Changes at the University of Kentucky if Calipari is hired?

Contributor Written on March 31, 2009

Previous Next

Slide 1 of 12

This would be the press conference if Kentucky hires John Calipari as their new basketball coach. They would be turning to the "Dark Side" by hiring a coach that used to be a huge rival of the school. This is the chaos that would follow.

You have to use some imagination. I'm a UK fan and this is just supposed to poke fun at the whole coaching situation.

Hope you enjoy.

Press Conference

Dr. Todd: "Thanks everyone for coming. We're here to introduce John Calipari as our men's basketball coach. We will also be announcing some changes to the program. Take it away Mitch."

Changes to UK

Barhnhart: " Thanks, Dr. Todd. We are very excited today that some new great things will be happening.

First, I will be resigning as the athletics director here at U.K. I would like to take this time to introduce my replacement..."

New A.D.

Barnhart: "Lord Vader come on up here."

Vader: " Thank you Mitch. It was very fortunate for you that you chose me as your replacement."

I will be introducing the new president of the university as well..."

Todd: "Wait a minute... I didn't step down."

Vader: "Yes you did."

As he starts to force choke Dr. Todd. He releases Todd just in time to spare his life.

Vader: "Where was I... oh yes, the new president. Allow me to introduce the new leader at Kentucky."

New President

Vader: "Emperor Palpatine would you join me please?"

Emperor: " Thank You, Lord Vader. We will be reforming the Big Blue Nation. It will be dissolved and turned into the first Galactic Empire.

Here are the other changes..."

New Logo

Emperor: "This will be the new athletics' logo. Any questions?"

crickets chirp in the silence

Emperor: "Very well, let us continue."

Rupp Arena Renovations

Vader: "Rupp Arena will undergo immediate renovations. This is what the finished product will look like. We have not decided on a name yet ."

New Uniforms

Vader: "These will be the new players' uniforms."

Anonymous Reporter: "Umm, Mr. Lord Vader??"

Vader: "Yes, what is it?"

Reporter: "What about road games?"

Vader: "There will be no road games!"

New Transportation

Emperor: "Will we also be replacing the school's buses and planes with these AT-AT- walkers. They will be much more fuel efficient."

New Coach

19 Nov 2001: Head coach John Calipari of the University of Memphis talks with the media during a press conference for the Guardians Classic in Kansas City, Missouri. DIGITAL IMAGE Mandatory Credit: Ronald Martinez/ALLSPORT

Vader: "Now for our new coach. Ahh, screw it. I will be coaching the team from now on. Calipari, anything to add?"

John Calipari: "Nope, not a thing Coach Vader."

Vader: "Very Well."

Vader points at the pep-band which strikes up the Imperial Death March. He and the Emperor stride out. While everyone else runs for their lives.

The end

I'm actually cool with Calipari coming to UK. Just a funny take on all the UK fans and administration turning to the dark side.

Begin Slideshow

That's the end of this slideshow, here are a few more you might like...

Maui Invitational 2009: Who's a Contender, and Who's In Trouble

Back in the 90's, the cream of the crop went to Maui. However with the development of other preseason tournaments and stronger fields, Maui was a bit subdued this year in terms of talent...
The Top Ten Things Arizona Wildcats Basketball Fans Have To Be Thankful For

At the dinner table on Thanksgiving, people usually go around the table and say what they are thankful for this year. For Arizona Wildcat fans the past two years has been one big roller coaster...
10 Turkey-tastic Reasons for UNLV Fans to Give Thanks

Approximately 600 years ago, Pocahontas and Sacajawea sat down with Benjamin Franklin and Abraham Lincoln for a delicious turkey dinner, and Thanksgiving was born...

