Looking to make national signing day even more exhilarating? You’ve wandered into the right wormhole.
The term "prop bet" has become wildly popular in the past few years thanks in large part to the insanity of the Super Bowl. You may now wager on individual yardage, field goals and other Super Bowl-related items, sure, but you can also invest in things like the length of the National Anthem—take the under—the color of Gatorade that will eventually be dumped on the winning coach and if a player on either team will get arrested in the days leading up to the main event.
Only days after the NFL circus, college football’s main extravaganza will take center stage. National signing day may not get the same play as the big game, but its popularity is booming, and many of you will develop a sudden cough or “flu” to stay home on Wednesday. That’s great hustle, no matter what your boss says.
Although no sports books currently offer national signing day prop bets, I’ve gone ahead and crafted a few to get the ball rolling. Before you ask, please note that these are for entertainment purposes only… until your buddy wagers you a six-pack on one, then things start to get real.
Where Will Robert Nkemdiche, the nation’s No. 1 recruit, end up signing?
Ole Miss (1/2)
Analysis: Anything but Ole Miss would be a shocker, although stranger things have (and probably will) happen. Mississippi head coach Hugh Freeze should probably have a bottle of classy bubbly on hand, however, because he’ll likely have reasons to celebrate.
This begins with Mr. Nkemdiche, but it probably won’t end there. Go against the chalk at your own risk.
How many coaches will say they are “very happy” with their 2013 recruiting class?
None of Them (10,000/1)
Some of Them (15/1)
All of Them (1/10)
Analysis: You might want to stay away from this bet altogether, although perhaps there’s some value in the middle selection. Until I hear a coach say, “Yeah, we put together a pretty terrible class. Horrible work by myself and my assistants, and these guys really are just roster fillers,” it'll be hard to break the trend.
Until then, jump on the favorite. Every coach is "happy" with his class in front of the camera, no matter how many 2-star recruits he is gushing over.
Will a recruit use a live animal to announce his decision?
Analysis: I will continue to preach from the tallest mountains that live animals should be a requirement for all commitments on national signing day. With that being said, this still seems extraordinarily unlikely, despite my fond bulldog puppy memories.
If an Alabama commit decides to stroll out on an elephant sporting a houndstooth bow tie, however, I hope I’m not near any glass tables because I will faint right through it.
How many times will the phrase “high upside” be mentioned on television during national signing day?
10 or less (100/1)
60 or more (2/1)
Analysis: Don’t be a contrarian. Place your money on the overwhelming favorite here and double your money without an ounce of stress. Is that 100/1 enticing? Oh, it sure is, but unfortunately this will be crushed shortly after the sun comes up.
Robert Nkemdiche is first to announce, and he should handle a good chunk of this by his lonesome.
Which team will end up with the No. 1 class in the country?
Notre Dame (4/1)
Ohio State (7/1)
Analysis: Much of this depends on which site you choose to follow, although a likely No. 1 should a bit more obvious Wednesday evening. The top three are all getting plenty of love, and a surprise commitment or two could be the difference.
Go with your gut here, and if you’re banking on New Mexico State to bring it home under “Other,” maybe you want to stay away.
Will Alabama coach Nick Saban smile at any point during national signing day?
Analysis: If he cracks a smile it'll likely be a mistake on his part, but Saban will get plenty of air time. Even Saban makes mistakes...actually, tread carefully on this one. Very carefully.
What will be the most elaborate way a recruit announces his future school?
Pick From Three Hats (1/1)
Reveal Another Concealed Clothing Item (2/1)
Pick One Hat as a Fake Out, and Then Go with Another (4/1)
Shave Team’s Logo in Head (8/1)
Uses Live Animal as Prop (15/1)
Announce Via Hologram (100/1)
Analysis: Hats are clearly the safer play, although you’ll get tremendous value on logo shaved into your head, a trend that might just be getting underway. The hologram selection is bold—perhaps slightly ahead of our time—but it will be utilized eventually, followed by a hologram fake out. Tough call, but if in doubt, bet on the animal because just remember how awesome that elephant in houndstooth would be.
Will all fans handle national signing day with maturity and act like adults?
[BET PULLED OFF BOARD DUE TO EXTREME ONE-SIDED ACTION]
Analysis: After putting this bet out there for three minutes, intense “No” betting prompted us to pull this bet off the board. If you’re confused by this, simply locate the Twitter pages of some of the top recruits in the 2013 class on national signing day and see the horrendous things people say when they don't pick their school.
Please, don't be that imbecile.
Will a recruit cite "food" as one of the reasons he made his decision?
Analysis: If this prop bet seems odd to you, you’re probably not alone in your confusion. Still, we saw linebacker Cassanova McKinzy discuss a lack of Chick-fil-As as one of the reasons he picked Auburn over Clemson last year. For the record, Clemson does have a Chick-fil-A presence.
As an advocate of tasty foods, I hope we see this. Solid value at 8/1, and I believe this is a very live long shot on the board.
Will you commit to Ole Miss by the end of the day?
No (Betting Line Not Available, Because You Already Committed)
Analysis: Seriously, everybody’s doing it.