On January 21, 2013, United States President Barack Obama will be sworn in for his second term in office. President Obama is a well-documented basketball fan, and has appeared at events with superstars like Derrick Rose and Carmelo Anthony. With much of his cabinet still to be filled, who would be on Barack Obama's cabinet if he filled it with NBA personalities?
Let me know what you think in the comments!
Secretary of State: David Stern
The US State Department is in charge of international relations between the United States and foreign countries. In the NBA, no one person has done more for the globalization of sport than David Stern. He was one of the driving forces behind the Dream Team and has led delegations to third world countries.
Secretary of the Treasury: LeBron James
In the NBA today, no player is worth more than LeBron James. LeBron is one of the greatest marketing geniuses in all of sports right now, and has diversified his portfolio more than any athlete in the world the past decade. Because of that, he would be a good person to deal with a financial crisis.
Secretary of Defense: Serge Ibaka
The Department of Defense is the critical United States department that deals with international threats. Serge Ibaka fits both of those qualifications. He is internationally savvy, being from the Congo, and having played extensively in Spain. He also is one of the best rim-protectors in the association, averaging 2.8 blocks per game this season.
Attorney General: Derek Fisher
The Attorney General is the individual in charge of the justice department, and the person who defends the USA. One of the most respectable players in the league is Derek Fisher. His presence often isn't noticed, but it is assuredly felt. He also represented the NBA Players during the lockout, so he has experience.
Secretary of the Interior: Chris Kaman
The Department of the Interior is the department that deals with federal lands and for lack of a better phrase, the great outdoors. If there's someone who loves the great outdoors, it's Chris Kaman. Kaman is a noted gun-enthusiast and hunter, and would be perfect to make sure that he's able to hunt whatever he pleases.
Secretary of Agriculture: Kevin Durant
Kevin Durant is one of the brightest young stars in the NBA. More than anything else; however, he is one of the players who is improving at the quickest rate in the NBA. Durant would be able to increase agricultural output by improving the way things were done. On top of that, he's from an agricultural area in Oklahoma.
Secretary of Commerce: Daryl Morey
This offseason, Houston Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey decided to change up the direction of his basketball team, acquiring James Harden, Jeremy Lin, Omer Asik, and Donatas Motiejunas, among others. At this point, there is no GM more transaction-friendly than Darryl Morey, and those skills would be useful for Commerce.
Secretary of Labor: Rajon Rondo
In America right now, we have a jobs crisis. There does not seem to be enough work for all the people looking for a job. Rajon Rondo is a guy who is used to spreading the wealth. He is averaging a league-high eleven assists a game, and is perfect for finding opportunities for Americans to put in work.
Secretary of Health and Human Services: Phoenix Suns' Medical Staff
In the NBA, perhaps no medical staff is as revered as that of the Phoenix Suns. The Suns' staff has been credited to extending the health of such players as Steve Nash, Grant Hill, Shaquille O'Neal, and Amar'e Stoudemire, among others. For this reason, no group would be more valuable for Health and Human Services than the Suns' staff.
Secretary of Housing and Development: Dikembe Mutombo
In the history of the league, there's probably no individual who has been more philanthropic than Dikembe Mutombo. In 2007, Mutombo opened the Biamba Marie Mutombo Hospital in his home country of the Congo, a hospital that he contributed over half of the money to fund. If there's anyone who I want in human development, it's Mutumbo.
Secretary of Transportation: Derrick Rose
The Department of Transportation's job is effectively trying to make sure that people can get from one place to another as fast as possible. If there's one guy who knows a whole lot about speed, it's Derrick Rose, one of the fastest players in the association.
Secretary of Energy: Joakim Noah
If there's a player who plays with energy in the NBA, it's Joakim Noah. He averages almost 11 rebounds a game, and scores over 12, despite never having a play run for him. Most of his points are through tip-ins and other hustle plays. If we could store and use Joakim Noah's energy, maybe we wouldn't have to worry so much about fossil fuels.
Secretary of Education: Jeremy Lin
The current Secretary of Education is named Arne Duncan. Duncan graduated from Harvard University after being a co-captain of the Harvard Crimson basketball team. After that, he played four years of professional basketball in Australia before going into education. Harvard basketball? Professional career? Sounds like Jeremy Lin could be our next Secretary of Education!
Secretary of Veteran Affairs: Kurt Thomas
The Department of Veteran Affairs is in charge of taking care of the veterans of this country. Out of all the players in the NBA, none is more veteran than Kurt Thomas. On the court, Thomas wears No. 40, which perfectly describes how old he is. As the league's only 40 year old, he could properly represent the nation's veterans.
Secretary of Homeland Security: Gregg Popovich
The Department of Homeland Security is in charge of monitoring the activity of internal threats, or threats within the country. The San Antonio Spurs are an organization who have some of the best chemistry in the whole league. They have been famous for bringing in guys who have had troubled pasts and turning them into solid rotational pieces. If we can bring San Antonio Spurs-style chemistry to this country, it will assuredly help.