Statistics. Player profiles. Records. Predictions. Gossip. So much information is out there in the sports world. We love to hear it, to know it, to collect it.
But our thirst for sports-related knowledge must have some boundaries, right? Like that awful song that plays over and over in your head for days on end, there is just some information that we'd like to shut out.
With that in mind, DO NOT READ ON. The information in the following slides is nauseating. Offensive. Horrific. You are much better off not knowing it.
So without further ado, DON'T CLICK NEXT. Find another article and fast.
You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk.
Add roughly 250,000,000 to the attendance numbers at a home game in Jerry World. Yes, sports fans, apparently Periplaneta americana have made the house of Romo their new digs. The illegal tenants are not camera-shy either.
If, for some odd reason, you are intrigued by these Texas kittens, you can follow one named Cowboy Roach on Twitter.
Up to a gallon per hour.
That's right. This jug:
Full. In sixty minutes.
Smelly. Really, really smelly.
Go figure; the suits weigh a ton, and they aren't easy to clean. But even when they are cleaned, it's only a matter of minutes after they're donned again that the putrid reek returns.
"Yeah, we always do our best to keep it smelling as fresh as possible. But honestly, after five minutes at any event, it’s back to the old funk."
- Ben Hatala, a retired Michigan State University Sparty inhabitant
Armpit. Steve Nash's armpit.
*NSFW Warning: This video is uncensored and contains material that many people will find offensive.
After the delightful details of Brett's post-dinner mishap the evening prior, he begins the Vegas horror tale (0:40 on the video).
The acronym TMI (Too Much Information) just doesn't cut it here. We need something like: FFMITEASSPCH (Far, Far More Information Than Even A Strong-Stomached Person Can Handle).
Here's the top 5 countdown:
5. Chewing tobacco.
1. Animal poo.
Every time a player takes out his mouthguard, he exposes it to all those potential contaminants that reside in the turf, on his gloves or on other parts of his uniform.
Perhaps the only athlete who can take this news in stride is Colts offensive tackle Anthony Castonzo who reportedly never removes his mouthguard during games or practice.
For the brave souls who have stayed with the article for this long, here is your reward:
Before steroids, before Red Bull, before blood doping, the performance enhancer of choice was...
Raw. Animal. Testes.
"Hey, Gorgos. You ready for the pentathlon?"
"You betcha, Demetrios. Just as soon as I'm done snacking on these, er...protein packs."