(0)

0 Comments

There are no comments yet. Get the conversation started by leaving the first comment

Loading more comments...

posted just now

Loading...
Nobody has liked this comment yet

Cancel

This comment and all replies have been deleted This comment has been deleted Undo delete

<form action="/accounts/create_from_facebook_comment" class="new_facebook_user" id="new_facebook_user" method="post">	<input id="facebook_user_facebook_id" name="facebook_user[facebook_id]" type="hidden" />
	<input id="facebook_user_proxied_email" name="facebook_user[proxied_email]" type="hidden" />
	<input id="facebook_user_profile_pic" name="facebook_user[profile_pic]" type="hidden" />
	<input id="facebook_user_profile_url" name="facebook_user[profile_url]" type="hidden" />
	<ul>
		<div id="facebook_questions">
			<li class="fb-question" id="facebook_full_name_container">
				<p class="question">
					<label for="facebook_user_use_full_name">Use your full name <strong class="full_name"></strong> on Bleacher Report?</label>
					<br />
				</p>
				<p class="options">
					<input name="facebook_user[use_full_name]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_use_full_name" name="facebook_user[use_full_name]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_use_full_name">Yes</label>
				</p>
				<div class="input full-name-edit" style="display:none">
					<p>Edit your name for Bleacher Report:</p>
					<div class="fb-first-name">
						<label for="facebook_user_first_name">First Name <em>(required)</em></label>
						<input class="signup_text_input" id="facebook_user_first_name" name="facebook_user[first_name]" size="30" type="text" />
						
					</div>
	
					<div class="fb-last-name">
						<label for="facebook_user_last_name">Last Name <em>(required)</em></label>
						<input class="signup_text_input" id="facebook_user_last_name" name="facebook_user[last_name]" size="30" type="text" />
						
					</div>
				</div>
			</li>
			<li class="fb-question">
				<p class="question">
					<img src="/images/default-user-icon-medium.png" class="profile_pic" />
					<label for="facebook_user_use_profile_pic">Do you want to use your Facebook profile picture on Bleacher Report?</label>
				</p>
				<p class="options">
					<input name="facebook_user[use_profile_pic]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_use_profile_pic" name="facebook_user[use_profile_pic]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_use_profile_pic">Yes</label>
					
				</p>
			</li>
			<li>
				<a id="facebook_connect_submit"><img src="/images/shared/submit.png" /></a>
			</li>
		</div>
	</ul>
</form>

336
reads

0
comments

0
likes

written on March 31, 2009 Opinion

<form action="/accounts/create_from_facebook" class="new_facebook_user" id="new_facebook_user" method="post">	<input id="facebook_user_proxied_email" name="facebook_user[proxied_email]" type="hidden" />
	<input id="facebook_user_profile_pic" name="facebook_user[profile_pic]" type="hidden" />
	<input id="facebook_user_facebook_id" name="facebook_user[facebook_id]" type="hidden" />
	<input id="facebook_user_profile_url" name="facebook_user[profile_url]" type="hidden" />
	<ul>
					<li class="fb-question">
				<div class="input">
											<div id="facebook_placebo_submit">
							<img src="/images/shared/submit.png" />
						</div>
										<div class="fb-first-name" id="fb-email">
						<p><strong>Email Address</strong></p>
						<input class="signup_text_input" id="facebook_user_email" name="facebook_user[email]" size="30" type="text" />
						<img alt="Small" id="facebook_email_indicator" src="http://assets3.bleacherreport.com/images/shared/spinners/small.gif?1259188455" style="display:none" />
						
					</div>
				</div>
				<div class="input" id="facebook_password_container" style="display:none">
					<div class="fb-first-name notice">
						<p>This email address matches an existing user profile. Please enter your password to connect your accounts.</p>
						<p><strong>Password</strong></p>
						<input class="signup_text_input" id="facebook_user_password" name="facebook_user[password]" size="30" type="password" />
						
					</div>
				</div>
			</li>
				<div id="facebook_questions" style="display:none">
			<li class="fb-question" id="facebook_full_name_container">
				<p class="question">
					<label for="facebook_user_use_full_name">Use your full name <strong class="full_name"></strong> on Bleacher Report?</label>
					<br />
				</p>
				<p class="options">
					<input name="facebook_user[use_full_name]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_use_full_name" name="facebook_user[use_full_name]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_use_full_name">Yes</label>
				</p>
				<div class="input full-name-edit" style="display:none">
					<p>Edit your name for Bleacher Report:</p>
					<div class="fb-first-name">
						<label for="facebook_user_first_name">First Name <em>(required)</em></label>
						<input class="signup_text_input" id="facebook_user_first_name" name="facebook_user[first_name]" size="30" type="text" />
						
