It's WWE pay-per-view time again, and that means it is also time for me to simulate yet another event with THQ's WWE 13.
The Rock is back in action, so that genuinely gets all wrestling fans excited to some degree, and who doesn't love the granddaddy of all battle royal events?
The Royal Rumble is a great opening act for a year of WWE drama, and I just had to get the video game's take on the confirmed matches set for Sunday, Jan. 27 at the US Airways Arena in Phoenix, Ariz.
If this is your first WWE 13 event simulation, or you're not familiar with the inner workings of the game itself, just know that while there are a tons of options available in the game, it is impossible to capture all of the current details in the real WWE.
That said, I did my best—sans changing Jinder Mahal and Heath Slater's attire to match the 3MB gimmick. Don't worry, they won't spend a lot of time in the ring anyway.
Without further ado, here are the simulations.
Here's an example of how the video game completely disregarded my efforts to make the match authentic.
I went through the trouble of changing the Miz's finishing move to the figure-four leg lock. Ric Flair seemingly handed the maneuver down to the Miz two weeks ago, so he'll almost certainly lock it on during his match with Cesaro.
Look at me, I'm a stickler for details, right?
What did cyber-Miz do after my hard work? He completely ignored the move, and worse yet, he used another submission hold to make Cesaro tap.
That's not awesome.
In reality—so to speak—I'm betting Cesaro retains the title, and I'm sure the Miz won't use any other submission hold besides the figure four.
I'm ready for Team Hell No to disband and for both Daniel Bryan and Kane to move on to bigger and better things.
Kane deserves one more run as the WWE champion before he retires, and Bryan needs to resume his climb to main-event status in the WWE.
If the results of this simulation happen at the Royal Rumble, both men will be well on their way in that direction. Damien Sandow and Cody Rhodes took care of business in this match, and this will likely be the real outcome on Sunday night.
It's time for all four of these men to move on from this mini-feud.
Have you ever wanted to deliver your own personal finishing move to the WWE nation?
I wanted to make someone tap out when the WWE fans chose to have Del Rio and Big Show rematch with the same stipulations from their previous meeting.
The WWE allowed the fans to vote on the type of match Del Rio and Show would have at the Royal Rumble, and a retread was the best we could come up with?
Where's the creativity? Where's the variety?
I did enjoy their match from the Jan. 12 episode of WWE Smackdown, but I'm wary about seeing a program that is too similar to the first one.
In the simulation, there were a few momentum shifts, but ultimately Show regained the title after landing the WMD.
This match creates an interesting scenario for the WWE. If the Rock wins—as many expect him to—he surely won't hold the title for long. Is he committed to appearing on Raw and/or Smackdown until WrestleMania?
If not, the WWE is setting up a scenario where the champion won't be consistently present on their regular programming.
It would be interesting to see how that goes over with fans.
According to the WWE 13 simulation, we won't have to worry about that scenario. CM Punk proved himself to be the best in the world. He went one-on-one with the Great One, and he came out victorious.
There was no interference from the Shield, just Punk topping the People's Champ.
I love the Rock, but I'm not sure I want to see a part-time superstar hold the title. I'd be fine with seeing Punk retain the gold.
Dolph Ziggler will start the real Royal Rumble as either the first or second man in the ring, but unfortunately, WWE 13 doesn't give you control over the entry order unless you human-control one of the Superstars.
That said, Ziggler did get in the simulation, but he wasn't the first or second man in the ring.
Perhaps Darren Young had a taste of Captain America's super soldier serum, because the cyber-version of the Prime Time Player was performing well above what WWE fans have come to expect from him.
He is a created character, but I assure you, his ratings are modest.
Young didn't win the Rumble simulation, but he lasted longer than I expected, and he had a hand in eliminating a few well-known Superstars.
There are 23 confirmed entries in the Rumble as of now (per the People's Wrestling Site), so I figured I'd speculate on the remaining seven slots. If you haven't watched the video, I'll let you in on two. just for the sake of clarification.
Genuinely the WWE invites a legend or two back to make an appearance in the Royal Rumble. Because of his recent feuds with Wade Barrett, I'm thinking Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat could be the guy this year.
I'm gambling even further that he won't come alone.
This would be a perfect time to bring The Dragon's son, Richie Steamboat up to the big leagues. He's been working in the developmental territories for the WWE, but this could be a great way to get him an early push.
The idea is a good one, but I may have created a monster. Wait until you see how long the youngest Steamboat stays in the Rumble.
Even though the order of entry may be a bit weird, the end result wasn't completely implausible.
Ziggler came out on top, but he didn't have to last the duration of the match to win.