Big B and Zim present the Mock 12

 
Mel and Mort?  Not quite…

Big B and Zim, NFL Draft Experts.

As I have very little to do in the afternoons here in the UK at the Worldwide Publishing HQ of KegeratorNation.com, I am usually online.  Well, that’s just about the time that Big B sasheys into his office in his flip-flops, shorts and jersey of the day to “work” and then get on his instant messenger down in Florida. 

So, we’ve been able to chat while I wait for the hand of God to either kill me, grant me a full-time job or I have to go pick up the Mrs. from her job while he “works” at his job. 

Well, we were chatting about the NFL Draft and what could be, and that we’re both preparing in our own way to celebrate one of the NFL’s holy days when we both are scheduling Draft Parties. 

We’ll also be doing a live blog that day of running commentary about each teams’ picks until we are either pickled or bored or both come about the 10th pick.  

That’s when the Bengals pick some schmoe right before New Orleans takes a decent guy and a few picks before Brian starts throwing shit at his TV because the Lions have just picked yet another Wide Reciever at #15.  Look for details on that whole bit come April. 

But for now, Big B and I offer you our thoughts on the Top 10 picks in the draft and then who Detroit and where Cleveland was supposed to draft (instead trading their pick to Dallas for the “services” of Brady “Why do I like cock so much?  I’m a dirty man-whore!” Quinn).

#1. Miami Dolphins

Howie’s Kid

DE/LB-Chris Long (Virginia)
We both came to the conclusion that this is perhaps the logical pick because the #1 overall pick is hard to move with all the money that it takes to harness the player.  The 'Phins could do a lot worse and they won’t be able to get the perceived value out of it to move it. 

Long will be a good fit playing either opposite Jason Taylor (or at the very least making fun of Taylor’s dance trophy).

#2. St. Louis Lambs…er…Rams

OT-Jake Long (Meatchicken)
Though in need of an impact player on defense and working out a plethora of DT’s during the scouting portion of this draft process, it only makes sense that the Rams take care of what they do have and that’s some decent offensive weapons in QB Marc Bulger and RB Steven Jackson. 

It only makes sense to take Long, who is a franchise tackle, to protect what weapons they do have.  Hey, it worked with Orlando Pace many moons ago, why not another Big Ten legend to try to start over?

#3. Atlanta Falcons

QB-Matt Ryan (Boston College)
Again, we’re in lock-step when it concerns the Falcons taking Ryan.  Though they are in need of everything on both sides of the ball, Ryan makes sense because they have no QB other than Joey Harrington (which is like having no QB at all) and will need to try and start somewhere with the offense. 

Though this would be a fine time for them to take a franchise RB in Darren McFadden, it’ll be too much for them to overlook their blaring need at QB.

#4. Oakland Raiders…To Pick McFadden or Not To Pick McFadden?

The next Eric Dickerson impersonator.

Here’s where we start to divide our thoughts on the draft board. 

Big B is insistent that it would be a knuckleheaded move by the Raiders to pick McFadden.  I think it’s almost impossible for them to pass on him. 

Big B thinks that they’ll go old school and build front to back back and get someone to watch that big, fat QB from LSU they have in the form of an O-lineman.  With Jake Long off the board, the stock of Boise State OT Ryan Clady has been rising. 

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