It also blinds NFL General Managers, burns free safeties, and accounts for my excessive number of moving violations.
This slide show takes a look at the speediest receivers in the 2013 NFL Draft Class.
Instead of employing "eye test" assessments, this presentation utilizes times listed on NFLDraftScout.com, which catalogues the fastest and slowest "reported" 40 times, as well as the best "verifiable" time of each player in the draft.
Hopefully this method will allow a consistent, impartial ranking of the ten fastest wide receivers in this year's class.
For relevance's sake, I've narrowed the choices to the top 100 receivers as rated by NFLDraftScout.com.
Oregon State's breakout receiver, Markus Wheaton, displayed his speed all season as he compiled 91 receptions for 1244 yards and 11 TDs to accompany 20 rushing attempts for 142 yards and 2 touchdowns.
At 5'11" and 183 pounds, Wheaton clocked a "verified" 4.44 40-yard time as well as an unverified "low" time of 4.34.
His speed is a huge asset, but his other skills have earned him the eighth-rated receiver spot in the 2013 class.
Expect Wheaton to be drafted in the second round.
Corey Fuller, a stand-out receiver for the Hokies, has a "verified" 40-yard time of 4.43 and is projected to be drafted in the sixth round.
While Fuller was initially a walk-on, the track and field transfer from Kansas reeled in 43 catches for 815 yards and six touchdowns in his first season starting for the Hokies, and he will look to carry that success over to the NFL.
He is the 24th-rated receiver in the draft.
Skye Dawson, the 5'9", 183-pound receiver from TCU has clocked a "verified" 4.42 and a "low" time of 4.32 in the 40-yard dash.
A member of the Coaches' All-Big 12 honorable-mention team, Dawson finished his senior year with 34 receptions for 455 yards and ranked top five in the Big 12 in kick (23.1) and punt return (9.4) average. (via NFLDraftScout.com)
He is the 56th-rated receiver in the class, and will likely hope to make a team through free agency.
The 94th-rated receiver out of Arizona State, Rashad Ross put his "verified" 4.42 speed on display during the Sun Devils' 2012 Kraft Fight Hunger Bowl game against Navy, compiling four receptions for 139 yards and three touchdowns in his final collegiate game.
One may also recall Ross's 98-yard kickoff return to open the second half of the 2011 Maaco Las Vegas Bowl against 12-1 Boise State.
While Ross isn't projected to be drafted, considering his speed and big-stage bowl performances, one would think someone will give him a shot.
Jesse Grandy, a former Ole Miss transfer, used his "verified" 4.42 speed to accumulate 49 receptions for 788 yards and nine touchdowns in the Southland Conference this season, leading the Central Arkansas Bears in all three categories.
He was also a two-year letterman as a return specialist and wide receiver for the University of Mississippi. (via UCASports.com)
Though he is projected to go undrafted, his speed mixed with SEC pedigree will probably land him a shot at the next level.
Though Denard Robinson spent four years at Michigan making highlight reels as a quarterback, he is projected as a wide receiver at the next level, like former Appalachian State QB and current Carolina Panther receiver Amanti Edwards.
While the former Heisman candidate probably doesn't have a career as a pass-thrower in the NFL, he definitely has the speed to transition to wide receiver, boasting a "verified" 4.39 40-yard time.
Rated the 17th best receiver in the 2013 class, Robinson is expected to come off the board in the fourth round, but his versatility and big-play ability could push him up slightly.
D.J. Monroe clocks in with a blistering "verified" time of 4.38 in addition to a "low" of 4.38.
Monroe was mostly utilized as a kick-returner, where he garnered 21 attempts for 515 yards and a touchdown, adding to his modest 19 rushing attempts, 162 yards, and three touchdowns.
Rated as the 60th receiver in the 2013 class, Monroe will look to make a name for himself at the next level as either a late-round pick or an undrafted free agent.
Despite a lack of production on the offensive side of the ball, Reggie Dunn comes in at number three on our list with a verified 4.38 40-yard time and a reported "low" time of 4.28.
While Dunn didn't pose a great threat as a receiver this season, he is rated 41st of 384 receivers in the draft due to his explosive return ability.
Despite returning only 10 kicks all season, he made them count, averaging 51.8 yards per return and netting four touchdowns, which led the nation in 2012.
Dunn isn't currently projected to be drafted, but one has to think he will get a shot in the league as either a late-round choice or a free-agent pick-up.
When you think of Tavon Austin, you think of speed. It's just natural.
The fourth-rated receiver in the draft drove Big 12 defenses mad this season, showcasing his "verified" 4.38 40-yard time to the tune of 114 receptions for 1289 yards and 12 touchdowns to accompany his 72 rushes for 643 yards and three touchdowns.
Austin is a projected first to early second-round pick, but with his playmaking ability, an early-to-mid first-round selection wouldn't be shocking.
Marquise Goodwin stakes his claim as the fastest receiver in the 2013 NFL Draft with a blazing, "verified" 40-yard time of 4.36, and an unconfirmed, "low" time of 4.26.
The speedster recorded 26 receptions for 340 yards and three touchdowns along with 13 carries for 140 yards on offense this season, while also covering some kick return duties where he compiled 327 yards on 13 attempts.
He showed off his wheels with a 64-yard touchdown run against Oregon State in the Alamo Bowl.
He is the 22nd-rated receiver in the class, projected to be drafted in the fifth or sixth round, but his sonic speed could allow him to beat that projection.
Cordarrelle Patterson of the Vols
This list includes both the speedy receivers who barely missed the cut and the other blazers who didn't make the top 100 receivers in the draft.
Charles Hawkins, Southern University Jaguars - "Verified" 4.34 40-yard time, "low" of 4.24
Devon Smith, Marshall University Thundering Herd - "Verified" 4.36, "low" of 4.26
Tyler Shaw, Northwest Missouri State University Bearcats - "Verified" 4.39, "low" of 4.28
Cordarrelle Patterson, University of Tennessee Volunteers - "Verified" 4.46, "low" of 4.34
Chris Harper, University of Kansas State - "Verified" 4.46, "low" of 4.35
Robert Woods, University of Southern California Trojans - "Verified" 4.47, "low" of 4.36
Stedman Bailey, West Virginia University Mountaineers - "Verified" 4.49, "low" of 4.38
Ace Sanders, University of South Carolina Gamecocks - "Verified" 4.5, "low" of 4.40