5. FC Dallas. I support any team that plays in a Pizza Hut Park…or a Carl’s Jr. Coliseum, for that matter.
6. Chicago Fire. The inappropriateness of this team nickname continues to startle me.
7. LA Galaxy. Will a healthy David Beckham make a difference? Will exponentially less media attention?
8. NY Red Bulls. Jozy Altidore should be fun to watch…for a soccer player.
9. Columbus Crew. The Crew’s Argentinian striker Schelotto must feel so terribly far from home in Columbus.
10. Kansas City Wizards. I know literally nothing about this team.
11. Real Salt Lake. With no Freddy Adu, it will be hard to tell just how many teenage girls to expect at home games.
12. Toronto FC. My goodness. How many of these teams are there?!
13. Colorado Rapids. Rapidly sucking.
14. San Jose Earthquakes. The expansion ‘Quakes will have a tough time staying competitive in their first year. Fortunately, relegation does not exist in MLS.
Kevan Lee is a freelance writer and author of www.kevanlee.com and www.obnug.com.















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