Baseball

Baseball Hit Hard; Team Owners Bringing Back the Scrubs

FLUSHING, NY - MARCH 29:  Fans walk through the turnstile for the Georgetown Hoyas and St. John's Red Storm game at Citi Field on March 29, 2009 in the Flushing neighborhood, of the Queens borough of New York City. This is the first event to be held at the new Citi Field.  (Photo by Ezra Shaw/Getty Images)
Steve StevensonContributor IMarch 30, 2009

This season MLB owners are bringing back the scrubs. 

The economic times have forced us to keep our high paid players. Instead of replacing them with has-beens, could-have-beens, and wanna-bes, we are replacing the fans.

Yup! Cardboard cut out fans in the stands with recorded music sounds and more. We even eliminated paying the umpires at the games, too. The players in the field will make his or her own calls! Still a few players around, but I'm still not so sure about gender! 

Having the cut outs and recorded sounds blasting during a game, the guys will still get all tingly inside when the crowd goes wild. 

As for the hot dogs, we just purchased the largest freezers we could find and plan on reselling them at double the price for those of you who do make it to a game. 

 

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