					</div>
	
					<div class="fb-last-name">
						<label for="facebook_user_last_name">Last Name <em>(required)</em></label>
						<input class="signup_text_input" id="facebook_user_last_name" name="facebook_user[last_name]" size="30" type="text" />
						
					</div>
				</div>
			</li>
			<li class="fb-question">
				<p class="question">
					<img src="/images/default-user-icon-medium.png" class="profile_pic" />
					<label for="facebook_user_use_profile_pic">Do you want to use your Facebook profile picture on Bleacher Report?</label>
				</p>
				<p class="options">
					<input name="facebook_user[use_profile_pic]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_use_profile_pic" name="facebook_user[use_profile_pic]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_use_profile_pic">Yes</label>
					
				</p>
			</li>
			<li class="fb-question" id="facebook_interested_in_writing_container">
				<p class="question"><label for="facebook_user_interested_in_writing">Are you interested in covering your favorite teams and sports?</label></p>
				<p class="options">
					<input name="facebook_user[interested_in_writing]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input id="facebook_user_interested_in_writing" name="facebook_user[interested_in_writing]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_interested_in_writing">Yes</label>
					
				</p>
			</li>
			<li class="fb-question">
				<p class="question"><label for="facebook_user_share_activity">Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity in your Facebook activity feed?</label></p>
				<p class="options">
					<input name="facebook_user[share_activity]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_share_activity" name="facebook_user[share_activity]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_share_activity">Yes</label>
					
					<br />
					<a href="#" id="share_facebook_activity_advanced_link">Advanced Sharing Options</a>
				</p>
				<p id="share_facebook_activity_advanced" style="display:none">
					<input name="facebook_user[share_activity_article_writing]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_share_activity_article_writing" name="facebook_user[share_activity_article_writing]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_share_activity_article_writing">When I write a new article</label>
					<br /><input name="facebook_user[share_activity_comment]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_share_activity_comment" name="facebook_user[share_activity_comment]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_share_activity_comment">When I post a comment</label>
					<br /><input name="facebook_user[share_activity_like]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_share_activity_like" name="facebook_user[share_activity_like]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_share_activity_like">When I like an article</label>
					<br /><input name="facebook_user[share_activity_poll_vote]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_share_activity_poll_vote" name="facebook_user[share_activity_poll_vote]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_share_activity_poll_vote">When I vote on a poll</label>
					<br /><input name="facebook_user[share_activity_fan]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_share_activity_fan" name="facebook_user[share_activity_fan]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_share_activity_fan">When I become a fan of another member</label>
				</p>
			</li>
			<li class="fb-question">
				<p class="question"><label for="facebook_user_fan_friends">Become fans of your Facebook friends connected to Bleacher Report?</label></p>
				<p class="options">			
					<input name="facebook_user[fan_friends]" type="hidden" value="0" /><input checked="checked" id="facebook_user_fan_friends" name="facebook_user[fan_friends]" type="checkbox" value="1" />
					<label for="facebook_user_fan_friends">Yes</label>
					
				</p>
			</li>
			<li>
				<a id="facebook_connect_submit"><img src="/images/shared/submit.png" /></a>
			</li>
		</div>
	</ul>
</form>

Sign up for Bleacher Report

Already have an account? Log in now » As a member you can get the latest on your favorite teams, post comments, write your own articles, and much more.

Join Bleacher Report

You must register in order for that functionality to work!

Sign up through Facebook

Follow your Facebook friends on Bleacher Report
Share your articles, comments, and more with friends

Great, , you're signed up!

i.e. San Francisco Giants, SEC Football, NFL, Golf

Selected Tags:

Yes, I'd like to receive an email newsletter for the topics I selected.