20 Ways to Get Inside an Athlete's Head

Nick Dimengo@@itsnickdimengoFeatured ColumnistJanuary 24, 2013

20 Ways to Get Inside an Athlete's Head

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    Last week, we gave you the athletes who love to start crap by getting into other players' heads and instigating things during a game.

    Hell, we've even see guys face major penalties for their attempts to insult other guys.

    So that got us thinking about some of the other stuff players, fans and media people can do to really piss an athlete off, even if some of us aren't directly involved in the game.

    These are a couple of them, so just remember to use caution.

Talk About Their Momma

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    We've all heard a good "Yo Momma" joke in our day, but if you open your mouth and direct it towards an athlete, it can go one of two ways.

    In one instance, they laugh it off.

    In the second, they storm into the crowd and beat you to a pulp.

Throw Stuff at Them

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    We were at the Browns game when fans tossed plastic beer bottles at officials and players during a game in 2001, so we've seen firsthand how this goes down.

    It usually ends with people getting kicked out of the stadium and a couple arrests, but let's be sure that visiting team will remember what happened the next time they pay a visit to your hometown.

Pull on Their Hair

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    When you were younger, you probably always heard about stories of a couple girls on the playground getting into a fight in which one or both yanked on each other's hair.

    It never feels good, so if you're a receiver coming across the middle or a big man going up for a rebound and it happens, you may think twice about it next time.

Throw Up and in at Them

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    It's not uncommon for a pitcher to establish himself by tossing a little chin music towards an opposing batter.

    Hell, it's actually crucial that hurlers come inside on guys.

    But if a guy wants to make a statement, throw a heater towards someone's head and see if they want to lean across the dish again.

Mock Them

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    In this clip, Patriots wideout Wes Welker "indirectly" referenced feet to take a shot at the story of Jets head coach Rex Ryan's foot fetish.

    If another player's going low blow and bringing up old stuff, then an opposing guy will probably take notice.


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    If you don't think this will get into someone's head, then just remember how that whole T.O. celebrating on the Cowboys star thing went down.

    In a number of cases, we've seen guys who are a little over the top in celebrating get decked or confronted the next time an opposing player gets a chance to hit them.

Call Them Cheaters

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    James Harrison isn't bashful when it comes to speaking his mind, so when he took a shot at the Patriots following their Super Bowl loss to the Giants last year, we're sure Pats players took notice.

    But if you're not willing to go after an entire team, maybe you can just accuse an individual of getting an extra advantage like T.O. did to Rodney Harrison?

Tell Them They "Suck at Their Job"

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    Most fans know that the majority of athletes are likely overpaid and happened to get really lucky by landing a spot in the pros.

    Sure, they're talented, but for what some of these guys get paid, where's the production?

    So when someone calls out a guy for not being very good at his or her job, it's definitely a pretty tough pill to swallow.

Call Them a Loser

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    In some cases, athletes actually turn the tables on fans and try to put them in their place—which was the case after the Heat lost to the Mavs in the 2011 Finals.

    We may never wake-up knowing what it's like to be LeBron, but he doesn't need to get all high and mighty on us!

Bring Up Their Past

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    Everyone has some sort of skeleton in their closet.

    Whether it's a crazy relative who just can't seem to keep to themselves, or a time they got arrested for doing something stupid, talk about someone's faults enough and it can definitely affect them.

Call Them Short

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    In most cases, athletes are supposed to be big and strong, not short and stout.

    So if you happen to come across a guy who's a bit undersized, rag on them about it to try and take them off their game.

    Hey, it worked for Michael Jordan, and you've probably heard about J.J. Watt eating burritos bigger than Ray Rice.

Question Their Ability

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    No athlete ever wants to admit they're on the decline, so if a fan, analyst or player—opposing or a teammate—dogs them for losing a step, it can be tough to hear.

    In most cases, it's always better for someone's words to hit them harder than each batter that steps into the box against them.

Call Their Hotel to Keep Them Awake

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    Stories of this happening are legendary, and an extreme case of fans doing what they can to help their team win.

    If you really want to leave an impression though, call them and mention you're down in the hotel lobby with their made-up girlfriend so they really get thrown off their game the next day.

    Sorry Notre Dame fans, it was just too easy.

Call Them Ugly

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    There are plenty of athletes who have great style and look the part of a leading man/woman, but not everyone is fortunate enough to have it all.

    Though athletes are supposed to be immune to personal shots like this, everyone wants to look their best, so harp on the fact that if ugliness were bricks, they'd be the Great Wall Of China.

Run Up the Score

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    Want to drop a bomb on a team for even showing-up to play against you? Then remember to never take your foot off the gas pedal.

    Coaches and players will be questioned and ridiculed for doing it, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't add insult to the injury of losing.

Tell Them They're an Awful Mack

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    Most guys think they've got the game to score any girl they want, but when someone brings up the fact they had a chick first, it's a shot at the dude's ego.

    Yes, even athletes want to be liked for more than just money and fame, so remember to tell them they're not as good as they think at running game...on ladies that is.

Flip Them the Bird

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    There's actually a study out there that suggests nearly 93 percent of effective communicating comes from our nonverbal cues.

    So want to show someone how you really feel without actually opening your mouth? Go ahead and give them that middle finger to let them have it!

Say They Have Manboobs

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    If you're an athlete who's accused of having manboobs, you're probably a little bit bigger than most normal people.

    But if you're an athlete who's in pretty good shape and still gets called out for having them, well, we're sure it messes with your psyche a little bit.

Step on Them

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    It's one thing to go mano y mano, but when an athlete goes all loco on another guy by visibly trying to hurt them, things get a little dicey.

    Try blocking a guy who's 6'4" and 300 pounds. Now try blocking him, knowing at any point, he could pull some bush league move on you for no apparent reason.

    Yeah, it's a little intimidating.

Say Something About Their Lady

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    As we saw between Carmelo and KG a couple weeks ago, talking about another dude's girl is more than off limits.

    Sure, it's supposed to be done to get a guy off his game, but when things get taken off the field of play to try and settle the score, getting in their head is taken to whole new heights.