The only gimmick storyline in wrestling worse than a romance between wrestlers is a wedding.
Do we really want to bear witness to alleged nuptials in the ring which everyone knows will end up in chaos? That storyline is more predictable than the outcome of a Ryback-vs.-two-jobbers squash match.
It is a storyline that all the swerves in the world cannot change.
In WWE, there have been numerous wedding stories over the years—most with disastrous results.
Perhaps the best-remembered kayfabe marriage took place in 2008 between Edge and Vickie Guerrero. While we were not witnesses to the actual ceremony itself, we did see that the marriage did not make it past the reception, when Triple H showed a video of Edge carrying on an “affair” with Alicia Fox the day before the wedding.
But most of those weddings took place during a whole different time in WWE, when sex not only sold, but ruled.
Now within a year’s time, we will have been exposed to three wedding storylines on WWE and TNA Impact Wrestling.
Eric Young and ODB “tied the knot” on TNA last April. AJ Lee left Daniel Bryan standing at the altar on Raw’s 1,000th episode last July.
And next week, we will once again be exposed to a marriage storyline on TNA.
Bully Ray and Brooke Hogan are set to get hitched—much to the chagrin of Brooke’s dad, Hulk Hogan. You see, Hogan suspended Bully Ray (storyline) after finding out about his relationship with Brooke.
The wedding storyline is as stale as week-old bread, but you have to give points to the respective creative departments. Each version of “Here Comes the Bride” has had a different outcome.
One marriage actually went off as scheduled. One marriage was stopped before it started because the bride had a “better offer.”
Next week’s wedding obviously will feature a father’s wrath at his prospective son-in-law. And you just know that Aces & Eights—TNA’s version of The Shield in WWE—will play a role in the ruckus that is expected to occur.
But no matter how each plays out, a wedding should join the romance angle in a retirement home for old storylines.
PWInsider railed against the latest wedding angle in an article posted Friday:
Is this entire storyline Hulk Hogan's way of thrusting his talentless daughter & himself into the “top spot” in TNA? And is there anything good that can come from this storyline, regardless of what happens at next week’s “wedding"?
This latest TNA storyline comes just as WrestlingInc.com reported on an interview TNA announcer Jeremy Borash did with TNA president Dixie Carter where she was asked about competition with WWE and copying of storylines.
While she did not come out and name WWE specifically, she said in the interview that her company is doing things “and obviously people are taking note, and they think it's pretty good and think that they should do it, too.”
There obviously is no love lost between TNA and WWE, as indicated by the ongoing lawsuit between them over the sharing of trade secrets. But we can only hope that the two companies could at least agree on one issue.
They need to divorce themselves from wedding storylines.
Follow Bill Atkinson on Twitter at @BAtkinson1963.