20 Incredibly Annoying Pictures of Athletes
A world without athletes who tweet, Instagram and WhoSay would be a tragic world indeed. It’s important to put that disclaimer out there before continuing.
Instagram and Twitter often bring us unprecedented joy, but some athletes are a little too into the art of documenting their lives via social media. They’re the equivalent of that one Facebook friend who regales you with hourly updates about her latest master cleanse, because Lord knows we all care.
In the cases of some athletes, we’re grateful for their obsessive need to keep their photography skills fresh. In the cases of others, we just want to bury their phones in the same dumpster where Ray Lewis’ white suit lives.
It’s still fun to make fun of them, though, so here are some of the most entertainingly embarrassing athlete photos shared of late.
Ryan Lochte's Film Review Session
Ryan Lochte is always a good place to start when debating the topic of douchey tweets and photos, and this one is no exception.
The whole "jeah" thing is enough of a problem in itself, but using it as a hashtag to accompany a self-portrait of himself preparing for a film session in what appears to be an empty conference room is another.
Does anyone need to see this? Is anyone interested in this? It would be a different case if someone else had captured the image of Lochte actually looking, I don't know, invested in his film session. But him standing there smiling like a goon while the dude running the film session stands there in the background looking half-bored, half-crazy is just a wee bit embarrassing.
Shannon Sharpe's Rings
Oh, Shannon Sharpe. The only man willing to sit there and go with it as Ray Lewis claims that the families of murder victims don't understand God like he does.
Sharpe also has no problem flaunting his goods for the whole world to see and then posting them to the Web with one of the most eye roll-inducing captions in the history of man.
Last week, while prepping for the Super Bowl, Sharpe—now a CBS commentator—took a photo of himself wearing two of his Super Bowl rings from his trips to the big game with Baltimore and Denver, accompanied by this gem of a caption:
I like the freedom that money provides, but I love the respect these command.
Respect. Exactly. That's what I'm feeling as I read that.
Lolo Jones at the White House
There weren't too many people who were into Lolo Jones this summer, pre- or post-Olympics.
Before the London Games kicked off, there were those complaining that she was drawing too much attention to herself because of the whole chastity thing when instead, she should have been focusing on the mission at hand, which was to win a gold medal.
Then, after the Olympics, everyone ragged on her for failing to win the gold, even after all the hype that followed her to London. And she blamed it on the media! Oh, Lolo. You're funny.
Here, we have Lolo at the White House, pretending to embark on a sprint across the lawn. Which would be funny if she actually succeeded as an Olympic athlete, but because she didn't, it's just sort of desperate and attention-seeking.
But then again, why else are athletes on Instagram?
Tom Brady on the Water Slide
Tom Brady just can't say no. That has to be the case, because it's the only way to justify all of the photography mistakes he's been involved in throughout the course of his career.
And then there's this.
Make no mistake: When you are an NFL quarterback, the one thing you don't want is to be caught looking like a ginormous wimp, and that's precisely what happened to the three-time Super Bowl champ when he came face to face with a water slide a couple of years ago. Not a roller coaster, not a cage full of hungry tigers, not a charging Bernard Pollard. A water slide.
Kind of makes it harder to take him seriously when he's trying to go all alpha male on the sideline during a game.
T.O. Gives ESPN a Try
Poor T.O. He's had a rough go of it lately, and he can't seem to catch a break.
Terrell Owens couldn't turn a Seahawks tryout into a permanent roster spot earlier this year, and after his bid to get back into the league failed, he had no choice but to explore other avenues—including ESPN.
But instead of stepping into the booth to embark upon some analysis, a la Michael Irvin or Deion Sanders, he got relegated to bowling coverage. That's like being The X-Factor's social media correspondent, except a zillion notches further down on the ladder.
In this photo, we see T.O. trying to look all cool and professional while holding the ESPN mic—but the only problem is, he's in a bowling alley and he's wearing that really sad shirt.
You have to take what you can get, I guess. Just try not to brag about it on Twitter.
David Freese's and Lance Berkman's 'Awesome' Suits
The St. Louis Cardinals may not have reached the pinnacle in 2012, but that doesn't mean that the players were going to sit at home crying about it.
Instead, they were going to head to L.A. wearing ridiculous suits and making fools of themselves.
There is a rule, and that rule is: Only Harry and Lloyd are allowed to dress like that. David Freese and Lance Berkman look appropriately ridiculous, but they can't pull it off quite like Harry and Lloyd.
Maybe Freese should have gone with baby blue instead of Dr. Seuss red. That might have helped.
Matt Barkley Thinks He's Awesome
USC had a very un-USC-esque year in 2012—or at least, that's what its fans would like to believe.
