Just before the annual madness of the January transfer window began, Leo Messi was offered an escape route from his Barcelona nightmare by Anzhi Makhachkala.
Apparently, the Russian billionaires offered the Argentinean €30 million a year and Barcelona €250 million for the No. 10's signature.
Of course, it later transpired this was complete garbage. Anzhi has got a few rubles knocking about, as its deal to make Samuel Eto'o the world's highest-paid player proves. But it was never likely to lure Messi from the Catalan capital.
There have been a few other frankly nonsense stories about ins and outs at Camp Nou this January. Here are five that for one reason or another have no chance of happening.