Somebody save Tiger from sinking in this bog! The PGA depends on you.

Well Tiger Woods has done it yet again.

He conquered Bay Hill in typical fashion coming from behind and sinking a long birdie put to clinch the win.  Two years in a row Tiger has sunk a birdie to win the tourney.  In addition, he ended his winless streak at a whopping two tournaments.  Not bad for someone that took off eight months to rehabilitate his knee.

It is getting pretty evident to me that this guy either has unequaled talent or some type of advantage in his bag that allows him to pull off spectacular shots and comebacks.  Luckily, Fourth and Fifty was able to get an exclusive interview with Tiger to see if we can nail this down.

Fourth and Fifty:  Congratulations Tiger on your sixth victory and Bay Hill and thanks for spending some time with us today.

Tiger Woods:  Thanks and you’re welcome.  It was one wild and crazy round.

 

FaF: You started the day a few shots back.  What was they key to coming up with the victory?

TW:  Well I got a few lucky breaks.  Those never hurt.  Plus Sean O’Hair started to tank late in the day.  I’d say after he dunked it in the bitch on 16, I was in control.  I think he got scared of my aura.

 

FaF:  Wow that’s pretty modest of you.  But I have to agree.  O’Hair puttered out at the end.  You see what I did with that pun there Tiger?  You like that?

TW:  Sorry I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my money counting machine.

 

FaF:  Anyway, you said there was a little bit of luck in your comeback.  But let’s be honest, your skill has a lot to do with it.

TW:  This is true.  It cannot be denied.  I am the greatest golfer of all time.  But I also have help from my caddie and my equipment.

 

FaF:  Ahh yes.  The equipment.  Speaking of that, on 16 when you hit it so close, what club did you use?

TW:  My 11 iron.

 

FaF:  Excuse me, you have an 11 iron?  I thought sets only went to 9 and then on to the wedges.

TW:  Other golfers clubs stop at 9, but my set is special.  When I need that extra special shot, you know when it is all on the line, I reach for the trusty 11 iron.  Other golfers can’t go that far.  Their sets only go to 9, but mine goes to 11.

 

FaF:  Well why don’t you just use the correct club for the right yardage like everyone else?

TW:  11 just gives you that extra edge.  Whether it be 200 yards or 90 yards, the 11 iron never fails me.  This set goes to 11.

 

FaF:  Well there you have it folks.  Go to your local pro shop and pick up an 11 iron.  Speaking of clubs Tiger, I went out and tried some of those Victory Red blades you helped design.  They are pretty sweet.  What makes them so awesome?

TW: You mean besides the fact that I helped design them?  Well the honest truth is there is a little part of me in each club.

 

FaF: Because you put so much effort in to helping the design team?

TW:  No, I literally mean there is a part of me in each club.  I figured that my golf talent must be ingrained in by DNA.  As a result, we put a little drop of my blood in each club built.  Why do you think we called them Victory “Red”.  The idea is that my DNA will help you play better.

 

FaF:  WTF?  Are you kidding me?  So you put your blood and sweat in these clubs, literally.  That is crazy.  Do you think the DNA fusion is helping?  This isn’t some ploy to eventually have your DNA in every golfer is it?

TW:  Oh I think the DNA helps.  I mean it works for me right?  But it’s not everyone can just assume my DNA.  It goes against the rules of nature.  Of course we are working a special set for the ladies that has a different form of DNA in it.  Those would be called the Victory “White” if you catch my drift.

 

FaF:  Yes I think a deaf, blind man could catch that innuendo.  Right, so anyway, you mentioned your caddie too…

TW:  Yeah Stevie helps me out when the times are tough.  If I’m playing bad, I can always count on him to say the right things during the tournament.

 

FaF: Like what?

TW:  Well for example, after I hit it into the bunker on 17, he just walked up to me and said, “Close you eyes.  Now picture me dangling my dice on your forehead.”  It is a little unorthodox, but I guess it works.  You can’t argue with success.

 

FaF:  So when you picture a dude tea-bagging you, you play better?  Have you seen your wife?

TW:  Yeah she’s hot right?  She likes to play with my “11-iron” if you get what I’m saying.

 

FaF: Thanks for that colorful thought there Tiger.  So we’ve got the Shell Houston Open coming up this week.  How come you never play down in my hometown?  Did we wrong you some how?

TW:  No, I just don’t like to play the week before a major.

 

FaF:  Of course, the Masters is coming up.  But you have never played in the Shell Houston Open when it was not the week before the Masters.  What gives?

TW:  Um.  Oh. La la la la.

 

FaF: Way to dodge a question there buddy.  But I guess I’ll be the bigger man.  Good luck at the Master’s this year.  I’m sure you’ll be near the top if not on top.

TW:  Well I fully expect to win as always.  But it is really anyone’s game.  You never know in this sport.  I mean what if I break my 11 iron during a round?

 

FaF:  Good point.  So if you don’t win, who would you expect to see wearing the green jacket on Sunday.

TW: David Duval.

 

FaF:  Keep on dreaming buddy.  Well thanks for talking with us today Tiger and good luck at Augusta.

TW:  Hahahahahaha!  I was just kidding.  I’m going to win.  And it was my pleasure to talk to you Mr. Moose Knuckle.**

 

- Moose Knuckle

*Tiger Woods likely did not actually talk to us.  In fact, he did not.