For a team that was projected to be a national title contender, it flopped pretty hard. After starting out the season decently, the Trojans dropped five critical games to Stanford, Arizona, Oregon, UCLA and Notre Dame to firmly place themselves in the middle to bottom of the pack.
And along the way, Matt Barkley got hurt, so he couldn't even play against the Irish or in the Trojans' pathetic Sun Bowl loss to Georgia Tech. Not exactly the way a 2013 draft prospect wants to close out his collegiate career.
Those terrible memories, however, seem to be long forgotten by Barkley. He visited the Nike Suite in New Orleans during Super Bowl week, and nobody was happier to see his image "front and center" than he was.
Terrible senior season? Who cares? He's on the Nike wall.
Evan Lysacek Still Exists
Evan Lysacek isn't quite ready to let you forget about him.
The Olympic figure skater may have already peaked. Granted, he won a gold medal in Vancouver in 2010—no small feat—but since then, he's become far more notorious for his Dancing with the Stars loss and for his on-again, off-again romance with fellow Olympian Nastia Liukin than for any feat of his own.
There's no better way to personify dwindling fame than being the guy desperate to make it into a photo with one of the biggest movie stars on the planet, then releasing that photo to the interwebs.
Such was the case when Lysacek attended the Golden Globes this year and managed to sneak his way into a picture with George Clooney. No, you're not missing something; you just can't see him in the picture. But he wanted to share it with you anyway to prove that he, apparently, is still a thing.
Mark Sanchez Pulls a Brady
Apparently, when you play quarterback in the AFC East and you're a relatively young, good-looking guy, GQ just automatically comes calling.
Mark Sanchez, believe it or not, used to not be a joke. Just a few short years ago, he was the guy leading the New York Jets to the AFC title game two years in a row. And because he appeared to be the next up-and-coming young QB (or perhaps because Joe Flacco was just a little to dull or a little too good at football), Sanchez got a spread in the men's magazine.
And as expected, he looked ridiculous.
In one of the many shots that made it into the issue—including this brooding one and this hilariously awful one—we see Sanchez giving some serious face as he traipses through the stadium, shirtless and alone.
And he wonders why people mock him endlessly.
Rex Ryan Shows Some Serious Ink
Mark Sanchez's staunchest supporter is right there beside him on the list.
Jets head coach Rex Ryan knows what he wants, and he goes for it. And he never apologizes to anyone. Reports surface that he has a foot fetish? It's none of your business, but even if it were, what's wrong with that?
He wants a tattoo of his wife sporting a Mark Sanchez jersey? Why not?
Shortly after the Jets' season ended this year, Ryan appeared on a beach in the Bahamas, sporting some new ink: an image of a woman who seemed to be wearing a No. 6 Sanchez jersey. Many assumed the image was meant to represent Ryan's wife.
So first, there's the issue that Ryan is sunbathing in the Bahamas just days after the conclusion of one of the Jets' worst seasons in years. New York finished 6-10, missed the playoffs for the second straight year and embarrassed itself with the Tim Tebow quarterback controversy. And yet there was good old Rex, without a care in the world, forgetting all about it while soaking up some UV rays. Next to that, the issue of the tattoo is a mere afterthought.
Good thing Ryan doesn't apologize for anything, ever. If he did, he'd have a lot of explaining to do here.
Ray Lewis' Nearly Identical SI Covers
Oh, Ray. You would think he'd want the world to know that there's more to him than the dude who prays in the water.
But alas, apparently, there's not.
That, it seems, is why Sports Illustrated couldn't think of any other way to portray the two-time Super Bowl champion linebacker on its cover than by showing him praying.
Granted, Lewis' faith is, more than anything, what he is known for. (Well, maybe not more than anything.) But seriously, use a little creativity. These two covers—complete with headlines like, Does God care who wins the Super Bowl? and, God's linebacker (seriously?)—are nearly identical.
Plus, I don't know if you're aware, but the world outside of the confines of Baltimore is really tired of listening to Ray Lewis talk about God. It's, like, 700 levels beyond Tebow-status at this point.
Chris Dickerson's Hipster/Women's Sweater
We appreciate non-traditional fashion sense, and we know that the whole hipster motif is in right now. Guys are wearing ultra-skinny jeans and super-small shirts and animal-printed sweaters in some parts of the world, and on some of them, it's fine.
But just because you see a Panda sweater that is about seven sizes too small doesn't mean you should put it on.
Chris Dickerson was out doing some shopping with Jeremy Guthrie and came across this women's sweater, and he couldn't resist trying it on. Plus, he probably shared the photo because there was a small to medium-sized part of him that thought it looked good.
