Sports Oscar Nominees for 2013
The Oscar nominations are in, which means it's a great time to make like the Academy Awards and do a little nominating of our own—in sports form.
Snubs, surprises and adulation abound, but not for things like Amour, Lincoln or Silver Linings Playbook.
No, we are concentrating on things like the Miami Heat, Alex Morgan and NBA officials.
What follows are our nods for things like best picture, best supporting actor and the like, but in sports form. Don't worry, we will make sense of it shortly.
The important part is you lend your voice to the process, telling us who should win the categories in the comments section below.
And we already know you will fill us in on the snubs.
Let's get to the ballots, which unlike the MLB Hall of Fame, will one day feature some winners.
Best Supporting Actor: Best No. 2
Here are the best of the second fiddles, men who could dominate on their own. They just choose not to.
Dwyane Wade—I think we can all be adults and call the Miami Heat Lebron James' team.
Gio Gonzalez—The whole Washington Nationals season was about Stephen Strasburg. "Oh, my. What about Strasburg?" Well, like Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained, Gio Gonzalez stole the show.
Alfred Morris—Our dark horse for these awards, the Redskins' running back was largely overshadowed by RG3, and then again by RG3's injury.
Stephen Curry/David Lee—Not sure which member of the Golden State Warriors' two-headed monster is more important.
Russell Westbrook—It's almost unfair that Kevin Durant plays alongside him in Oklahoma City.
Best Supporting Actress: Best Female No. 2
They may not get the credit they deserve, but these lovely ladies are just as dominant as the bigger stars.
Jordyn Wieber—Tasked with competing in three out of four events in the Olympic gymnastics all-around competition.
McKayla Maroney—While she wasn't impressed at the end of the Games, her 16.233 vault certainly was impressing.
Hope Solo—There is hardly a better keeper in the world. Let's leave it at that.
Alex Morgan—You wouldn't think a face so kind could be so deadly with her passing and scoring precision.
Best Actor: Best Athlete
Here is where we determine which athlete had the best year of any other in 2012. It's filled with champions, hard hitters and big-time sluggers...and Peyton's little brother.
Really, there is no wrong answer.
LeBron James—Remember when we used to hate this guy?
Lionel Messi—He may have scored 100 goals if the year were just a few days longer.
Mike Trout—Like a Golden Globe nod for Ben Affleck with a complete snub at the Oscars, Trout makes his way on the ballot without fear of Miguel Cabrera.
Adrian Peterson—Fantasy-football owners, as well as pundits, blew it on prognosticating what kind of year he would have.
Eli Manning—Another Super Bowl MVP in 2012. He still looks like he takes far too long on Sudoku puzzles.
Best Actress: Best Female Athlete
Get out your thinking caps and consider which female athlete deserves recognition for being the best woman in the world at her respective sport.
Abby Wambach—She is your 2012 FIFA Player of the Year.
Gabby Douglas—All-around amazing.
Diana Taurasi—Who am I to argue with USA Basketball?
Serena Williams—Williams, who won Wimbledon, the US Open and Olympic gold, was simply unstoppable last year.
Maria Sharapova—Proved she could again win a Grand Slam at the French Open.
Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh—We may never see another dominant pair like them in the world of volleyball.
Missy Franklin—We see a lot of gold in her future.
Jessica Ennis—Best all-around athlete? Perhaps.
Best Director: Best Coach
You can't have a great movie without some guy yelling "Cut!" or screaming for his actors to get out of their ego-induced haze. Well, the same goes for sports.
Only with less craft services.
Mike D'Antoni—No, only kidding.
Nick Saban—Why not? He wins everything else.
Roberto Di Matteo—He gave Chelsea what they never had and then was fired later in the year.
Mike Woodson—I have the firm belief this man could coach Lindsay Lohan into making good movies. That's how amazing he is.
Bruce Bochy—Two-time World Series, blah, blah.
Gregg Popovich—The man will do what he damn well pleases, which includes winning and screwing with David Stern.
Bill Belichick—This is a list of coaches...I just assumed.
Best Picture: Best Team
Here is the big one, the best picture, er, team in all of sports for 2012. Dig deep and consider which team deserves the high prize for what they accomplished in the calendar year.
Miami Heat—2012 NBA champs, continue to find work for Mario Chalmers.
Chelsea FC—Champions League champs, reduced to playing like a pub team.
San Francisco Giants—Dodgers loyalty precludes me from remembering anything that may have happened last season.
Spain National Football Team—The Euro Cup adds to a long list of recent accolades.
New York Giants—Super Bowl champs, although we may want to forget about that pesky later portion of the calendar year.
U.S. Women's Soccer—The "Golden Girls" at the London Olympics
U.S. Olympic Men's Basketball Team—Dream Team, Redeem Team, whatever. They were damn good.
Los Angeles Kings—Remember hockey? Well, these guys did the unthinkable and won the Stanley Cup as a No. 8 seed...and then we all forgot about hockey.
Best Animated Short: NBA Ref Fails
As an added bonus, we have the best cartoon-like blunders from the land of hoops. Yes, some of these are from 2013, but life is about bending rules—or breaking them if you are making fun of NBA refs.
Joey Crawford Dances—There is nobody Joey Crawford loves more than Joey Crawford.
Double Dribble—The refs in attendance missed the most egregious double dribble in history.
Bill Kennedy Stalls—We always knew TV timeouts were suspect, but don't throw it in our faces.
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