Premier League: The Top 5 Bad Haircuts
It's a sad fact that not every footballer can enjoy the trend-setting hair of David Beckham, the just-stepped-out-of-a-shampoo-commercial locks of Radamel Falcao or the stern retro coiffure of Scott Parker.
Some toil away with unique follicle expectation, but fall a little wide of the mark—just like Mario Balotelli, who turned up at Manchester City training this week having gone a little over the top with the peroxide.
The Premier League has seen some stunningly bad style over the years (Taribo West, Joe Cole and Javier Margas to name a few), but here are five of the most "impressive" haircuts in the Premier League today.
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Since arriving at Chelsea in 2011, David Luiz may have been partial to the occasional erratic performance, but his hair has consistently had the volume and pomp of a blow-dried clown wig.
The defender-turned-midfielder has managed five goals in 48 appearances for the Blues, all while maintaining a time-consuming vendetta against Bart Simpson.
However, Luiz's luscious locks may be a thing of the past. His mother posted shots on Instagram on Thursday which suggest that Luiz has taken a drastic haircut. (It also suggests his mother still cuts his hair.)
With the news that Fabricio Coloccini has requested to go back to Argentina (via BBC Sport), this could be the end for big curly perms in the Premiership.
The problem with Mario Balotelli is that no one pays him enough attention.
His manager barely mentions him, he is rarely controversial and the press have absolutely no interest in his off-field antics.
To combat this relative anonymity, the Italian has this week bleached his mohawk, providing the ideal subtle accoutrement to his delicately shaved eyebrows and diamond earrings. Hopefully now the striker will stop falling under the radar so much.
Super Mario is actually no stranger to bleaching—he lightened his ever-evolving mohawk last season, too.
With his all-encompassing tattoo collection and "uninhibited" dress sense, Djibril Cisse isn't afraid of standing out in the crowd.
Since starting his career at Auxerre, the French striker has changed his audacious hair more times than Roman Abramovich has changed his manager—and that's saying something.
At the time of writing, the Champions League winner is rocking a mohawk with a bleached tip, but that could change in 10 minutes time.
On an unrelated (but brilliant) note, Cisse has also been on MTV's Pimp My Ride.
Arsene Wenger once described Bacary Sagna as the "best right-back in the Premier League." That may or may not be true, but the Arsenal star certainly has the best hair of any top-flight right-back.
It's the kind of style that you would expect from a young impressionable girl returning from a Caribbean cruise vacation.
These days, Bac has toned down the peroxide on his locks, but it's still difficult to imagine many Gunners heading to their local barbers to request a "Sagna."
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It isn't often that Gervinho upstages anyone, but he's certainly outclassing Bacary Sagna in the questionable parted braids department.
Ligue 1-winning forward Gervinho has persevered with his long braids and headband combo, despite his absurdly high hairline.
To quote former journeyman striker and pundit Micky Quinn, it looks "like a pair of curtains."