Why The Rock's Arms Couldn't Box with CM Punk on Raw

Justin LaBar@@JustinLaBar Featured ColumnistJanuary 8, 2013

Photo courtesy of WWE.com
Photo courtesy of WWE.com

CM Punk gets Round 1 in the verbal battle between he and The Rock as they build to their Royal Rumble match.

CM Punk told The Rock his arms weren't long enough to box with God. The Rock's voice also wasn't explosive enough to out duel the pipe bombs of honesty CM Punk was going to drop.

Set aside The Rock's easy pop tag lines and dairy product talk. When CM Punk stepped right into his  face, told him he couldn't box with God after he had been standing there listening to The Rock for 10 minutes―that's what made me excited to pay money to see the match.

I'll admit, The Rock has a special ability to say the most random phrase which instantly becomes cool and trending. Despite all that, you cannot deny Punk went above and beyond.

Other than what goofy phrase will be chanted, it's fairly easy to see what is coming from The Rock.

There will be a “finally,” he's back in the city. He will cut his opponent off with “it doesn't matter.” There will be some verbal cut down in a little kid kinda voice and he has a sound effect in there that usually is a simulation of a honk, “too-too” or “beep-beep.”

Again, its gotten him a long way and he does it with swagger. If the same things were said by John Cena it would be viewed as corny and not funny by the same people who cheer The Rock.

CM Punk doesn't provide much to predict other than when you know one of those promos are coming you know you'll be quiet and giving full focus to what he's saying.

Predictability isn't always bad in wrestling. Sometimes you just give the people what they want. This match was officially made last night when Punk retained the title against Ryback, but it has unofficially been made for six months.

We knew the match was coming, we knew The Rock was coming to do his same old shtick and we needed CM Punk to hold his own with originality. Mission accomplished on the part of the WWE Champion.

The night was begging for something original and cool. We started off with the awkward promo where Cena raises his voice three levels while making “craptastic” references, dancing around the dirty jokes with AJ Lee. That promo and that Superstar appeals to a different audience, which isn't me. To that audience, it was probably entertaining. The match between the two, as always, for any audience was entertaining.

Then, Randy Orton has a tough guy promo backstage with 3MB talking about Heath Slater playing a harp. I think I know what the punchline meant, but it came off terrible. Twitter nation was confused.

Sheamus had a tough guy promo that was also supposed to be funny with 3MB, and it wasn't funny or tough.

Verbal legitimacy was needed by the end of the night. The Rock brought what the people paid for. CM Punk brought the reason why you're going to pay in 19 days to see it.