5 Things Tom Thibodeau Is Getting Wrong in Chicago

Kelly ScalettaFeatured ColumnistJanuary 10, 2013

5 Things Tom Thibodeau Is Getting Wrong in Chicago

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    Tom Thibodeau is a great coach, no question about it. If he hadn't proved it in his first two years when he became the fastest coach in NBA history to reach 100 wins, he's certainly done so this year keeping the Bulls in contention even without Derrick Rose.

    But everyone has warts, even "Coach Thibs." Just because he has the all-time highest winning percentage in the history of the NBA, doesn't mean he's perfect. 

    He's drawn criticism for various reasons and we are not afraid to address those reasons. 

His Defense Is Too Good

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    Seriously, have you tried watching a Bulls game lately? The only offense worse than the Bulls is the team the Bulls are playing. 

    It's bad enough watching one team struggle incessantly to simply get one round orange thing through another round orange thing.  Forcing us to watch both teams take on what is a seemingly Herculean task is unconscionable. 

    Suck it up Thibs! Stop putting so much emphasis on defense! Just because your team can't score doesn't mean that the other team shouldn't be allowed to score either. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. 

    How about putting Vladimir Radmanovic on LeBron James for a while and letting James go to town? We need some entertainment in our basketball.

    Now granted, the Bulls might not win, but it sure would make for some highlight reels. 

He Wins Too Much

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    Millions of Bulls fans across the globe were hoping to have a fantastic lottery pick this year. But nope, you had to go and ruin all that with your winning ways and excellent coaching. 

    We could have had a chance at getting some middle-round lottery pick in a sub-par draft, but noooooooo! Tom Thibodeau and his "next man up" philosophy had to go and get in the way. 

    Now we're probably going to have to settle for a pick somewhere around 20 as we suffer through yet another playoff run. 

    We could be staring at an NBA title next year with a lottery pick, even if it was only the 14th pick. The operative word here is lottery.

    There is a massive difference between 14 and 20.

    Well technically the difference is six but let's not confuse perfectly good rhetoric with math. 

    The bottom line is that you suck at sucking Mr. Thibodeau. How are we supposed to win if you keep winning?

He Plays His Starters Too Much

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    The leading cause of fatigue among NBA players is minutes. It's an indisputable fact. I know, because I read it on Facebook, and it said "Fact" right there. Who dares question Facebook?

    Do you want to hear something scary? According to basketball-reference.com, in the entire history of the NBA, only 273 times has a player averaged more minutes per game than Luol Deng has averaged this season. 

    Thibodeau is positively barbarous in his treatment of Deng. It's amazing the man's heart does not explode!

    And as for Joakim Noah? He's on pace for the 551st most minutes played per game in history! That's drastic? How is he supposed to make it to the end of the season logging minutes like that? He's an energy guy and all, but even his energy has its limits. 

    Two minutes on the court is more like five or 10 minutes in real time because of all the timeouts and free-throw shooting. 

    I know how exhausting that can get because sometimes its so bad I fall asleep just watching it. 

    If Thibodeau keeps playing his starters like this, then they won't survive the season. This isn't a coaching issue, it's a humanitarian one. Ease back on the throttle Coach!

He Never Sits Down

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    Have you ever gone to the movie theater and "that person" with the Marge-Simpson-beehive hairstyle, or that 6'10" string bean who looks like he should be playing in the NBA, sits down in front of you?

    Your only choice is to move seats or not watch the bottom half of the movie, but all the other seats are taken, so you're stuck where you are sort of watching a movie? That happens to me all the time. 

    Look at the brunette behind Thibodeau's left hand. See the expression on her face? That's the expression I get when that happens to me. Why is she wearing that expression?

    Because the man never sits down. 

    People paid for those seats Coach Thibodeau. They paid a lot of money. But the Bulls should be giving them away, because the only way they can watch the stupid game behind Thibodeau is if the fan has League Pass on their smartphone. And the 4G signal in the United Center is awful!

    If you're not going to sit down, at least buy them some nachos or something. It's the right thing to do. 

He's Always Yelling

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    Have you noticed something about every picture of Tom Thibodeau—ever? He's always yelling. He yells at refs, he yells at players. He yells at the hot dog vendor. He yells more than Nick Miller!

    Here's my all-time favorite Nate Robinson quote, tweeted by KC Johnson. Robinson is discussing the Bulls offense shortly after training camp commenced. 

     

    Nate Robinson on the offense: "Overall, it was like kids in the playground, hanging out, having fun." Except for the screaming coach nearby.

    — K.C Johnson (@KCJHoop) October 27, 2012

     

    With all that yelling, how are players supposed to feel good about themselves? Come on Coach! Get with the 2010s! This is an age of affirmation and team building. 

    I know that the players love you and one another and that it's an incredibly tight team. But clearly your yelling is having a detrimental effect. Namely, it's ruining my home theater system. 

    I have nice speakers, and I'd like to keep them that way. When I'm watching the game, I want to hear Stacy King and Neil Funk, not your bellowing "JO!!! JO!!! OVER HERE!!!!" blowing out my side channels.

    Count to 10 once in a while. Take a chill pill. Relax. 

    I mean the worst that can happen is you take a seat, the other team starts scoring, we lose the game, we lose a bunch more games, we plummet to the 14th pick in the draft and we win the lottery again. 

    It's only by not caring and becoming a losing coach that you can truly redeem yourself.