Well, well, Mike Holmgren is willing to listen to offers if an NFL team wants to give him a shot to be a head coach once again. Gee, who saw that one coming?

Obviously, the answer to that is "everyone." When Holmgren was axed as president of the Cleveland Browns, many thought he would consider coaching again. And now, according to Ed Werder of ESPN, he'll gladly listen to the overtures of NFL teams desiring his return:

Former Super Bowl-winning coach Mike Holmgren is willing to discuss returning to the sidelines if some of the seven teams that fired head coaches Monday have interest.

"If anyone is interested, I'll listen," said Holmgren, who indicated he will not aggressively pursue job openings.

We could spend our time discussing which teams should pursue his services, but that's no fun and will be covered extensively elsewhere. Instead, let's break down the absolute worst fits for Holmgren of the seven teams currently seeking a head coach.

Philadelphia Eagles

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After 14 years of the Andy Reid era, the Eagles need to start anew. And somehow, bringing in Holmgren to coach the team would feel terribly familiar.

Holmgren will want a ton of control over personnel decisions. That might not fly in Philadelphia, where general manager Howie Roseman is already in place. Holmgren brings a lot of experience, yes, but the Reid era had gotten quite stale in Philadelphia.

I think the Eagles need a new voice in the locker room, a fresh approach. They need to bring in a college coach like Chip Kelly and Bill O'Brien, or a hot coordinator like Mike McCoy. This team needs someone who will inspire excitement with a new system, not a more experienced coach with a predetermined coaching style.

I could be wrong, of course, but I don't see the Eagles bringing in a Holmgren or Jon Gruden type. More importantly, I don't think they should.

Cleveland Browns

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This would obviously be the worst idea ever. I don't think I need to say any more about this.

Arizona Cardinals

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Holmgren never managed to find a quarterback for the Browns. Now he comes to a team with Kevin Kolb as the top option? And in a year with a pretty weak crop of quarterback prospects at the draft?

No, I don't think that's a very good idea. The entire offense needs refurbishing, especially a horrid offensive line. After years of dealing with poor offenses in Cleveland—and doing little through the draft to fix them—Holmgren and the Cardinals seem like a match made in Hades.

Kansas City Chiefs

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Unlike the Cardinals, the Chiefs have the top pick in the draft and can take whichever quarterback they rate the highest, likely West Virginia's Geno Smith. 

But this still presents a pickle for Holmgren, who was never willing to risk value when selecting a quarterback. In a year with a several defensive players and even a lineman or two being ranked higher on many big boards than any quarterback, would Holmgren endorse using the top pick on a signal-caller?

If not, the Chiefs are just another team with some talent but deficiencies at the quarterback position. I could see Holmgren heading to the Chicago Bears or San Diego Chargers, teams with veteran quarterbacks. I could even see him working with Ryan Fitzpatrick, Steve Johnson and C.J. Spiller in Buffalo.

But I can't imagine him dealing with Matt Cassel. I don't like this fit for Holmgren at all.

Hit me up on Twitter—my tweets can turn lemons into lemonade, but they can't turn Matt Cassel into a franchise quarterback.