Oh, honey, no.
Awkward Schefter-Falcons Photo Op
This photo just screams awkwardness.
It's like Adam Schefter wanted a pic with Matt Ryan because his mom is a fan or something. Or it's like he's too sweaty, so Roddy White doesn't want to get too close to him.
Whatever the case, this one reeks of discomfort, and it looks even weirder because it seems like a fan photo when, in fact, it's not a fan but one of ESPN's most well-known NFL reporters.
Come on, Schefter. Get it together.
Kris Humphries Joins His Hollywood Counterpart
No offense to Kris Humphries or anything (did I just type that?), but he's one of the most infamous d-bags in all of professional sports. Pretty much every photo he shares on social media makes you roll your eyes.
But especially this one, because he's with one of the most infamous d-bags in the world of Hollywood—and he's proud of it.
During his A.C. Slater days, people still liked Mario Lopez. Now, in his Extra and X-Factor days, there is virtually no one who likes him—partly because he's a robot, and partly because he's so unnatural as a reporter that it's uncomfortable to watch.
Humphries joined Lopez at the Grove in L.A. to distribute watches and the two fit together like two peas in a pod.
Randy Moss Flaunts Medals That Aren't His
Randy Moss doesn't intentionally do stuff like this. He just doesn't think before he does.
The older he gets and the fewer good years he has left in him, the more the current 49er is seen as one of the biggest underachievers of his generation. For a long time, Moss was considered to be one of the biggest threats at wide receiver in the NFL, and yet he's never been able to get over his own ego in time to win the big one.
It happened back in '08, when he and the Patriots showed up to the Super Bowl with the best offense in NFL history but flopped at the worst possible time. No ring. It happened again last week, when San Francisco's attack didn't wake up until it was too late. Again, no ring.
But at least Moss has someone else's Olympic medals to keep him warm at night.
And is his #realathelete [sic] hashtag supposed to be a dig at himself, or does he really want us to believe he is a "real athlete" and earned these medals himself?
Chad Ochocinco's Self-Portrait
This is like those people who take shirtless self-portrait MySpace and Facebook profile pictures, except worse because it's Chad Ochocinco.
Ochocinco didn't have much to do this season because his off-the-field troubles resulted in his release from the Dolphins, so to be fair, he had plenty of time to work on his abs, photograph them in the mirror and then post them to Twitter.
But what makes this extra lame is the fact that Ocho retweeted this one with the comment, "Nice exhibit."
Not that this is any surprise because we always knew Ocho was his own biggest fan.
Caroline + Rory 4Ever and Ever
Caroline and Rory are quickly becoming the most annoying athlete couple on the planet. They're borderline LeAnn Rimes/Eddie Cibrian status, except without all of the weird adultery and eating disorders and plastic surgery.
They're just so annoyingly perfect together that it's hard to watch. And they rub it in your face on Twitter and WhoSay constantly. Gross.
Here, we see the tennis star and her PGA pro counterpart on Christmas, wearing their annoying "geek" and "nerd" t-shirts that are mostly annoying because neither of them is remotely geeky nor nerdy, and they know it.
Deion Sanders' Sweet Shoes (Not)
I feel a little guilty coming down on Deion Sanders because I thought his Super Bowl commercial was one of the only good ones.
But when you wear shoes like this, you set yourself up for it.
Deion is a flashy guy, and most of the time, when you work in TV, it's appreciated. People want to see outlandish style. But who would wear shoes like that?
I will tell you who. Scott Disick would wear shoes like that.
LeBron Plays Obama
Leave it up to LeBron James to look like a tool when visiting the White House.
LeBron and his Heat teammates took a journey to our nation's capital to celebrate their 2012 NBA championship with President Obama. For most athletes, listening to Obama wax poetic on their numerous accomplishments brings enough glory and satisfaction.
But not for LeBron.
When you're LeBron, you have to actually pretend you're Obama to get everything you can out of your White House visit, then post a photo of it accompanied by the hashtag, "OperationTakeover." Because all we need is LeBron as president.
Lance Armstrong Lounges in Front of His Tour Jerseys
When I first saw this one, I didn't think it was that bad because I assumed it had been taken before Lance Armstrong admitted to the world that he earned his Tour de France titles via a nice combination of performance-enhancing drugs.
And it was. It was taken and posted in November. But even so, how desperate can you be? Dude, everyone knows you cheated. Just let it go.
The king of all athletic tools took this photo of himself lounging in front of his seven framed Tour de France jerseys and posted it to Twitter—because that would make people like him, obviously.
And it's even more pathetic in the aftermath of his Oprah admission.
I wonder if he still spends much time laying on the couch, staring at those jerseys while pondering life?