Kyle Orton-Randy Orton: Tale of the Tape
The sports world is ablaze with debate and discussion over the Broncos' recent acquisition of QB Kyle Orton, who brought three draft picks(first, third, first in 2010) with him in return for disgruntled gunslinger Jay Cutler, who unfortunately didn't show up with the fifth round pick he was supposed to bring from Denver.
Reports say the airplane stewardess threw it out while Jay was sleeping, probably mistaking it for garbage.
Meanwhile, in the world of pre-determined outcomes, WWE superstar Randy Orton is preparing to challenge Triple H for the prestigious WWE Championship at Wrestlemania 25.
If Randy emerges victorious this Sunday night, I've decided that his first title defense should come against none other than his namesake, Kyle.
What would happen if these two actually met in the ring, or on the gridiron? Let's look at the stats.
Birthdate: Nov. 14, 1982 April 1, 1980
Hometown: Altoona, Iowa Knoxville, Tenn
Height: 6'4" 6'4"
Weight: 214 lbs 245 lbs
Championships: 0 Three
Also known as: Neckbeard The Legend Killer
Salary: $2,800,000 $711,000
Works closely with: Men in tights Men in tights
Specialty: WCO(West Coast Offense) RKO
Throws: Hook routes Right hooks
Current opponent: Chris Simms Triple H
Always studying: The Playbook The Script
Often covered with: D-Linemen Baby Oil
Fired famously? Traded after solid year Dishonorably discharged
as starter for better QB from Marine Corps
The Punt? How he finishes drives How he finishes matches
So who has the edge in this epic battle? Sure, Randy gets to beat people up for a living, and Kyle is usually the one taking the beating, but the baby oil and the pre-written storylines steal some legitimacy from Randy.
On the other hand, have you ever seen Chris Simms deliver the Pedigree? Exactly, because the secret to a successful Pedigree is a fully-functioning spleen. Who knew?
In truth, it takes a lot of guts to be hated, but it's much easier when you're trying to be hated. So even though Cowboy Bob's boy holds the advantage in world championships, I'm giving this one to...
Kyle Orton! However, if Randy picks up the belt this Sunday at Wrestlemania, it may take a Super Bowl run by Kyle to keep the top spot. Either that or a few more inches on that manly beard.
What is the duplicate article?
Why is this article offensive?
Where is this article plagiarized from?
Why is this article poorly edited?