Some very lucky guys get to dump a very hot woman to start anew with someone even hotter. Brad Pitt is exhibit "A."
But where NFL coaches and their teams are concerned, it just does not happen like that.
Andy Reid is out of a job. He is apparently serious about coaching in 2013. Looking around, though, his options are going to be less than desirable because of one simple truth: Good teams do not need new head coaches.
Tom Coughlin just missed the playoffs. But he won both of the Super Bowls Belichick lost, including last year's big game. He's safe.
First Mike Smith, then Mike McCarthy took favored teams into home-field playoff matchups last season. Both lost. Neither one is going anywhere; both men are back in the NFL postseason tournament this year.
That's not to say that there are not jobs open.
But here they are, per Gregg Rosenthal at NFL.com: the Chicago Bears (10-6), San Diego Chargers (7-9), Buffalo Bills (6-10), Arizona Cardinals and Cleveland Browns (5-11) and Kansas City Chiefs (2-14).
The Bears were very good this year and only narrowly missed the playoffs. Jay Cutler can play and the defense is solid. But the Bears are aging (Brian Urlacher, Charles Tillman, Brandon Marshall and even Matt Forte) and they do not score points. Plus, the Bears just chased away a guy who went 10-6.
And that's the best job on the board.
Reid is rumored to be the Chiefs' top choice, per ESPN.com. That is the bottom of the barrel.
Their general manager, Scott Pioli, is said to be on his last legs (but he might survive one more season.)
Their quarterback, Matt Cassel, just finished his eighth(!) professional season by posting six touchdown passes against 12 interceptions with a quarterback rating of 66.9.
Brady Quinn, in his sixth(!) professional season (seems like he just left Notre Dame) is Cassel's backup.
Maybe Reid takes the Kansas City job, maybe he doesn't. He could go instead to Cleveland, where Brandon Weeden is the underwhelming incumbent quarterback. Or he could go to Arizona, where his former No. 1 QB, Kevin Kolb, is wasting away, hoping for one more shot.
Of course, Reid has done this before.
When Reid took over the Eagles in 1999, Doug Pederson stayed under center until Donovan McNabb was ready to play. Soon thereafter, Reid and McNabb made their first of five trips to the NFC Championship game.
Can Reid make magic from mediocrity again? He was fourteen years younger then: Only Reid knows how hot his fire burns at age 54.
But if he really wants to coach again, that is the challenge he will be faced with.
Because no good team really needs a retread head coach from a team that just went 4-12.
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