10 Things About Sports That You Wish You Didn't Know

Eric NewmanCorrespondent IIIJanuary 11, 2013

10 Things About Sports That You Wish You Didn't Know

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    Statistics. Player profiles. Records. Predictions. Gossip. So much information is out there in the sports world. We love to hear it, to know it, to collect it.

    But our thirst for sports-related knowledge must have some boundaries, right? Like that awful song that plays over and over in your head for days on end, there is just some information that we'd like to shut out.

    With that in mind, DO NOT READ ON. The information in the following slides is nauseating. Offensive. Horrific. You are much better off not knowing it.

    So without further ado, DON'T CLICK NEXT. Find another article and fast.

Final Warning

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    You have been warned. Proceed at your own risk.

10. What Lurks at the Cowboys Stadium

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    Add roughly 250,000,000 to the attendance numbers at a home game in Jerry World. Yes, sports fans, apparently Periplaneta americana have made the house of Romo their new digs. The illegal tenants are not camera-shy either. 

    If, for some odd reason, you are intrigued by these Texas kittens, you can follow one named Cowboy Roach on Twitter.

9. How Much Tennis Players Sweat

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    Up to a gallon per hour.

    That's right. This jug:

    Full. In sixty minutes.

8. What Sami Lepisto's Bruise Looks Like

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    "This is why I shouldn't be blocking slap shots!"

    - Sami Lepisto via Twitter

    Click here for a link to a video of the blocked shot speculated to be the one that spawned this beast.

7. What's on Christian Ponder's Arm

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    While we're on the topic of injuries...

    Here it is, the bruise that launched a thousand gags.

    This Jackson-Pollock-gone-wrong seemed to be on permanent display on Viking QB Ponder's bicep and kept him out of the playoff game against the Packers.

6. What It's Like Inside a Mascot Costume

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    Smelly. Really, really smelly.

    Go figure; the suits weigh a ton, and they aren't easy to clean. But even when they are cleaned, it's only a matter of minutes after they're donned again that the putrid reek returns.

    "Yeah, we always do our best to keep it smelling as fresh as possible. But honestly, after five minutes at any event, it’s back to the old funk."

    - Ben Hatala, a retired Michigan State University Sparty inhabitant

5. How Evander Holyfield's Ear Tastes

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    "It wasn't too tasty."

    - Mike Tyson

    Well there's that, at least. If he had liked the taste...well, that would just be so much more disturbing.

    Although, when prompted, Tyson did go on to joke that with some Holyfield's Hot Sauce the appendage "would've been a delicacy."


4. What Metta World Peace Has Tasted

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    Armpit. Steve Nash's armpit.

3. How Moisés Alou Toughened Up His Hands

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    Former MLB star Alou was one of the few players to bat without gloves. So how did he keep a tight, controlled grip on the bat?

    He toughened up his hands. By urinating on them.

    At least he thought that toughened them up. Bad news, Alou: Pee actually softens your hands.

2. The Details of George Brett's Vegas Trip

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    *NSFW Warning: This video is uncensored and contains material that many people will find offensive.

    After the delightful details of Brett's post-dinner mishap the evening prior, he begins the Vegas horror tale (0:40 on the video).

    The acronym TMI (Too Much Information) just doesn't cut it here. We need something like: FFMITEASSPCH (Far, Far More Information Than Even A Strong-Stomached Person Can Handle).

1. What Mouthguards Have on Them

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    Here's the top 5 countdown:

    5. Chewing tobacco.

    4. Chemicals.

    3. Blood.

    2. Sputum.

    1. Animal poo.

    Every time a player takes out his mouthguard, he exposes it to all those potential contaminants that reside in the turf, on his gloves or on other parts of his uniform.

    Perhaps the only athlete who can take this news in stride is Colts offensive tackle Anthony Castonzo who reportedly never removes his mouthguard during games or practice.

Bonus Tidbit: What Ancient Olympic Athletes Ate

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    For the brave souls who have stayed with the article for this long, here is your reward:

    Before steroids, before Red Bull, before blood doping, the performance enhancer of choice was...

    Raw. Animal. Testes.

    "Hey, Gorgos. You ready for the pentathlon?"

    "You betcha, Demetrios. Just as soon as I'm done snacking on these, er...protein packs."