!
Let’s all form a posse and round up all the college students who want to enjoy a victory and put them in camps with straight jackets on so they can’t even hi-five!
All of that couldn’t be further from the truth—I love a good court rush. Hell, I’ve taken a tumble down a stairwell during a court storming and still hobbled out onto the hardwood to freak it out.
Why? Because court storming is (bleep)ing awesome.
But not all storms are created equal, and some make you want to apply a palm to your face and cry “No! Not in this situation! NOW IS NOT THE TIME! Think of the children!!”
The following are some of the most illogical and uncalled for court rushes we’ve seen.
I only ask that you take a moment to prepare yourself. Because we're about to get way too caught up in the moment.
Why So Terrible?: Miami is not a great basketball team. And no, the Duke game is not compelling evidence to suggest otherwise.
If they had beat The U in football, feel free—run the field all day. Hell, set up camp and roast marshmallows on the 50 yard line.
A small school beating a historic program deserves that.
But beating a then-unranked University of Miami in basketball is not a rush-able event for any Division I program.
Why So Terrible?: Extremely pre-planned and forced. Not even enough people to fill up 75 percent of the court.
Colorado State beating fellow Mountain West member San Diego State might’ve been a big deal for a group of the fans, but what took so long for this rush?
The players are already halfway through the post-game handshake line by the time the first guy jogs out onto the court.
I’m not a big fan of the premeditated court rush (rushing the court when the game has been decided for some time), but if you’re going to do it, commit quick and get out there fast.
Why So Terrible?: Poor fan behavior on the court.
If you beat the No. 1 team in the country and you’re unranked, feel free to rush the court. Be my guest.
But if you spit on one of your opponent’s players, as OSU’s Jared Sullinger claims Wisconsin fans did to him, you’re ruining the rush and making your whole school look like classless punks.
Why So Terrible?: Decent basketball program wins by 15 at home and still can’t help but rush the floor.
Here’s a simple question you can ask yourself if you’re trying to decide whether or not you should rush the court:
“Will we knock this team out of the top 25 if we win this game?”
If the answer is “most likely,” you’re best staying put.
Why So Terrible?: Storming after beating a team they should have been favored to win.
Sure, no one knew how far the Wildcats would fall this season, and when this game was played they had only lost to Duke.
But Notre Dame has been quietly developing a strong basketball program in South Bend, and are no strangers to being in the AP’s Top 25.
Also, Purcell Pavilion isn’t an easy place to play for visiting teams, and Notre Dame’s basketball program has consistently been able to defend its home court against good opponents over the past few years.
That being said, look closely at the video and you’ll see the main reason this court rushing went down in the first place—it was being led by an over-excitable Manti Te’o.
Why So Terrible?: Joins the Big 10. Rushes court against NC State. And somewhere, Juan Dixon sheds a single tear.
I understand they were unranked, but Maryland's program has won a national championship in the last 10 years and is now making the step into the big leagues.
This means that wins against No. 14 NC State (granted, a team certainly on the up-and-up in college basketball) need to end in a clean, fanless floor.
Why So Terrible?: Fans not being able to differentiate high rankings to low rankings.
Sometimes fans assume if their team isn’t ranked and their opponent is, a victory means a court rush.
The University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee is not a “small” school—they have an enrollment of nearly 30,000 students.
And while Butler is becoming a basketball force, this 2009 court storming was just ridiculous. And if you listen to the video, you can hear a UWM fan joking about the overreaction, saying “Did we just win a national championship?”
Why So Terrible?: Acting like the last second shot could’ve counted for five points.
Not only did Michigan fans rush the court for beating the 15th ranked team at home, they quieted down for their opponents’ last shot as if it would decide the game.
What did you think was going to happen?
Why So Terrible?: A historically strong program defeats a team barely in the top 20 and fans barely manage a few “woohs” as they take center court.
Fans really can let a number next to an opponents’ name go to their head during a game.
Wake Forest fans flooded en masse onto the hardwood after the Demon Deacons defeated No.18 North Carolina State this January.
It was a solid conference win to be sure. But why are fans of a perennially solid Wake Forest program treating a win over middle-ranked NC State like a victory over a No. 1 Duke team?
Why So Terrible?: Rushing the floor after beating another ranked team on your home floor.
It was an exciting way to end a game—you can’t take that away from Butler.
But the Bulldogs were ranked 13th in the nation and playing on their home court when they defeated No. 8 Gonzaga.
Butler fans may be new to being this far up the totem pole, but they need to use victories such as this one to help them recalibrate their expectations to match their team’s ability.
Why So Terrible?: The fans of a No. 15 ranked blueblood program rush the court on a non last-second victory over their most bitter rival.
There is nothing in this world that a Tarheel enjoys more thoroughly than beating Duke to win the ACC regular-season conference title.
That’s like PCP for those fans.
But you can’t show it! Beating Duke is nothing to you, right? Don’t let them know!
Warning: Video is NSFW due to language.
Why So Terrible?: Blueblood fans rushing against an overrated, Bruce Weber-coached Illini squad.
I’ve been an IU basketball fan since I could stand and understand abstract concepts like “sports” and “team.” I also attended the school for the worst four year stretch in the program’s 113 year history. And I wasn't alive to see IU’s national championship winning glory days.
In short, I know what IU went through over the past five years.
But this still makes my stomach churn.
Squeaking out a game against Bruce Weber and the Fighting Illini is no cause for celebration, but it wasn't the worst court rush IU students have pulled in Assembly Hall during the program's rebuilding.
Why So Terrible?: Where do I start?
San Diego State defeated St. Mary’s College in a QUARTERFINAL ROUND OF THE NIT and the fans rushed the court and began throwing around apples.
First off, let’s start with the obvious—SDSU was playing in the NIT, meaning their season didn’t exactly pan out too well.
Secondly, they just beat a school whose name ends in “college.” That’s against one of the cardinal rules of court rushing.
Lastly, they didn’t even win the whole NIT (consolation prize) tournament. They couldn’t even say they were the best of the mediocre after this win.
Why So Terrible?: The fans of a blueblood program rushing the court against an unranked Minnesota squad.
Remember when I was talking about the worst court storming in IU history? Well, this was it. It was so inconsequential a win I can't even find video for it.
But rest assured, IU students storming the court after beating unranked Minnesota was one of the most conflictingly good and awful experiences of my college career. And that's including that one time with the identical Swedish twins and the chest wax.
Luckily, the program has turned the corner and we'll hopefully never have to see something like this again.
Why So Terrible?: Fans of the most storied basketball program in history half-rushed the court over a mediocre win.
An exciting buzzbeater in 2010 almost caused what would've been one of the worst happenings in the history of basketball to occur.
UCLA’s Mustafa Abdul Hamid nailed a last second three-pointer against the University of Washington, prompting a surge of fans towards the floor.Luckily for UCLA, event security pushed them back and kept the fans off the court.
I like to think the security workers were acting more as guardians of the school’s rich basketball heritage.
They knew damn well that what they were doing when they prevented a court rush after a victory against an unranked, NIT-bound team like Washington, who hadn’t even won a single game on the road
Security knew if the fans made it out to center court, John Wooden (who was still alive at this point) would’ve keeled over on the spot.
If you made it through this much of my judgmental grumpiness, you deserve to see a cute kid rushing the court all by himself.
This is just awesome.